Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 10 years ago

What's happening to me?

place?

I keep doing...weird things, and i don't get what's happening.

I'm been through the whole teenage rebel stage a long time ago, it's not that.

Basically, i don't sleep, till about four,

and my eating is so ******, all i eat is cereal, that's it, and if i eat anything else i just throw it up.

I was walking home from meeting a guy i've been seeing, the other night in the pouring rain,i had my headphones in and i just started dancing and spinning around in the street.

Then that night, i was in bed with my headphones in, and a horrible feeling came over me, i just dug my teeth into my upper hand and bit. The bite mark made me feel somehow...good.

Then i kept biting, the stronger the feelings felt the harder i bit down.

Then i dragged my nails down my arms as hard as i could.

I got out of bed and went downstairs, and my arms were a state.

I went into the medicine cuboard and took random hand fuls of pills, then got a knife and sliced little lines onto my wrist bone.

I remember holding the knife against my face, and thinking, that face brought so many spitful people into my life, so many boys that hurt me and so many girls that hate me.

Then i ran a freezing cold bath with candles and just sat in it, i couldn't help bite more.

The whole time i didn't cry, it was like i was trying to reach something, and i kept upping the harm everytime to get abit further there.

The weekend before i went to a party with music blasting and ended up in my underwear with everyone else dancing on a counter top, in a shower with my best friend, having dry sex with my her too, then coming home about one in the morning absolutely hammered.

My mum doesn't know.

I'm not a depressed emo or anything, i just get these random feelings..and now i can't stop biting myself.

I'm not scared, and i don't want to change, in a sense i liked the release, but i just wish i could understand why my peronality changes so much suddenly?

Extra information:

I'm 15 years old, i live in london..i'm quite physically attractive, nothing dramatic is going on in my life, i'm seeing a really nice guy, and my works doing well.so wtf?

9 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    If you don't tell your Mum what is happening, or SOMEONE, so you can get professional help, you may be dead soon. I'm not playing around. You say there's nothing dramatic going on in your life, then you mentioned NOTHING BUT DRAMA! But "drama" isn't the deal here, it's TRAUMA. You suffered some crazy crap in your childhood and you need to talk to a psychiatrist immediately. You have suffered some intense trauma and you have been holding in these feelings of anger and frustration for a long long time. You can be in denail if you like, but if you don't talk to someone, you will regret it.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    You have a chemical imbalance in your brain from not enough sleep, your only getting to bed at 4 which means you brain isnt releasing human growth hormone to grow the rest of your brain your body and keep youre mind in peak condition, the results of this are anxiety, depression and mood swings, and also cause mental problems like what you said with the knife thing but you do sound like a good girls you need 9 hours of sleep per night.

    Now i am also spiritual, have you practiced any type of magic? if so this could be a demon taking control of you and making you self harm.

    Here is youre answer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtA9kbUb45Q

    Youtube thumbnail

    May you be humbled

    Mason.

    Source(s): I study the human brain, how people think, and how to read people visually. K-S-Mason@hotmail.com if you need help, i know the answer to all!
  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Pray to God consistently while trying, as God helps those who help themselves rather than those who are lazy. Lord Krisna said in Bhagavad Gita, we have to carry out our works and renounce the fruit of our action. So we must keep trying and find joy in doing our work, whether or not we get the desired result. We should not lose hope. Do your best and leave the rest to God,it will all come right some day or night.

  • 10 years ago

    . . . Okay one, thats just weird and rather scary. But if I look at it, it looks like you have a type of phycial bipolar or something that you feel good when you self inflect yourself. And your young (Kinda) I do that once in a while but mine is just cutting enough so I can get blood. Yeah it feels good but if you inflect too much damage to yourself, like what you have, you could hit something and may die from it

    For your own sake and life, I suggest you get some type of help . . .

    Source(s): My own mind ^_^ I have scars from cutting on my wrist but I'm not the crazy people (no offence. . .) that cut and keep doing it.
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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    I sympathize. You wrote a very detailed and long post. How long did it take you to type all of this. Did you do any of what you described, (self harm) while you were typing this? I'm referring to obsessional sustained control.

    You need to see a mental health professional - you already know that.

    Good luck

    Source(s): ER Nurse
  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Quite a story. I originally would of said you were emo or depressed, but I guess not. By your story, it almost seems like your a vampire. I don't know. Call a doctor.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    You are a liar with an overactive imagination, who has got nothing better going on in his/her life and comes on to Y/A to seek attention. Liar liar, pants on fire.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    bipolar

    Source(s): me.
  • 10 years ago

    ..bi polar

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