Sam asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 10 years ago

Muslim women/converts...?

I always thought that women who are Muslim or women who've converted to Islam have to wear the Hijab? That's why I was always confused whenever I watched videos on women who've converted over to Islam, not wearing a Hijab. Shouldn't you be wearing a Hijab if you're Muslim/you convert?

The more I read about Islam, the more i'm starting to like the religion more and more. If I were to convert, which I have been considering it, the only part i'm worried about is the Hijab. I bought one to see what i'd look like with it on and I like it. I felt good wearing it actually. I didn't go out in public with it on though. I'm just scared of what people will think of me. Or if they will judge me since I wasn't born muslim. I hate thinking like that because it shouldn't matter what other people think.How can I stop thinking this way? I'm just worried about what friends and family will think. Mostly family. I know my family won't accept it. I'm scared if i convert,they won't speak to me anymore. My friends don't care though if I were to convert because i've asked them before.

Also,I would love to have Muslim women as friends. I see Muslim girls walking around campus all the time. I would love to be friends with them and learn more about religion from their point of view but i'm scared to just come up out of no where when they don't even know me and ask because I don't want them thinking i'm some weirdo or anything. Any suggestions? :-x

12 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    You've got a few questions so i'll address them in the order you asked :)

    1. The vast majority believe it is obligatory to wear hijab, so yes we Muslim women should be wearing it. But we are all in different stages of faith (some are not ready), different circumstances (some fear families, fighting, etc), and Only Allah (Subhanhu wa Ta'ala - Exalted and Great) knows why or why not someone wears it. Regardless, your intentions should be pure and to obey Allah (Subhanhu wa Ta'ala). Also, some Muslims should not be swearing - and they do. Some should not ______, and they do. We're not perfect - Only Allah (Subhanhu wa Ta'ala) is, but we are Insha'Allah (God-Willing) trying to improve and obey and please Allah (Subhanhu wa Ta'ala).

    2. I am so happy that you're interested - your entire perspective, life, mood changes. so much peace...as i said in my previous question, i cant describe it. Pleeeeasee do not let hijab stop you from converting. That is not the main pillar of faith or main teaching - it is one small aspect (3 verses out of entire Noble Qur'an). So I really encourage you to convert (only if you are ready and certain) even if you can't fulfill some aspects of Islam - it takes time to change a lifestyle etc etc. Yes, sometimes i wear hijab around the house when no one is home and LOVVVVEEE IT! it does feel so good. and then without my family, i went out in hijab once and it felt even more amazing. easier said then done - but remember just to Only Fear Allah. He is All-Knowing, All-Seeing, He can make things you thought were impossible happen, He brings ease after hardship. And you should try to care how Allah will judge you on the On the Day of Judgement because that is the only judgement (an eternal one) that will matter. this is a transient, temporary world. and in fact, even God forbid, people do stare or call you a name.. you get so much reward God-willing for your struggles!! and persevering when people are bashing you/Islam. To stop thinking this way, make dua (talk to Allah); trust Him, He is in charge and in control of everything..He can make something happen or stop it..it is all in His Will. So just trust :) "If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allah, then, Let believers put their trust." [Noble Qur'an 3:160] Again, struggling with your family, you get lots of reward Insha'Allah...and when you come out of it ..it makes you stronger God-willing. and we play out situations and worry so much and what happens is usually not as bad as we made it out to be. msg me if you want to talk more about family reaction, etc. if their love is true for their daughter/sister/etc..then they of course will speak to you. they may be upset at first or for a week, they just need time to get used to the change and soon God-willing they respect and accept it. it just takes time getting used to. also..in WORST case scenario, if you're kicked out - then you can practise Islam fully and freely!!! Allah is taking care of you so dont worry whatever happens.

    3. In Islam, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God), there is an incredibly tight brotherhood/sisterhood/community...no matter if you're Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, White, Latino, etc. so if they are being good Muslims, they will embrace you and want to help and support you and take you as a friend, and as a sister :)

    so i know it's daunting or intimidating, but go up to them and say hi i'm a revert or considering Islam.. or 'Asalam alykum (peace be upon you) sister, i'm a new revert etc etc')...just go up to them.. in Islam, it is important to have a supportive group..it explains that we take on the behaviour/faith of our friends so we always should try to be in good company and have Muslim friends..in real life or at the least on the internet. they no way will think you're weird (God-willing), they will love you as a sister for the sake of Allah (Subhanhu wa Ta'ala)

    I wish you all the best..and msg me if you need anything, we're all here for you

    peace xo

    Source(s): some nice supportive nasheeds (Islamic songs without musical instruments): Native Deen - Not Afraid to Stand Alone, M-U-S-L-I-M, and other songs No Beats Necessary is also nice
  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Oemgee! I feel the same way except for the fact that I am a muslim. I like the hijab and I think the women that wear are so brave, courageous, and beautiful. I really respect them. I'm so disappointed b/c I think im scared of what people will think of me. I mean after 17 years of my life and all of the sudden I start wearing a hijab what will people think. Also, this isn't a very good excuse but I'm deeply in love with my hair and I think it's sooo beautiful and it kinda makes me who I am. Another thing is im attractive and my looks do a lot for me like a lot. What would happen if I started to wear one? I really do feel your pain and I really really understand. I truly wish I could wear it and maybe just maybe I will in the future.

    BTW: Im not ashamed of being a muslim and everyone that knows me knows that I am. I know if I was one of those girls on your campus, I would be happy to answer your questions and become your friend. Just go up to them and say hey I figured that you guys were muslims and I was thinking about converting can you help me out? And im sure they wouldnt say no to you and would be delighted to help you. It's a really great reward to help someone convert or if you convert someone and they probably know that. And if they do say no, hey it was worth a try and it's very haram (not allowed) to do that.

  • Elaine
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Me! I've only been Muslim for a month, and I havent told many ppl (including my family). Making the change to Islam is hard, and itll probably be harder with what youre describing. A lot of times, theres not much you can do unfortunately. Whats really sad is that Muslims arent exempt from racism. As an African American, I've experienced racism from other Muslims. I'm not the only one who feels they have been mistreated, so I know I'm not imagining it or being overly sensitive. The racism is subtle, but its there. Everyone should try to remember that Islam really speaks out against racism, which is one of the reasons its so diverse, it has a message of acceptance for everyone. It might be good to remind the families this once in awhile, that in Islam, theres no room for racism

  • 10 years ago

    Well, first, Hijab is a personal decision for all muslim women. Not all wear it, including many who were born and raised muslims their entire life. But the thing you should remember is that the decision is between you and God, and no one else has the right to judge you for it, either way. If you decide to become muslim, it is something to work out with Allah. There is a lot of information out there, you will find many opinions on it... but if this is your main concern, do not let it prevent you from following the path you feel you should be on. You know the saying, two wrongs don't make a right? Even if you find yourself feeling that it is wrong not to wear hijab, don't let that be a reason you let go of all else you know is right. Hopefully you know what I mean. Follow your heart, ask God to guide you, and things will work themselves out when they are meant to be worked out.

    As for your family, you will likely be surprised. Some family members of mine really dislike my decision, but most of them if not understanding me, do in fact accept me regardless. Your family will probably have a lot of discussions about it at first, some with you and unfortunately some without you around. But over time they see you are the same woman they've known and loved all their life, and your being muslim has no negative effect on that. And hopefully, as I have, you will have at least one or more family members who are genuinely happy for you. My mom embraces the fact I take religion and God seriously, even if I'm not christian as she is. My brother is the same way.

    If you decide to become muslim, and you want more advice on how to start the conversation with your family, you can feel free to send me a message and I'll tell you what worked best for me.

    Best of luck to you.

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    10 years ago

    Assalaam Alaykum. Sister I still have issues with people discriminating against me for being a white hijabi by non-Muslims. That is something you will have to deal with, the stares and possible name calling/discriminating as a Muslimah. But don't let anyone tell you what to do. If you want to revert to Islam then do so. It is very few people who are born into Islam and even fewer people who Allah (SWT) chooses to become Muslim. Sometimes I think reverts are more religious than born Muslims. Born Muslims do not go through a lot of issues that reverted Muslims go through every day. They don't realize how lucky they are to have been raised Muslim, grown up in a Muslim family, been born Muslim. They don't have to worry about family issues, being thrown out of the house or disowned by their family for being Muslim, they don't have to worry about changing their entire life style. I am the only Muslim in my town and the only Muslim in my family. Some born Muslims do judge reverts and think reverts are less "Muslim" than they are astaghirfullah which is wrong. I face constant harassment from my family for me being Muslim, wearing hijab, for my husband being a black Saudi and for him being from the Middle East. Allah (SWT) tests his servants in all sorts of ways and Insha Allah any suffering you endure in this life for being Muslim, you will rewards for in Jinnah Insha Allah.

  • 10 years ago

    I'm having the same issues as you. I'm a new revert and it seems sometimes that I have so many doubts about Islam. I am in law enforcement so it is really hard for me to reconcile the teachings with my daily reality. I have to be around strange men, I see things that the normal person would not see or deal with, and I can't cover. I'm begining to think maybe this is not for me. My job requires me to interact with everyone I come in contact with. Boy this is hard!!

  • rskha
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    It's obligatory for a women to cover her head, in front of others at all times. My mom and 2 sisters don't cover their head because I think that was embedded in our culture. However, I must say, the more converts I see, the more I realize that they follow the teachings of the Quran way more closely then someone who is born Muslim...

  • Pammie
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    I agree with the other answers you got. It is something you do for Allah alone. I do not fear or care about what other people will say or do. I do care about my family though and that is something that I pray Allah will work out. I am so glad I am a Muslimah, I love Allah with all my heart, soul and mind. And you will have many Muslimah's as friends. I have many here and love them. Do not fear coming to Islam, you will not regret it.

  • 10 years ago

    Dear Sam,

    First and foremost, community life is a very important part in a Muslim's life. We are brothers and sisters. If a muslim brother sees people harassing his sister on the street he stands up to her and protects her, because her honor is his and vice-versa.

    To answer your question, you have to make a pure intention for Allah that you are wearing the hijab for Him and Him alone. He will help you overcome these negative thoughts and worries (which we know comes from shaytan, may Allah curse him). In fact, wearing the hijab is a powerful way of knowing who genuinely cares for you versus those who care for their "image" and "reputation."

    Of course wearing the hijab and being a Muslim is the most important thing in this existence, because when you think about it, we all die alone, we are all buried alone, we are all judged alone--so not making a decision of this importance because of people is focusing on an irrelevant variable. In the end, will those people be able to defend you against God's judgment?

    Plus, say you lose a few "friends." Allah will substitute those with friends of His choice who are better and who will ensure that you stay close to Him. Read in the Qur'an how Allah instructs His prophet to stay with the faithful:

    {And keep thy soul content with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, seeking His Face; and let not thine eyes pass beyond them, seeking the pomp and glitter of this Life; nor obey any whose heart We have permitted to neglect the remembrance of Us, one who follows his own desires, whose case has gone beyond all bounds.} - Chapter 18, Al Kahf (The Cave) - verse 24

    As for ignorant people thinking you are a terrorist, weirdo, oppressed, man-slave, dumb (you can add as much adjectives as the media requires)--then that will never go away. It is just a part of the daily test that Muslims have to endure in order to prove their sincerity to Allah.

    As for the fellow Muslims you are asking about, you can approach them confidently with a "Salamu Alaykum", introduce yourself and tell them you are a new Muslim revert who would like to make new friends. I assure you, they would greet you with the happiest face you'll ever see them in because they have gained a new sister in Allah.

    may Allah bless you and increase your faith and conviction :)

    Source(s): Islam; Qur'an, Sunna
  • Shah
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    There is no obligation for Hijab !!!

    And in fact in the Quran there is "NO" such thing as Hijab.

    The **COMPLETE** dress code in the Quran for women is described in 24:31 and it is not "Hijab" as the organized Islam or main stream Islam declares it to be.

    My advice is visit:

    http://www.submission.org

    and

    http://www.free-minds.org

    Source(s): Reformist Submitter (Quranist) "God Alone, Quran Alone"
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