Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 藝術與人文詩詞與文學 · 1 decade ago

幫我檢查我的英文心得

This is my first time to read English novels.

This book is very interesting. Because the tittle is attracted me a lot.

At first, I though I didn’t have the capability to read it.

But, to my surprise, I could read it without burden.

And after reading the novel, it lets me have accomplishment.

The story is about some teenagers disagree on joining to the school basketball team.

Some bad guys used method to stop Ricki and Tony from joining the team.

First, left message and then sent anonymous e-mail to threaten them.

Even gave them trouble repeatedly.

I can’t believe it that they planned to murder Ricki and Tony actually.

Finally, the bad guys received punishment they deserve.

However Ricki and Tony earned the chance of joining the team and won the

championship. It’ s a everybody is happy ending.

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    你好

    1. This book is very interesting. Because the tittle is attracted me a lot.

    改成

    This book is very insteresting, and the title attracts me a lot.

    較通順

    2. And after reading the novel, it lets me have accomplishment.

    可改成

    And I think it is quite an accomplishment for me to finish reading it.

    3.

    Some bad guys used method to stop Ricki and Tony from joining the team.

    First, left message and then sent anonymous e-mail to threaten them.

    Even gave them trouble repeatedly.

    I can’t believe it that they planned to murder Ricki and Tony actually.

    這一段描述感覺比較亂一點,我幫你改了一下

    Some bad guys wanted to stop Ricki and Tony from joining the team.

    At first, they left some messages to them. Then, they sent anonymous e-mails to threaten them.

    They even make them in trouble constantly.

    I can't believe that they actually planned to muder Ricki and Tony.

    4. Finally, the bad guys received punishment they deserve.

    deserve 要變過去式

    (如果你剛開始練習寫英文,可以直接通篇用現在式描述就好)

    這是本小說故事的內容,可以直接以現在式描寫會比較容易,也比較不會漏掉ed

    5.However 後面要加逗點

    6.earned 用 got 也行

    7.It’ s a everybody is happy ending

    這句我不太知道你要表達的意思? 改成這樣好了

    It's the kind of happy ending everybody expects.

    因為我也沒看過這本書 所以大概幫你看了一下

    還有什麼問題到我的網站上留言問

    http://www.wretch.cc/blog/catolove

    希望有幫到你喔

    Source(s): 有問題再問~打字打很久捏~
  • 1 decade ago

    是還不錯啦!

    可是,只寫出要寄恐嚇信,沒有寫寄信的內容,就少了點刺激感.

    還有,開頭的時候,有點太簡單了!

    從第一句This is my first time.......

    到......attracted me a lot.尤其是very interesting這句

    建議可以改深奧一點的句子,像是gripping或者是captivating都可以.

    gripping意思是引人入勝的,而captivating意思是另人著迷的.

    還有the bad guys是如何受到punishment.

    整篇文具通暢,逗句分明,很有流暢感,

    希望能創造出更美好的作品.

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