I need advise regarding how to deal with my angry husband.?

I am 54 years old and my husband is 57. We have been married for 34 years.

My husband has always had a “temper” or so I have been told by his siblings as well as himself. In the last few years his anger episodes have grown more serious and more happen more often. He seems to be angry about something all the time. It could be over national issues, the war, the economy, the president, the congress, any and everything that is going on in the world. He actually has hate for certain national figures. He becomes angry at the most unimportant things.

For instance, our 13 yr. old granddaughter asked, “grandpa, do you know where the new dog leashes are?” He jumped up out of his chair yelling, accusing her of not putting them where she would know where they were (she did put them away properly, but he had moved them to clean behind the washing machine). Within a few minutes he had made a small thing into a giant mountain for no reason. He was yelling at the both of us, for getting him upset: "well she never puts anything away anyways...".

We were totally unable to calm him down. I told him that he was out of line and that he had no reason to verbally hurt myself and our granddaughter as he was doing - she put them away,and he's the one that relocated them after cleaning behind the machine.

I suggested to him that maybe he should go for a walk and cool off. This made him even ANGRIER. He took off walking in 20 F. weather, ice and snow on the ground, and no jacket. After being gone for 2 1/2 hours, and refusing to answer his cell phone, darkness began settling in. I was concerned for his safety, so I called the police to come and look for him. Fortunately, just after I had called the police department, he came walking back. This happened 3 days ago. Since then he has not talked to my or our granddaughter.

Our granddaughter is a precious, kind, gentle person and this behaviour has hurt her to the deepest core. She has always been very close to her grandfather and this is very hard on her. Also, he has been on antidepressants for almost a year. For the first few months they seemed to work really well, however, now I can see no results at all. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was just getting him to the doctor's office just to get these medications.

Please give me some advise - he just doesn't see that his anger is out-of-control.

9 Answers

  • marie
    Lv 4
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    You know your husband probably better then he knows himself. You see these differences in him that he doesn't see. There could be several factors involved here that is effecting him. Stress could be a huge part of it. However, I think that this has more to do with the pills he's taking or his depression. Something has changed within him that he doesn't recognize. I suggest looking up info and side effects on his prescription. I would even speak with his doctor or the doctor that prescribed the pills. Temper or not, he has managed to keep himself in check for over thirty years, so what's different now? What's causing his inability to control himself? I think this is more of a health issue then choice. People are who they are so for him to show a new side after 34 years of marriage makes me think something isn't right with his health. It could be a chemical imbalance or a side effect of his pills but I feel there is more to this then him just being a jerk all of the sudden.

    I have a few family members who are on antidepressants. I think the pills change a person. I have an uncle whom I barely recognize anymore because he is no longer his bubbly self. The pill have made him a dull person without luster. I catch him sometimes just blankly staring into space. It bothers me that pills are supposed to be the miracles of our lives. Pills are just a bandaid. They don't fix anything, they just add to the stress as they are expensive and addictive. Not to mention mind altering. This may not be the case with your husband, but I would suspect it as people don't usually stray from themselves.

  • 10 years ago

    I hate to say this but my grandfather got ot be the same way and when we were finally able to get him to the doctor they said he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. The doctor told us that they will start to change their moods frequently and if they don't understand or can't handle what is going on they will turn it to anger. Some people take their anger out on everyone and don't realize what they are doing is wrong and how much they are hurting their family. If you can you need to get him to a doctor and see if they can figure out what is wrong with him but I would do it as quickly as possible before he severs whatever relationship he has with his loved ones. Good luck!

  • 10 years ago

    This is a difficult situation for you but I feel that you are going to have to take care of yourself first. When he calms down see if you can convince him that he needs to go back to the doctors. Tell him that this would make him feel better.

    If you can tell that he is still angry, suggest to him that it maybe best if you go out of town for a few days. Tell him that you understand that he is angry with you but before both of you say things you may regret this might be best.

    Maybe this way he will open up with you and tell you if something is wrong. Counseling may help but you will need to convince him to go with you.

    Just remember no one deserves to be yelled out like a child no matter how much love you may feel for him. Also, your granddaughter is listening and learning about what is appropriate. For her sake don't let her believe this is how a married couple should act.

    Good luck!

  • 10 years ago

    He sounds mentally ill and I would explain this to your gran daughter. I would seriously consider leaving him. Your poor grand daughter should not have to live like this. Tell him you are going to leave, if he does not go to the doctor with you. I bet he has stopped taking his medicine. Good Luck. You should consider seeing a lawyer and get your rights lined up. You and your granddaughter would be better off in a small place by yourself.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Yeah , that 0bama SonOfaBitch and his "Chicago" style administration have a lot of people on edge.

    Suggest he attends an occasional Tea Party to vent and encourage everyone you know to vote out the God Damned Libs in November.

    He'll be O.K. then.

  • 10 years ago

    sounds like you're going to have to go through the difficulty once again, taking him back to the doctor.

  • 10 years ago

    it sounds like your husband is by-polar,see a doctor

  • Get him a hooker, that'll cheer him up and quick!

  • 10 years ago

    be a doll.grab me a beer and move away...you are blocking my tv....

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