Even if another family member has POA over my mother (and is her health care proxy) don't I still have rights?
***If you don't wish to read everything, just please read the very last paragraph?
My aunt (my mom's 1/2 sister) admittedly hates my guts. She said as much in front of a witness (my uncle) This woman should not have POA over my mother. My mother has suffered periodically from Schizophrenia for about 30 years now, but she has also worked full time for most of her life. Back in 2000 my aunt was helping my mom with a legal matter that involved the estate of my mom's deceased husband. My mom was working full time back then (40 hours per week). She was handling all her own affairs (like paying her bills). She never missed work & she wasn't mentally sick at all. My mom is a very kind & trusting soul. My aunt would place papers in front of my mom to sign, & my mom would just sign those papers without either reading them or understanding what she was signing?
Back in 2008 (I believe) my mom called me up & was in tears. She said to me, "I just found out that M (her sister) has POA over me". Apparently my aunt "let it slip". Maybe my aunt had to "let it slip", because my mom was selling the house that my aunt had helped her gain control over & was intending to buy a much smaller home. The whole point is that for far too many years my mom was completely oblivious to the fact that her sister was her POA. My mom worked full time right up until she accepted an early retirement package from the job she had worked at for like 20 years! I think she retired right around the same time that she was trying to sell her expensive house & purchase a smaller one. I apologize for not knowing precise dates, but that knowledge is not necessary anyway.
In March of 2009 my mom got sick when she hadn't been sick in a very long time. I was in agony over this. I think my mom's unexpected breakdown had to do with loneliness, & retirement, & just not knowing what to do with herself now that she wasn't working? She was also extremely emotional over her new dog that she loved. In any case-she ended up at McLeans mental hospital in Belmont Ma. She spent 3 weeks in that hospital, & then they released her. I went to visit my mother about 1 month or so after McLeans released her. I assumed that she was better, but (sadly) I was wrong. She started acting strange from the moment I arrived in Ma. She was driving me nuts, driving erratically, & bothering me with nonsense when I was trying to sleep. My mom is the most beautiful soul when she is well, but a pain when she's sick. Then something bad happened that (thank God) didn't involve me. My mom was visiting her friend, & they got into a fight. My mom felt too frazzled to drive after police came because a neighbor called the cops. My mom called the sister who has POA over her & asked her to please come pick her up? Police determined that my mom was not well & sent her back to McLeans hospital. My mom wanted me to stay in her home until she was released. The aunt who has the POA wanted me gone. The "funny" thing is that I went out to dinner with my aunts & cousins & they said to me, "Why don't you just stay at your mom's"? I wisely said, "Won't M get angry"? All my family members brushed aside my concerns with, "Why would M get angry"? M got more than angry when she discovered that I was still in my mom's home when I was supposed to have already been on a flight home. She came over at 6:00 in the morning & started screaming obscenely at me (anything you can think of including that I had caused my mom's mental breakdown). After she left, I was in tears. I called the aunt whom I had gone out to dinner with, because I had nobody else to turn to. She didn't care that I was hysterically crying. She just said, "I worked all week-You woke me up". To make a long story short, I ultimately remained in my mom's home against the wishes of my whole family except for my mom, but when my mom was released 1 month later, she was terrified of her sister putting her back in that hospital whose staff had mistreated her. The sister convinced the whole family that my mom was going to get sued because she lived in an over 55 park & I wasn't supposed to stay there for more than 2 weeks. (That was such an idle threat-The place never tried to sue my mom.) My aunt yells at my mom. She talks to her like she's an incompetent child. My aunt hates me because I see right through her. She doesn't care about my mom. When I told her that I had seen the bruises on my mom's body (when I visited my mom at the hospital) my aunt said that my mom through herself against a wall. I believe my mom's assertion that staff there severely bruised her body when they were trying to hold her down & pump her full of medication. (My mom kept a journal during her INCARCERATION in this "hospital" where the woman who handled her "case" used to taunt her with cruel things like, "Nobody cares about you". "Your family doesn't care about you". "Nobody comes to visit you".) How can that woman be wo
How can that woman be working with mentally ill people & torturing them like that? In any case my aunt convinced my mom that she had to kick me out of her home via the police. My mom later told me that she was sorry to have done that to me, but she feared her sister getting her put back in the mental hospital again. I didn't have any money. I ended up on the streets for weeks, but eventually made it back home to CA with the financial help of my mom's friends. Every time I turned around my mom was crying to me that her family had put her back in the "nuthouse". So what was wrong? Apparently none of the medication they were pumping her with was helping. She ended up in the hospital 2 more times. Her last visit to Pembroke hospital resulted in her being a "human gunea pig". Those "doctors" put her on a cocktail of Zyprexa, Perlixin, Adavan, Ambien, & Depacote in high dosages. This news made me sick to my stomach. I didn't understand why the Perlixin my mom had been taking for
Those "doctors" put her on a cocktail of Zyprexa, Perlixin, Adavan, Ambien, & Depacote in high dosages. This news made me sick to my stomach. I didn't understand why the Perlixin my mom had been taking for 24 years had suddenly stopped working? I was smart enough to know that pumping her full of that much medication just to keep her docile & from "bothering" her sisters was dangerous. I knew these drugs would harm my mother in the long run.
I need to relay something DEADLY important. My aunt hates my guts for numerous petty reasons (including simple jealousy). When my mom got out of Mclean's she had the wherewithall to get a copy of the POA that her sister had on her. My mom was majorly drugged up, so who knows how she was coherent enough to get a copy of this legal document, but she did. I researched it & found out that it was the most "fool proof", strong POA that could be drawn up. It's called an IRREVOCABLE POA & no person in his/her right mind would sign such a document
that gives to a sibling complete power over all of your assets. My mom LOVES me. I get everything in her will. Any person who has an heir would not sign this type of document. Family members take advantage of weaker family members all the time. If My aunt truly had my mom's best interest at heart than why not just draw up a POA that allowed my aunt to pay my mom's bills if ever my mom was in the hospital & unable to pay her bills herself. My aunt knew exactly what she was doing. Her husband was a notary who created the POA, & their 2 sons were the witnesses. Anybody with a brain can see how "fishy" that is? The internet warns people to think long & hard before ever signing POAS, because GREED makes family members do bad things to other family members. It happens all the time. My mom was completely competent when her sister "tricked" her into signing this document that made my aunt sole owner of all my mom's assets. If this aunt admittedly hates me-do you really think that
If this aunt admittedly hates me-do you really think that years down the line she's gonna bat an eye at stealing my inheritance right from under me LEGALLY? Of course she isn't, but all my ignorant family members can see is that when I was desperate because the place I was working at was getting robbed left & right my mom wanted to help me out-give me money to go to school & try to make a better life for myself. I'm her only child. She wanted to help me & she had the money. I was across the country. I didn't hold a gun to her head. Ultimately my mom wound up giving me aprox $20,000 that I felt sick over, but she gave me the money over the course of more than a year & did it because unforeseeable bad things kept happening to me (like when I was in pain from a bulging disk & couldn't work for 5 months). I used the money to live off of. She was my mom, but in my family's eyes I took advantage of my mentally ill mother & they DESPISE me for it. In my friend's eyes my aunt's just
just angry because my mom was actually giving me my aunt's money. My aunt never stopped my mom from doing this because my aunt only wanted my mom to continue believing what I had believed: that the POA was limited to when my mom was incapacitated. There was no reason for my aunt to make all of my mom's property her property. This is why my friend firmly believes that my aunt is evil & wants my inheritance for herself. But because my aunt appears to be very rich she can convince EVERYONE that why would she want my mom's estate (worth $200,000) when she has so much already of her own? According to my friend: You can never have too much when you are consumed by GREED. What does it tell any thinking person when my aunt is the one who keeps getting my mom put back in the asylum? My aunt even coldly said to me (when my mom was thinking she might have to stay in McLean's for 6 months), "You're mother belongs in there". My aunt OBVIOUSLY wants to see my mom spend the rest of her life
in a "nuthouse" Anybody with a brain & heart can see this? My aunt even screamed at me, "If it were not for me-you wouldn't even have your inheritance"! (And all along I was busy thinking that my aunt had helped my mom achieve financial freedom & autonomy out of the goodness of her heart-NOT!) Never ever forget that my aunt made herself POA over my mom behind my mom's back! My mom had not one clue what she was signing-that she was literally signing her life away!
So my mom ended up back in the mental hospital 2 more times after I made it back to Los Angeles. She would ALWAYS call me to tell me where she was. I have NEVER in my entire life not known where my other was (and vice versa). My mom hates the sister that has POA over her. My mom calls me up & cries that every time she gets into an argument with my aunt she ultimately ends up back in the hospital. As an "aside" my aunt that has the POA NEVER EVER visits my mom in any mental hospital & gives the excuse that my mom is
abusive towards her. If this woman truly loved her sister she wouldn't care if my mom was abusive towards her or not. She would still have the compassion to go visit her. My aunt is EVIL. My aunt wants my mom to be locked up & out of her mind. I saw the utter coldness in my aunt's eyes (& heard it in her venomous words) when she replied, "Your mother belongs in there". This is my mother. She's all I have. I don't want to see her spend the rest of her life in a "nuthouse", but she's sadly resigned herself to this terrible fate because (as she said to me from Jordan Hospital this past Tuesday) "My family keeps putting me in the mental hospital". They all "claim" that my mom wasn't taking her medication, but perhaps it's a wee bit difficult to remember to take 5 medications that actually are messing up your memory & cognitive abilities?
The bottom line is that my mom was fine forever & now her sisters want to just keep her docile & turn her into a zombie. If they truly LOVED her they would come over to her house every day & make sure that she took all her medication. They refused to even drive her to get new glasses when she accidentally broke her old glasses because (of course) they were too busy. My mom calls me up all the time & tells me EVERYTHING. My mom is all I have in this world. I neither have a "significant other" nor children. My mom expressed desire to me to sell her home & me out here to Los Angeles to start a new life-to be near not only me, but also my ex's mom who LOVES my mom to death! (This is my friend who sees right through my aunt & calls her "The Devil".)
My mom has NEVER not called me & I have not heard from her in 5 days! This has to be some kind of joke, right? Apparently, because my aunt SECRETLY gained complete control over both my mom & all her assets I'm viewed as NOTHING in the eyes of the law. Jordan Hospital is not allowed to tell me the name of the mental hospital where they transferred my mother to. I refuse to ever acknowledge my aunt as POA & Health Care Proxy (like the Kingston police tell me I must do) because my aunt became those things through deceitful means. My mom's friend called up my aunt & very nicely said, "I haven't heard from Evelyn in 5 days-I'm concerned-her daughter's concerned-Will you please tell me where she is"? My aunt coldly replied, "If Evelyn wants to contact you she will" (and hung up).
My aunt also changed my mom's cell phone number to not accept incoming calls. What purpose did this serve except to upset me & send me a clear message? My mom can't use a cell phone in the "nuthouse", so Marion just did that to spite me! I know for certain that something bad is going on, because my mom called me immediately from Jordan Hospital. My mom always calls me. Nobody has any right to keep a child & mother apart. If my mom is not calling me it's because (for some reason she isn't being allowed to). Could my aunt tell the hospital to forbid my mom from contacting her own child. God help this planet if that is true.
Hey Sensible-guess what-The notary was the fking husband of my conniving aunt who was labeled POA! How great-hna? I'm going to take this to the media! I'm going to shout about it on the streets!
My aunt wants my mom permanently in a NUT HOUSE so she can sell all my mom's stuff way before my mom's death-SENSIBLE! It happens all the time where one family member takes advantage of a weaker, naive family member.
- sensible_manLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Your Mother had a choice when she found out she had signed a POA. Actually, I am not believing she didn't know, since a POA needs to be notarized, which requires signing, in person, in front of the Notary. If it helps any, the POA expires at the death of your Mother. Then it goes to what is in the will.
- Anonymous4 years ago
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- wizjpLv 71 decade ago
You have minimal rights. YOu either go to court and have yourself delcared a conservator/guardian, you hire a lawyer to void the POA, or you get past the situation.,