Is this normal for a mortgage lender?

Long story short, my husband and I are buying a house. My credit doesn't qualify, but his does. But because his income alone won't qualify, his parents agreed to give us more money toward the down. The day before we were supposed to close, the underwriter denied the loan because my husband was just promoted... show more Long story short, my husband and I are buying a house. My credit doesn't qualify, but his does. But because his income alone won't qualify, his parents agreed to give us more money toward the down. The day before we were supposed to close, the underwriter denied the loan because my husband was just promoted and his salary went to straight commission and it has only been 6 months. We are applying for an FHA loan. No worries, rules are rules. Now my mother and father in law have agreed to go on the loan. They have asked for literally everything except for blood. I am not kidding. I can't help but begin to think that if we were white and buying in a more suburban area, the loan would have been approved in a second. No, I don't think all lenders are racist, but in this case, I do. I am beginning to think the lender is just trying to "wait us out" to see if we will walk away from this just so they can't be accused of denying a loan for no other reason than race. Just to give you an example of the kinds of things they are asking, that I am sure they aren't asking of "others" is: They want my mother in law to write a detailed letter as to why she received such a large income tax return. WTF? What lender would ask that? But she wants us to have this house, so she is writing it. I want to ask my husband to walk away from this, because I can't bear to see my mother and father in law go through this any longer. But at the same time, I know that is exactly what the lender wants us to do.

I am already upset enough by this whole ordeal. So if you have any smart *** stupid comments, please keep them to yourself. If you have a serious opinion, or have gone through this, I would love to hear it.
Update: I was trying to keep this short, but I must address the first response: My husband, my mother in law and my father in law have all sent bank statements for the last 2 years, income tax returns for the last 4 years, a copy of the trust my mother in law is over, the last 3 years of all my husband's paycheck... show more I was trying to keep this short, but I must address the first response:

My husband, my mother in law and my father in law have all sent bank statements for the last 2 years, income tax returns for the last 4 years, a copy of the trust my mother in law is over, the last 3 years of all my husband's paycheck stubs (and he gets paid every week) you do the math, a gift letter from my in laws, the deposit slip from when we deposited the gift from them into our bank (clearly shows on the bank statements but that wasn't good enough, the tuition records from my daughter's private school she attends (don't know what that was supposed to show) and a slew of other unnecessary and repetitive documents.
Update 2: More info: We are using a mortgage broker and was pre-approved for the loan before even starting this process. When we were denied the first time using just my husband, the broker decided to add my in laws but instead of finding a new lender, he is using the same one that denied us.
Update 3: UPDATE: Just got off the phone with the broker, voicing my frustrations and he said "I feel the exact same way, but trust e, it's not racist. I have 2 other loans out right now that they are dragging their feet on; one couple is Armenian and one is Hispanic. and they want to make sure the down payments are... show more UPDATE: Just got off the phone with the broker, voicing my frustrations and he said "I feel the exact same way, but trust e, it's not racist. I have 2 other loans out right now that they are dragging their feet on; one couple is Armenian and one is Hispanic. and they want to make sure the down payments are from terrorist or drug money." WTF?
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