What do people think of me? I need more self confidence!! help please!!?

I have alot of friends, a couple besties. I'm not exactly popular but i'm not a loser. (I'm in between) People say i'm funny (most of the time), cute, pretty, bubbly/happy, "blonde". Sometimes people take advantage of me because they think i'm an airhead. When really, I lack alot of "common sense" even though Im an straight A student. (never gotten a B in my life) I feel like I don't really know myself and I have little self esteem (no im not emo) and when I feel like someones talking about me behind my back or people start to look at me, I get so embarressed and my face turns bright red. Im also known as a "prep" at my school and i'm not mean to anyone. I just gossip alot and can be judge-mental. SO, PLEASE HELP ME! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. ID ALSO REALLY LIKE TO KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE THINKING OF ME!

Thanks for helping so much, it means the world to me.

Update:

Just some quick info, i'm in middle school and people at my school are pretty stuck up and most of them only care about themselves (I'm sad to say I'm one of them) and I also need some help on changing my "blonde" image, I want people to think of me as the fun, bubbly, congenial girl. Thanks again.

Update 2:

Just some quick info, i'm in middle school and people at my school are pretty stuck up and most of them only care about themselves (I'm sad to say I'm one of them) and I also need some help on changing my "blonde" image, I want people to think of me as the fun, bubbly, congenial girl. How can i achieve that image?!

Update 3:

In a nut shell, im insecure, and am lacking social abilities. I used to be so goood at that 2 years ago. Im almost all ways happy but I somehow lost my social abilities. Please help me!!

Update 4:

I still have my same friends. (alot of them) but Im starting to feel a little left out, just a little but i need this to stop before it grows. (if you know what i mean)

3 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Hi there,

    Let's deal with self esteem first.

    First of all you need to know what self-esteem is. Whilst the definition varies widely most agree it includes an appreciation of ourselves and our personal worth. More specifically it means

    we have a positive attitude

    we value ourselves highly

    we are convinced of our own abilities

    we see ourselves as competent, in control of our lives and are able to do what we want.

    The word esteem comes from a latin word to estimate and so self-esteem is how you estimate yourself. To do that you need to ask yourself some questions:

    Do I like myself?

    Do I think I am a good human being?

    Am I someone deserving of love?

    Do I deserve happiness?

    Do I feel deep down that I'm an OK person?

    If you find it hard to answer yes to these questions you may have low self-esteem but you could be thinking that because of just one aspect of your life. So what can you do?

    1, Accept that you are not alone in the way you are thinking.

    2. Take on board that you are a wonderful, special and unique person and there is no one in he world quite like you.

    3. Just as your fingerprints and DNA are different from everyone else's so too is your mind, how it thinks and operates is totally yours - no one else's.

    4. Out of every living human being you are a one-one. If nature intended this as indeed it did, don't you feel you should accept that you are important and have as much right as everybody else to be on this planet?

    If you find it hard to answer yes to these questions you may have low self-esteem but you could be thinking that because of just one aspect of your life. So what can you do?

    1, Accept that you are not alone in the way you are thinking.

    2. Take on board that you are a wonderful, special and unique person and there is no one in he world quite like you.

    3. Just as your fingerprints and DNA are different from everyone else's so too is your mind, how it thinks and operates is totally yours - no one else's.

    4. Out of every living human being you are a one-one. If nature intended this as indeed it did, don't you feel you should accept that you are important and have as much right everybody else to be on this planet?

    5. You have other rights as well - the right to make mistakes, the right to make bad judgements. To make mistakes is to be human and the majority of us learn to get things right through the mistakes we make.

    6. You have the right to respect yourself and to be respected

    7. Most important of all you have the right to say yes or no for yourself.

    All of us have many aspects to our personality and current behaviour is just one aspect. Sometimes we may feel that we are no good just because we lose a job, fail an exam or perhaps have been unkind to some-one.

    Sometimes we feel we are worthless just because of a failure in one aspect of our life. Do not believe that the whole of you is hopeless, unkind or a failure when really it is just one little part of you that may or may not be these things.

    Take these thoughts on board and your self-esteem (if indeed you have it) will improve.

    Do not worry what people think of you.

    I am giving you a link and if you adopt the characteristics of the main character you will have no difficulty in making and keeping friends. Read this link and see the value of not being judgemental

    http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=As...

    I am also giving a link to what friendships are all about.

    http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ao...

    The following link gives details on making friends - genuine friends at school or college.

    http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ao...

    The following link gives details on how to talk to people when you want to find out more about them.

    http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aj...

    I hope this answer and the links will prove of value to you. There is an awful lot to take in so please feel free to email me if you consider I can be of further assisrance.

    Source(s): ex counsellor.
  • 10 years ago

    Well Kit Kat I am a 50 year old aging hippie and been there and back a few times now . I think you are a very bright warm person that is growing up and little scared to do so. Which is quite normal believe me. And if you find that people are talking behind your back it is probably them wondering how to get to know you. If not they are more than likely feel their own insecurities and are maybe a little jealous of you. so don't beat yourself up over this. You will find yourself when the time is right there is no need to rush things

  • Pamela
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Self-Esteem if anything, boosts self confidence. Self confidence is you ability and courage within yourself to approach daily situation which may be considered out of the normal run-of-the-mill, such as: approaching a stranger, a new task or asking for a phone number. Where as Self-Esteem is more-so how you feel about yourself and how confident you are about your abilities as well as how you perceive your limitations. Someone with low self esteem will be less likely to assume they can do something due to thinking they cannot. Someone thinking 'should I approach that boss about something' may react in either way if they have high or low self esteem, approaching them if they have high Self-esteem thinking they can or low Self-Esteem where they do not thinking they can't do it.

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