I am going through a breakup and need advice, STAT! Thank you for taking the time to read my question :).?

We have been broken up since October and I am still white knuckling it hoping that things will turn around. The reason I have hope is because my ex has told me he still cares for me very deeply and has loved me deeply. We have been communicating the last 4 months and yes, there has been a ton of drama. I basically took him for granted and I intiated the breakup. The damage I have caused almost seems hopeless at this point because he is now supporting my dating others, he said too much damage has occured and that maybe at another time things may work out, but, he has pretty much made up his mind. I saw him a couple days ago and we actually had a pretty wonderful time. I kept it cool and basically treated him like a friend. I initiated the end of our meeting. He drove me to my car and he put his hand on my leg and gave me a tight hug, basically didn't want to let go. Then, he tells me how great I looked and how good I smell and that it was great to see me. Now, I intiated a convo today and now, he seems completely oblivious that the other night ever happened. I asked him if he felt anything when he saw me and asked he was still in love with me. He answered with, "lets focus on the guys you are dating". After our meeting, I found out that he was on an online dating site and knew that my little sister just signed up and he emailed her! He said that he thought her profile looked good and wished her luck with it. Now, he claims that it was strictly to be nice and I accused him of having alterior motives, which lead to another fight. We have agreed to date others and he knows that I am dating a man I actually like and is acting supportive, so I told him that it could potentially turn into something serious and that I was ready to be intimate with this guy. He said, 'good luck'! Of course, I am trying to make him jealous and I don't plan on sleeping with this guy.I am losing my marbles. Anyway, I don't know what to do anymore. I want him back. Thanks again for all of your suggestions.

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago

    Sorry, but common sense miss. If you're trying to make a guy jealous, dating another guy and telling him about it is NOT the way. That will only make him think that you're moving on and in his man brain he's going to think "What the hell, she's doing it I will too." And it will backfire. It will. You initiated the break up, not him. If you really wanted him that badly, you would have made a move already. October. That was 4 months ago. 4 months of possibilities to tell him how you feel. 4 months to take back the 'mistake' you made.

    He said 'good luck.' He's wanting you to move on.

    Just tell him how you feel inside. If it was meant to be, it WILL happen. If not, saying goodbye may be the hardest thing you've had to do, but it's for the best.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Unfortunately you made the mistake of breaking up with him and ruining everything. I have been in his position and it is a horrible and painful place to be. You have caused him great pain and he will probably never be able to forgive you, trust you, and love you completely again. It is also cruel of you to be playing with his heart like you are. Breaking up with someone and then changing your mind about it every other day (while dating other people) is extremely painful for the person you are doing it too. You have no right to be getting on his case for being on a dating site. You are a hypocrite and manipulative. Remember that YOU broke up with him and that YOU are dating other guys. Why would e want to get back with someone as selfish and hurtful as you? You screwed this relationship up so much I doubt you will have a happy future with him. If you care for him at all you will move on and stop torturing him and playing with his heart. Also, shame on you. You are being incredibly unkind to him. You are also a ***** to tell him that you are going to sleep with other guys but that you love him. I am astonished at how immature and cruel you are being to him. I can't believe that you would put this on a public site hoping that people would think that YOU were the victim and not the guy that you are screwing over. You are the kind of person that gives women a bad name. You should be ashamed at your treatment of this poor man. Leave him alone and move on the next man you are going to torture. You are a horrible and abusive person. Stop being so selfish and think about the poor man you are playing. As someone that has suffered at the hand of someone as cruel as you, I know how painful being the victim of your kind of manipulation is. So stop it. If you cared for him in even the tinniest way (which I doubt because you sound like a self centered *****) then you would let him heal and move on to someone that will treat him will respect and love.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hey Conrad...

    Your probably not going to like my answer but ive been in a similar situation. If you know you really love him and he loves you then why suffer? Just get back together. But, honestly after being seperated for so long it wont work out anymore. The back and forth and all the drama. You guys are loseing respet for eachother. If you left him, its for a reason. Think about it, you dont really love him and you wont realize that now but believe me girl, if you left him, you dont love him. You just want him now because you cant have him and you hate the fact that hes moving on and dating. I decided to leave my house in February because I needed a "break" . My husband was destroyed. By March when I realized he had stopped calling me I decided to go back. I was out by April again... In July I could not take being alone and I also heard he was dating someone. I decided to go back but this time he did not want me back. Oh boy did I beg to go back , Finally by August I was back again... I had no friend and i refused to date other people but everytime I would go back to him I was not happy... I left again in October , back again in December.. This time I made friends and started dating ... I HAD SO MUCH FUN!.. I was with this guy for 8 years and did not enjoy my youth at all. By January he sent me divorce papers... 2 years later I am SO happy and so is he. We are the best of friends. He is in a relationship and so am I. You need to concentrate in something else and youll see you dont need to be with him. Mind you, it was a year of DRAMA. It was NEVER going to work out and I have the feeling it wont work out for you. Its been to long since you seperated. Well if you need anything feel free to write to me. GOOD LUCK!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Dating other men is not the answer to your problems, even if it's your motive to make jealous. Make him aware that you're very serious that you want him back, and that he's special. Again, jealousy won't help him notice you care for him by any means. That would make me want to never to talk to you again, especially if I cared for you. I'm the type of person that (out of respect for the new man) will quit talking to an ex, because I know I would be upset if my new girl kept talking to her ex. Maybe that's how he thinks about the situation.

    About your sister, I don't know what to say about that. It would make me think something was up, but if your sister is a decent person, she would never do anything either way, so I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure it was a harmless.

    All and all, I would just keep to myself for awhile, and quit going out with other guys. It's not fair to them if they actually become interested with you either. That's just not right.

    Source(s): personal opinion
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  • 3 years ago

    On one hand, a minimum of he became trustworthy with you. on the different, however - what a JERK. Honey, you're lots greater perfect off without this guy. If he had the nerve to signify which you may somewhat evaluate letting him use your physique as his gadget for procuring his rocks off - !!!! The audacity of him! He has no appreciate for you in any respect! i comprehend the form you're feeling...have confidence me, you're no longer by myself. It occurs to us all. What you do is supply your self some days - no greater suitable than a week - to cry and mourn and wallow. you're able to wallow. while you're doing this, do no longer you DARE call him or text fabric him. Delete him off facebook, and block him so which you is in basic terms no longer tempted to stalk. and don't permit him or all and sundry who might tell him comprehend which you're crying approximately it. you will no longer keep in mind the discomfort of the breakup after awhile, yet you will continuously keep in mind the form you acted. So do no longer bypass appearing a fool. After your alloted wallowing time, commence going out with your friends and having a stable time. Make new recommendations. Get a sparkling pastime. study a sparkling language or some thing. commence residing lower back, in different words, regardless of in case you're completely faking it before everything. you would be very properly, ultimately. It won't take place in one day, regardless of if it is going to take place.

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  • 1 decade ago

    go straight to him ,face him and say do you want me or not ? you will hear this question only once , i need a yes or no ? too simple and easy ?

    if he says yes then work on the things between you guys if he says no then you really should hear it now better than later

    and remember if he says no leave him and walk away without lookin back and please do not lsn to sad songs and stuff

    go out with your friends have fun

    your still young and alotta guys would like to date you

    and remember this ( i know sad thougths will be comin to you ,like what if i couldnt find anyone and stuff like that ) will when this questions comes to your mind answer yourself by sayin " what made him fall for me for the first place will let alot of handsome guys follow me "

    good look chick

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Okay he is one of these two: Trying to let his former love go nicely without going cold turkey.....or he is jerking you around. Darling I understand that you loved...or still love him but aparently he's not sure. If he doesnt decide soon you need to do whats best for you and move on. Your probably scared to do so..but your a woman and one who seems (even just through type) to have a good head on her shoulders. Be strong and make yourself proud. Nothing is more important than your happiness...and this situation is bringing you none. Please give more thought to his actions.

    Best of luck

    Source(s): :)
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  • 1 decade ago

    Tell him you want him back. And then let it at that. Don't date anyone else for awhile, esp. not for spite! thats the worst. Just relax and focus on YOU for a bit. If he loves you, he will come after you..give it 2 months..if he doesn't, move on..cause every woman deserves a man that knows what he wants.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ima a guy... ive been in this situation... amm feeling dont goo that quickly o both of u will suffer in silence except girls get the worst of it usually... however if u stay in silence for a long time and dont talk to the guy u guy will forget each other... so it depends on you ... now if u want him backkk u gotta wait for a whileee... then tell him im serious and things have changed and that u realized that he is the one for you ... if a girl told this to me i would reconsider ... just dont beg for mercyyy... hell torture uuu ... good luck :)

    Source(s): me
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Do you want this the rest of your life? I am having to consider this myself. I am crying tonight but hope this cry will wash my love for him out of my life. Good Luck

    Source(s): self
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