How to deal with a friend who constantly ask for favors?
I have this friend who is an opportunist. If she knows a person can "hook her up" with job (networking), free stuff, and favors she has absolutely no shame in asking. I don't mind helping out a friend but once I do it for her she won't stop asking me for other things. She is also quite demanding and bossy. For example, I will help her find a job listing that my teacher gave me. Then she asked me to ask my teacher for more information to which my teacher got irritated with me. She did not hear from then and accused me of giving her the wrong information. I got mad and hit her up about the accusation, she then said never mind because they later contacted her. She didn't have the decency to apologize. She is a cool girl and I know if I needed help she would do the same for me, but I would never ask her for all these favors. How do I tell her that I am done helping her out without burning any bridges?
- Déjà VuLv 510 years agoBest Answer
Ugh, I had a friend like that. She was a spoiled princess and was used to getting everything she wanted because she was pretty. I got a car before everyone else at school so of course I'm going to drive her around with me, but she got too comfortable and asked me to drive her everywhere without giving me gas money. When she was looking for a job, she applied for one 30 minutes from where she lived, and when I asked her how she would get there she said "Lyla is going to take me." Keep in mind, Lyla lived out there and probably did not agree to take her to work everyday. She just assumed so. Once, I asked her why she had no desire to get her license, and she told me "Why would I go through all that when I have friends that drive me everywhere?" ... I almost slammed the brakes and kicked her out!
Needless to say, things got bad. She was just so used to getting her way. I stopped catering to her so she could learn to do things for herself and she hated that, so much, that she ended our friendship. I had another guy friend who was a good talker and became quite the con artist when it came to getting what he wanted. I had to cuss him out at one point and ended the friendship. Sometimes people are just like that, and you can't change who they are. You need to find friends who push you forward, not use you and pull you back. As HARD as it was for me to let go of these people in my life, I HAD to. I've been doing much better without them in my life. So I miss them? Sure. But it wasn't good for me or them to keep them in my life.
- Rena DLv 710 years ago
Why do you call her your friend? She is an (opportunist) wants (free stuff) Asks ( favors) has (no shame)is (demanding)is (bossy) and (accused you in error) also doesn't (apologize) and you don't want to burn any bridges?? I guess you like the abuse she gives you with her controlling ways.?? How do you tell her?? Well next time she calls say I am on my way out and do not have one minute but I will call you back. Never do it. Or just say NO I have found that no works every time. This type of person will go away in a huff, like how dare you stop letting me take advantage of you after letting me for such a long time. Or just show her your question and all the answers. COOL? there is nothing cool about her and if you ever need help I promise you she will not be available. I wish you decent friends. You have given enough
- Anonymous10 years ago
Tell her the truth. You've got your own thing going on and you can't help her with everything. (Don't bring this up until she asks for something that would be a real headache to you to help or it will seem like you are attacking her). Help within reason. It's part of being a good friend. Friendship is give and take so when you need a favor, don't hesitate to ask her for help.
Good luck in your life and your friendship! Hope this helps!
- Christine...Lv 610 years ago
Is this a friend? You need to evaluate what a friend is. Sometimes a friend can help another friend by telling them to swim or sink. She needs to quit being so lazy and do things for herself, you were not put on this earth to be her personal servant and get a grip. If she cant handle that, you are better off not being in bondage to a user.
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- NancyLv 44 years ago
As your friend, she should understand that this situation is a burden to you. As such, confront her in a nice, determined way. Remember that good friends are always understanding and she should know you do, even if you feel the excuses were lame, have your own life to lead and so does she.
- 3 years ago
Avoid them..like the plague. My friend did that to me.. she borrowed everything from me and I had to beg to get anything back. I just did not return her calls and emails. I felt like I was being punished by her,, she would be online with dozens of other friends...and never be on line with me..(Im older than her ) and go places with her other friends but never go out with me. I finally got sick of it. I asked her to give hundreds of books I owned to her school and she kept them in her basement. SHe did not do what I asked her to ...ever. So she is gone. NO MORE THE FOOL. She trys to control me by talking to my husband and getting him to do things. BUT we are not going to fall for all the bull. She will call to come and visit and when I agree she never shows up or calls to say why.ever. WHO NEEDS THIS?
- 10 years ago
people who are true opportunist, i e myself, go where the opportunities are and if you stop giving this chick who is annoying you what she wants she won't ever stop asking just tell her no when asks for shite for a while and see if she is still your friend, but she'll probably be like most parasites when one source dries up they move onto the next. just imho
- 10 years ago
yes i also experienced it from my best (worst) friend. she constantly ask favors on me without hesitations. it is not bad to help but maybe, there would be some limitations. well it is also hard for us to tell them that we are already irritated with them because we are afraid of hurting their feelings but i think it would be right for them to know cos if you wont tell her she would assume that everything is just okay for you cos you are not complaining. if she is really your friend then she would understand.
- Jedi JanLv 710 years ago
Sounds like you have to say no. Just say you are too busy doing your own work. If she asks you ... to ask your teacher something for her ... ask her why she doesn't do the asking herself. In other words everytime she asks you something, ask her something more. Hopefully she will get bored with this silly game.
- Anonymous10 years ago
next time she asks say..."no...im not your *****...do it yourslef" if she takes it personally then your better off without her, friendships are about give and take not always taking. i have a m8 who id known since primary but met up again in college, hed always ask for ciggys and me to buy him drinks etc but i told him to "f*ck off" cause he didnt do shizzle for me, when he started to then i started to if that makes sence lol.