Sexual Addiction or No Self - Control?

What is your opinion on this matter. I believe that "sexual addiction" is an excuse for no self-control.

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  • Mindy
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sexual addiction is no laughing matter.

    Is alcoholism a matter of no self control, a disease, a medical condition or a combination of all three?

    How many Jehovah's Witnesses are recovering alcoholics?

    True Christians know that even deeply rooted wrong desires, including those that may have a genetic basis or that involve physical causes or environmental factors, are not insurmountable for persons who truly want to please Jehovah. Some people are by nature highly emotional. Perhaps in the past they gave free rein to fits of anger; but knowledge of God’s will, the desire to please him, and the help of his spirit enable them to develop self-control. A person may be an alcoholic, but, with proper motivation, he can refrain from drinking and thus avoid becoming a drunkard. However, it is still a serious struggle. For the alcoholic, just one drink can set him or her over the edge, whereas a person who does not struggle with alcoholism can easily have a drink (or more) and be just fine.

    I myself am a recovering sex addict. I'm not going to go into how I became one but I can tell you that it is much more than simply a lack of self control. I have learned the truth of the Bible, I study intensely with Jehovah's Witnesses and I am making arrangements to become a baptized witness, however, what I go through is a daily struggle that many people can't fathom.

    My comfort comes from the fact that I now know that God is okay with sex as long as it is within the bonds of marriage. I can live with that. Even if I don't find a suitable marriage partner once I am baptized, I know that God will wipe away every tear from my eyes within the New World (Revelation 21:3, 4).

    I immerse myself into God's word and organization immensely so as to counter act the sinful cravings that are within me. I have two formal Bible studies every week, my personal study is 2-3 hours per day (sometimes more), I go out in the field ministry to preach the good news (which is an enormous help) and am doing aux time (though I am not recognized as a aux pioneer yet), there are the meetings at the Hall and the brothers and sisters there which are a huge encouragement. I talk to Jehovah as much as possible in prayer.

    However, for me... more is needed.

    I also regularly attend Sexaholics Anonymous meetings as well as Christian meetings at the Kingdom Hall and it is a tremendous help. I do whatever is necessary for me to stay clean in Jehovah's eyes.

    Many people have absolutely no idea how serious, exhausting and heartbreaking sexual addiction actually is.

    I can't explain what living with sexual addiction is like to someone who isn't a sex addict (only those that truly are sex addicts who fight against it can understand... and of course God can understand).

    Here is information regarding Sexaholics Anonymous and sex addiction so that some can perhaps become better educated about it:

    http://sa.org/sexaholic.php

    { What is a Sexaholic and What is Sexual Sobriety? }

    http://sa.org/test.php

    { 20 question test to see if YOU quite possibly are a sex addict }

    ~Edit @ puppy loves rules~: "Sex addiction is just an excuse for those who don't want to behave with decency. A lot of high profile sports stars, politicians, cinema stars use that excuse when they get caught. It isn't real."

    With all due respect, your statement is absolutely untrue. There are many individuals suffering from sexual addiction that desperately want to behave decently, but because of the ADDICTION to sex, doing so is a serious struggle. Sex addiction can be overcome, it can be conquered, but doing so takes INTENSE serious effort. I use to be addicted to cigarettes (smoked since I was 17) and I can easily and honestly say that quitting cigarettes was by far much easier than quitting sex and getting my cravings under submission to God's will.

    Even the Awake journals and other publications from the faithful and discreet slave recognize the seriousness of the REAL addiction of sex:

    "Sexual ADDICTION is a “chronic illness” that is often misdiagnosed in the treatment of drug-dependent patients, reports the Addiction Research Foundation newspaper, The Journal. One doctor, who is also a founder of a cocaine hot line in the United States, claims that “up to 15% of his cocaine-addicted patients are also sexual ADDICTS.” Sexual ADDICTION includes compulsive behavior at various levels, from compulsive masturbation to sexual fetishes, to sadomasochistic practices, and to compulsive heterosexual and homosexual encounters. The Journal continues: “It is the compulsive behavior that is a major factor in the spread of AIDS”—the disease of almost certain death."

    ~11/8/88 Awake (Watching the World: Deadly Sexual Addiction)~

    "In many lands, pornography is featured on newsstands, in music, and on television, and it virtually saturates the Internet. Is it harmless, as some claim? Absolutely not! Those who view pornography may become habitual masturbators and nurture “disgraceful sexual appetites,” which may result in an ADDICTION to sex, perverted desires, serious marital disharmony, and even divorce. (Romans 1:24-27; Ephesians 4:19) A researcher likens sex ADDICTION to cancer. “It keeps growing and spreading,” he says. “It rarely ever reverses itself, and it is also VERY DIFFICULT to treat and heal.” "

    ~Keep Yourselves in God's Love (page 100, paragraph 9 "PORNOGRAPHY—A FIRST STEP")~

    "Pornography has been cited as one factor in fueling the sex obsession. A self-confessed sex ADDICT writes in The Toronto Star newspaper: “I quit cigarettes five years ago, alcohol two years ago, but nothing has been harder in my life to quit than my ADDICTION to sex and pornography.”

    ~6/8/97 Awake (page 5, subheading "Pornography Distorts Sex)~

    Sister, I'm not saying that you don't have the right to feel as you do. What I am saying is that it's not the right view. Sex addiction is REAL, it is a serious addiction. If the governing body and medical professionals recognize it as such, then perhaps certain views need to change regarding it.

    Granted, sex addiction (like anything else) stems from neglect of God's Word, however, many people who are within Jehovah's organization came from the world and were in deep dark ignorance. Before I learned the truth, I simply considered my lifestyle as... MY lifestyle. Now I realize just how wrong I was and my addiction is a painful price of having lived according to this screwed up world. I KNOW that there are many Witnesses who struggle with this as well as many who are studying and it takes a compassionate ear and understanding to be able to reach the hearts of some of these. They need to KNOW that what they are struggling with is REAL, that it CAN be overcome and that above all else... they can find compassion, understanding and nourishment within God's organization. I have a special soft spot for women that suffer from sexual addiction and there are ripe fields of those hungering for the truth, those who are desperately looking for a way to break free of their crushing addiction within Sexaholics Anonymous (3 members have recently accepted the invitation to the Kingdom Hall due to an article they read).

    I mean you no disrespect sister, however, your statement could be viewed as a stumbling block to those out there that know the realness of their painful addiction, those that are striving to fight against it. I'm in no way saying that your statement was or is a stumbling block to me (it's not). I'm saying that it can be for others. Because I have this addiction, I do lots of research on it.

    I'm a pretty thick skinned person and as my profile shows, I am not ashamed of the topic of sex. What I am ashamed of, is the way in which I lived sexually... prior to learning the truth about God.

    My addiction gives me just another reason to HATE this system, the Devil and my life before learning the truth (Psalms 97:10). I HATE Satan for what has been done to me! I HATE that people in this world are being conditioned to think that pornography, sex before marriage, masturbation, adultry and that the "anything goes" mentality is okay... normal... healthy. I hate him for it! I pray for our King to destroy him and bring upon him all that is deserving.

    ~Edit @ Blahnii~: Correction, my problem is a lot about the companions I HAD (past tense) around me.

    I 100% totally agree with what you said when you stated; "You need companions to fulfill those actions. Keep right away from those circles of people and surround yourself with friends who know not to put any such pressure on you and you will be off to a good start".

    I couldn't agree with you more and that's why all of my friends now are those at any Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses, who truly know, love and worship Jehovah God through his Son Jesus Christ in spirit and truth (John 4:23, 24).

    Thanks for your sincere, thoughtful consideration and likewise, all the best to you as well.

    :-)

    Ciao

    Source(s): I proudly study the Bible intensely with Jehovah's Witnesses.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sure, I definitely believe in sexual addiction, just as I believe in many other addictions. And, those with these addictions certainly can find serving Jehovah a struggle at times (don't we all?). Jehovah WILL help all who want to serve him, no addiction too powerful !

    I do believe, however, that many use the term "addiction" as an excuse for bad behavior. Many live a lifestyle that to them is exciting, empowering, or otherwise psychologically beneficial, and makes then feel good(like lots of sex, its like a drug high). When caught or questioned they claim addiction, when really it was just a life style choice. I know my use of the phrase "drug high" is going to make some point and say "see, it is an addiction". But the fact is that most could change in a instant if they wanted to, so its just bad behavior on their part.

    Again, yes, I very much believe in sexual addiction. But, I think, to make a guesstimate, maybe one person in ten who claims to be a sex addict really is a sex addict.

  • 1 decade ago

    it's the same as any other addiction. It's both lacking enough self control, but also being addicted to the emotions being released from doing/performing/consuming a certain thing.

    (try not eating cheese for a month, and you'll soon find out what an addiction feels like - it's not about the cheese per say, but how it makes you feel)

  • 1 decade ago

    Aren't they the same thing? And addiction to drugs is caused by a lack of self control in most scenarios. Any addiction is fueled by the need for more, and without control this can be all-consuming.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I battle with an eating disorder. For someone to say that i lack self control is ignorant. Addictions are not about self-control, there are usually underlying issues involved. Perhaps many do misuse this term. However this is a serious problem that can not be controlled independently.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is a difference between addiction and no self control.

    Those who are truly addicted to any chemical (drug, alcohol, nicotine, pain killers ) might start out with a lack of self control and poor judgment at the obvious and foreseeable ending.

    Chemical addictions are a definite problem. Sudden withdrawal without help and medical support can be dangerous. Even though we might look at them as weak . . what they deal with is true addiction.

    On the other hand . . like a previous member said . .I am getting sick of hearing that those who have disgraceful sexual appetites are addicts. Giving them a label of illness is offensive.

    On that same argument . .I strongly object to being labeled as 'homophobic' (phobic illness) because I disagree with the life activities of homosexuals.

    They live their lives . . but don't label me as 'phobic'. .I'm not scared of them *like spiders* . .I just disagree with them.

    Edit : reply for Mindy, . . your problems are a lot about the companions you have around you.

    Without like minded 'pleasure seekers' with out of control desires, your problem would have nowhere to go. You need companions to fulfill those actions. Keep right away from those circles of people and surround yourself with friends who know not to put any such pressure on you and you will be off to a good start.

    All the best.

  • 1 decade ago

    No self control is the correct answer, 'sexual addiction' just sells useless self help books.

    edit for Joli: the question was sex addiction or no self control, not at all about eating disorders, alcoholism, or any of the other real problems with life. I have been addicted to cigs, they are real. Sex addiction is just an excuse for those who don't want to behave with decency. A lot of high profile sports stars, politicians, cinema stars use that excuse when they get caught. It isn't real. I in no way was slamming REAL addictions

  • 1 decade ago

    A lack of self control can open up doors that are hard to close.

    Maintaining self control is easier than trying to close an open door.,

    Source(s): One opf Jehovah's Witnesses
  • 1 decade ago

    You're a women so you can't understand from a mans point of view. I'm not addicted, i wouldn't want to control i.e do less than i can do of the best thing i know. I do belive mind over matter and all that tho, only weak people will say addiction. Peace

  • 6 years ago

    I think that sex addiction is a real addiction, not an excuse and there is evidence for that. This video tells us more about that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diBl_41QaQg

    Youtube thumbnail

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There's a big difference between people who:

    have a strong sexual appetite

    are just plain sluts (no control)

    and are actual nymphomaniacs

    just like there's a difference between people who drink a lot (like college students) and actual alcoholics (who have a medical problem)

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