Feeling worthless and suicidle?

Ok now im 17 years old. I suffer from social anxiety and its gotten a lot worse over the years until the point now where I dont even go out anymore. I've become very depressed and always get headaches. I just feel so sad, lonely and forgotten like no one cares about me and I just dont belong here I only belong... show more Ok now im 17 years old. I suffer from social anxiety and its gotten a lot worse over the years until the point now where I dont even go out anymore. I've become very depressed and always get headaches. I just feel so sad, lonely and forgotten like no one cares about me and I just dont belong here I only belong under ground if you get me. I've always been like this and been VERY self conscious of what everyone thinks of me. When I go out I become quiet and feel worthless compared to everyone, and they all talk and are confident and have a good time.

Even in photos I look at myself and feel so disgusting because you can tell im just the one on the end with no confidence at all who doesn't fit in. I went to my doctor and she referred me to a counceller but I doubt it will change anything because ive been such a looser my whole life and I cant see anything changing. I've always tried to be someone else and I dont no who i am. I always try to put on other peoples personalities because I am so bad at socializing. I just stay quiet and its also very embarrassing for me just to be quiet and anxious just like a weirdo not talking and you can tell if someone is very anxious also. Any advice here would be great im just thinking of getting a gun of a friend of mine and shooting myself in the head in the next month or so??
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