eek.. what a terrible situation.
You need to sit him down. And tell him, that the reality of life, and sharing it with someone, is that its not perfect,. and you'll never be stable, one will fall, the other one will pick up after it. That's life. And what he's doing isn't fair to you. Ten years, and you've never moved to another level? I give you so much respect in the fact that you haven't flipped your lid yet. Because i certainly would have.
Tell him that though you appreciate the fact that you want to be a stable provider, but life offers you surprises, and welp, ten years in, here's a surprise. Life doesn't go as planned. Ditch the weed, try a little harder, and get your *** into a realtor's office asap. Or you're gone. Because you don't want to waste another day of your life waiting. Because you've waited patiently for ten years, and he's made absolutely no effort to prove to you that this is what he wants.
This is definatley a much needed conversation. You owe this to yourself. You deserve someone to travel this road with. Bumps and all.
Best of luck.. I hope it goes well for you!