Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 10 years ago

What usually are the dynamics of older men/younger women relationships?

Big age gaps that is--10,15 to 20 years older? Can an older man realistically fall in love with a younger woman? People are very cynical about these kinds of set ups and say that he is just using her for sex but what if the woman in question is intelligent, interesting and strong minded. I know many women in their early twenties who are incredibly clever but there seems to be a stereotype that women in their early twenties must be completely vapid in the head and their only possible redeeming quality is their body and sexuality. Many women in their twenties are not 'clubbers, pubbers, ravers and hedonists'. Some women are beautiful nerds. I know, I meet them all the time and much of the time I find them to be a great deal more interesting than women 20 years senior as they are less conventional, eccentric, open minded. Is it possible that a man could fall in love with a woman so young for her other qualities?

I hate generalisations and simplistic redundancies about human beings..


Im not making these assumptions, I am saying these assumptions exist 'out there' in the world. And I get what you mean by fulfillment. I feel that I don't get what I need from men my own age and a void is left.

Update 2:

For me, the older a man is, the more masculine he often is. With men my own age things seem very gender neutral and passionless..

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    Sure they can. Let's break down LOVE into two basic types of relationships. There are relationships that are geared toward starting a family. In these relationships, the most desirable female is twenty to twenty four and healthy, with the type of beauty and intelligence that the man feels comfortable with. The man is generally thirty or older, educated, and somewhat stable in his career. He can be significantly older.

    Then there is love for the sake of love. People either cannot yet conceive of themselves as adults and parents YET or EVER, or they have already raised their families and been left alone through widowhood or divorce. This type of love has nothing to do with age or age differences or income and social status, assuming the couple has enough to live with dignity and can have friends in common.

    Women in their twenties are not vapid, but for a woman with strong reproductive urges, her body and sexuality, are going to exert a stronger pull on her than her interest in brainier things. This is natural. She has the rest of her life to collect degrees and become an interesting person.

    I don't know anything about the vapid clubbers and pubbers though. Human wastage perhaps, or Natures way of thinning the population, which is not something to despise. It makes sense that girls who are not good mommy material would still feel the pull of the body over brain, and it's good that she has something non reproductive to do to fill the time. Besides, there might be something more to the experience than beautiful nerds and their admirers can perceive.

    But to answer your question, yes, most definitely an older can realistically fall authentically and deeply in love with a much younger woman, and this can come with or without a strong desire to have a family, or a second family.

    People who talk about other people "using" each other "just for sex" have no idea what sex is. They think it's knocking boots or schtupping. They have no idea what they have been missing.

  • auty
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    I understand what you are talking about. Although I don't want a man for sex, for conversation yes. I've found men around 60 or late 50s could guarantee a good conversation. Of course there are the odd ones in their 40s I've found one on here. I don't find guys more masculine or less, I take gender out of the equation. Passion is very strong in these guys. One (I don't really know his age, he looks 50) has more passion than any man I've met. Another seems to know the entire history of Ohio and he's moved to South Carolina. The other is a bit of a mystery, I like that about him.

    One thing you should know about older men, they are usually set in their ways. Some try to change and some do it. That 60 year old, I don't think he'll change.

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    omg did u write this question about me? lol, well i'm attractive (i hate saying that on here because everyone assumes you have a huge ego, which i don't i just have confidence) and my fioncee is 16 years older than me. Im 23 he's 39 and we have been together for 4 years and are very much in love as we we're when we met. I think your right i'm just a bit of a nerdish girl in the sense that i like staying in

    (i go clubbing about once a month because my friends insist) but i don't really enjoy it i'd rather have beers at home and watch a film. i think we're gonna grow old together. I can't be bothered with guys my age they are all so immature and just want to go clubbing all the time. My man is so much wiser has alot of life experience and just experience in general!

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  • Cheryl
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Well most women are attracted to older men at first because women mature emotionally faster. So a guy who is younger or the same age would be too immature, which means she looks for an older guy who is mature enough for her. After that it just becomes an ingrained things, to look for older and more mature men.

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  • 10 years ago

    yeah.. this kind of love can exist.. sometimes a woman has some needs that younger guys cant fulfill. may be this woman finds this older guy more secure, more caring, less competitive and more soft n tender than guys of her age. i can totally understand this.. n at the same time i understand this older man's point of view.. a younger woman makes a man feel younger and more energetic and more in love with his life. so it can be a perfectly healthy relationship (but the woman should make sure she's not taking this man away from his family.. he'd better be single or already divorced when she meets him..)

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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    it is about fulfilling needs

    all relationships are about completion, about finding something in common, or something that augments or expands your life experience

    and how dare you imply that young women are vapid and empty...that is sexist < or 'ageist'> and ridiculous. I know some damn sharp 28 year old PhD's.

    and how dare you also presume that young women all have dyno bodies... they decidedly DON' fact, this particular age group of young women is the least slim ... EVER!

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