A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. A man was draining the old gasoline from his lawn mower. A dog came along and started lapping it up. The dog ran down the street and fell over............ The dog ran out of gas!!!! Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" Q: Why can't you tell corn a secret? A: Because it has ears. The doorbell rings and a guy answers his front door and finds a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and tosses it out into the yard. Two years later, the doorbell rings and the man answers the door and there is the same snail. And the snail says, "Now, what was that about?!"