Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 10 years ago

10 year old stealing because older sister made her do it. moms: what would you do?

i got a call from my daughter's friend's mom. the mom said my 10 year old daughter stole all of the money from her piggy bank when she was at her house today. of course i asked my daughter about it and she clearly was lying about it. she knew she was going to get a spanking and a good time-out for it. i told her if she didn't tell the truth she would get another spanking and double time-out. she wouldn't come clean and admit it and then i made her empty her pockets in front of me. out came over 14 dollars in change and i knew it wasn't hers. i immediately turned her around and gave her a good spanking and marched her straight to time out. i didn't give her another spanking for lying. one spanking was enough. after she stopped crying i had a talk with her. she says it wasn't her fault and that her big sister (my 12 year old) made her do it. we talked more and her big sister definitely had everything to do it and has even done something like this on her own about a year ago. now, my older one is out for the next couple of hours, but of course i will be speaking with her when she gets home and she will definitely be punished. at 12, i have tried to move away from spankings but it seems that grounding really doesn't phase her. she doesn't even care if i take her phone. so i'm not sure what to do.

my ten year old feels that she learned from her punishment and i know she doesn't want another spanking from me for stealing. my two daughters will be going to return the money and apologize to the young lady they stole from.

should i give my 12 year old the same punishment as i did for the younger one? should she get a harder spanking (maybe pants down) and a longer time-out? what would you do if your daughters did the same thing?


should i see if she tells the truth when i ask her? and if she does lie, should she get a spanking for lying too? when she was 11 she stole 5 dollars from the church collection plate. i made her return the money and apologize and we had a talk but i didn't spank or punish her. maybe i should have.

Update 2:

how would you punish your two children if they did this?

7 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    my sisters three years older then me and she could never "make" me do anything but i sure as heck made it seem like she did (I'm not saying your youngest is lying, just saying you should get the older ones side of the story too) ... and as far as punishing since it was the same crime it deserves the same punishment.

  • 10 years ago

    I am not a mom but I have been involved with this as he one being convince to steal. It also led me to believe that I could get awat with it more often and so I went through a real rough phase in high school. Not a fun way to go. The twelve-year old should get the harder punishment in my own opinion because she wasn't thinking about the safety of the younger sibling. It's nice that the one who got stolen from was kind enough to talk to you. What if she had called the police? Suddenly a stupid little prank turns into a biiiig ol' mess. I was the same way as a kid. It was hard to punish me. You just have to find what makes her tick. You know what my punishment was? I wasn't allowed to read. Crazy huh? However, it was the only thing that worked. The only time I could read was when I was doing school-work. I wasn't even allowed to read the cereal boxes! It worked though when nothing else did. Something my mother did to my little brother was put a message on his myspace for all of his friends to read. Embarrassed the heck out of him. She's clever. I think twelve is a little old for spankings and it might just make her resent you. It's a tough call. Good luck!

  • kim h
    Lv 7
    10 years ago

    I do not believe that taking their pants down does anything but cause humiliation. If you are going to spank her do it the way you always have. You need to punish her and she needs to be marched to the other girls house and made to give the money back and to apologize for what she has done. She also needs to apologize to her sister for making her do that. Then she needs to be grounded. Grounded at my house means nothing but out of your room to eat and to go to school. No toys, tv, music, computer, phone, nothing but books and school work. The 10 year old needs to be told that the next time she is forced to do something she needs to come to you so you can deal with it.

  • 10 years ago

    I think you need to talk to the 12-year-old and find out if she was behind this. If so, you need to talk to her about being a positive role model for her little sister. If she admits to encouraging your youngest to steal, I'm all for punishing her, as she needs to know that you will not tolerate her "corrupting" her sister.

    But you cannot lay all the blame on your eldest daughter--your 10-year-old is old enough to know right from wrong, and she stole from her friend all on her own. Her sister was not there to influence her. So don't just assume the eldest is responsible--your youngest daughter made the decision, and you need to tak to her about the importance of making your own decisions and taking responsibility for your actions. She may be throwing her sister under the bus to get some blame off of herself because she knows about her older sister's stealing spree last year. Don't rush to judgment too quickly.

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  • 10 years ago

    This will defo do the trick!

    when she gets back invite all her mates round

    and then pretend you just found this out and say you stole from a lady!

    and then say that it MRS! you are going to have a good old spanking

    and spank her and maybe even pull her trousers down.and spank

    Andt then be really nice to her friends and give them cakes and explain the

    matter to them and they will think you are right n they will think

    your doughter is stupid!!

    And she will be sooo embarsed and say if you EVER DO THIS AGAIN YOU WILL


    i hope this helps lol :-)

    (im 14 n i would be soooo embarsed!)

    and still ground her it is stealing and abusinng ur 10 year old!

    she is still little!

    If you need more info then just email me! i will help for more

    embarrising things! lol

    hope this



    its the only thing that stops me from bein a rebel!

  • 10 years ago

    Hitting your children is the biggest problem. They will be extremely afraid to tell you the truth if they know they'll get hit. Use time-outs. Reward for good behavior.

    Source(s): Life.
  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Take all of her precious possessions away. Then act like you don't know what happened to them. "Someone must have stole them."

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