coco asked in 社會及文化語言 · 10 years ago

help!! english!!!

can anyone help me to fix a gammar

Lot scientists always use history and questions in our life to find out more science theories or history to prove their theories. The government would hire them become an adviser and invest some money to them to find out more theories If their theories got prove. In the movie “Stargate” had archaeologist call Daniel Jackson who had no one to prove his theories at the beginning of the story, but he never give up to prove his theories to the peoples. The government was fully support him and let him to travel Stargate with troops. The troop leader called Colonel Jack O’Neil. He didn’t talk a lot and he thought Daniel was a crazy person. The archaeologist daughter gives him necklace call Egyptian god Ra before he went into a Stargate. It gave him luck and wished he could come back and helped him to discover more evidence to prove his theories.

Daniel Jackson was an archaeologist. He had unequalled courage to prove his theories. He thought if he never gives up proving his theories. He would have someone to prove his theories on some day. At last an archaeologist daughter found him and hope he could help her to solve Stargate. An archaeologist daughter gave him the chance to translate Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs that may prove his controversial theory regarding the Pyramid of Khufu. He knew a chance wasn’t always has it. He only use 14 days to solve for a Stargate. Archaeologist daughter was working in the government and also her father was found a Stargate. She wanted him to solve a Stargate and hope finished her father last words. Daniel Jackson was showed us if we never give up to insist to prove our ideas. If we didn’t insist our ideas, out ideas would never have peoples identify.

3 Answers

Rating
  • Jenkin
    Lv 7
    10 years ago
    Best Answer

    You need more than a fix, you need a total rewrite as I only find only a few sentence correct. But your effort to layout the content and information you want to say is encouraging. I try to rewrite what you want to say in more or less the order you plot out. Hope you will do better next time. Don't try to copy this to submit as homework or you may not be able to explain what you have written.

    Lots of scientists problems in life to develop scientific theories or historical results to prove their hypothesis. The government would hire them to be advisors and invest in them to discover more theories in hope they can prove themselves. In the movie Stargate, there was an archaeologist called Daniel Jackson who had no one to support his theories at the beginning of the story, but he never give up to try to prove his theories to the world. The government eventually support him and let him travel to Stargate with troops. The troop leader called Colonel Jack O'Neil didn't talk to much and he thought Daniel was crazy. Daniel's daughter gave him a necklace of the Egyptian god Ra before he went into the Stargate. It was to give him luck and wished he could come back and helped him to obtain more evidence to prove his theories.

    Daniel Jackson, being an archaeologist, had unequal courage to try to prove his theories. He thought if he never gave up he might eventually be able to prove his theories. Or someone would prove his theories some day. At last, his daughter found him and hope he could help her to solve how to operate the Stargate. Daniel's daughter allow him to translate the Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs that may prove his controversial theory regarding the function of the Pyramid of Khufu. He knew a chance didn't come everyday. So he only used 14 days to solve the puzzle in how to open the Stargate. At last his daughter unlock the Stargate finished her father dying wish. Daniel Jackson showed us if we never insist to prove our ideas, others will never pay any attention to our findings.

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    10 years ago

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  • hkslot
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    Longching2004, there are 3 problems in this article:

    1. Many grammatical mistakes

    2. Ambiguous sentence structures

    3. Lack of vocabulary skills

    Here comes my trial, not the best but hope you can make it as a reference from which you can get much improvement.

    Scientists always derive theories by looking into the history and asking questions in their lives. Governments will hire scientist advisors, invest on them for more researches and new findings. In the movie “STARGATE”, an archaeologist called Daniel Jackson, found no support from the public for his new theories. But he strived his best to convince people. Afterwards the government sponsored him, gave permission the troops to travel Stargate with him. The troop leader was Colonel Jack O'Neil who didn’t talk too much and thought that Daniel was insane. Daniel’s daughter gave him a necklace, the Egyptian god Ra, before he set off. It was a mascot that could bring him good luck, helped him to discover more evidences for his theories.

    Daniel Jackson was an archaeologist. He showed great determination in deriving his theories. He thought that he could achieve as long as he insists, or someone would accomplish his goal sooner or later. Finally Daniel’s daughter gave him the chance to translate Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, which could help proving his controversial theories regarding the Great Pyramid if Khufu. He knew it was a lifetime chance that could not afford to miss, and he spent 14 days to unlock Stargate. Daniel’s daughter was working in the government, while Daniel was the finder of the Stargate. She wished him to solve it, able to realize his last will and testament. Daniel Jackson demonstrated the importance of being persistent – nobody will agree with us unless we strive our very best to prove ourselves.

    Source(s): hkslot
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