In The Name Of Allah The Most Gracious The Most Merciful
O brother of course Allah the almighty will forgive you, Allah is the Most merciful, Allah says in the Quran, if you were a perfect ummah that he would of whiped us all out, so that he may bring others, that do make mistakes, (but listen to what they do), they repent. Allah wants you to repent.
A man came to the prophet and asked him, O prophet of Allah I have done every possible sin is it possible that Allah can forgive me, the prophet said if your sins were like the sea, Allah would change your sins to deeds, the man so happy said to the prophet, O prophet of Allah if that was the case I would have the most deeds in the world, because of how many sins he had committed.
The prophet says in one of his hadith Allah the almighty is so happy of the return of his slave, it is like a person that loses his camel in the desert, and on the camel is his food and water, and the man that lost his camel searches and searches but stops because he is exausted from thirst and hunger, The man surprisingly finds his camel and says O Allah I am your lord, and you are my slave because of how happy he is, this is how delighted is.
Brother we make mistakes we are no perfect, but we must repent. We are all short in worshipping Allah the way he deserves, and we dont repent as much as we should , The prophet himself said, I repent to my lord more than 100 times a day, so what do you think we should be doing.
See the reason you did these things is because of your nafs, the nafs is your self conscious, see Iblees,(the devil), makes you do so many sin, that your nafs wants to keep doing it, Ibless has made you do it so many times that he doesn't have to whisper to you anymore, that's why if you notice, say A oothoobillahee minalshaitan alrageem ( I seek refuge with Allah from the devil), you would still notice that there is still temptation to do what you crave, that is because the nafs wants it, but you must fight it, the prophet said the greatest jihad is to fight against your self conscious. One of the companions once said The nafs is like a stealer, if you dont watch it, it will run away with your money, meaning your deeds.
He also said that the nafs is like a child if you give it everything it wants it will become spoiled.
We ask Allah that he makes us strong.
The best way to become a better muslim is to gain honor, and to gain honor you should follow the greatest man to walk this earth prophet mohamed peace and blessings be upon him.
There is a story of a man that killed 99 men, he really wanted to ask for repentance. but didn't know if Allah would except it, so he went around in the village searching for someone knowledgeable to give him an answer, there wasn't really a scholar but there was a religious person in that village, so the man that killed 99 approached this religious man and told him the story, the man replied THERE IS NO WAY ALLAH WILL FORGIVE YOU, so he added the religious man onto the pile and made it 100. He found someone else and went to him and told him the same story, the man told him if you really want to repent leave this village because it always reminds you of evil things so leave go to another village, as this man was on his way he died, the angels were now disputing where he should go, the angels of heaven were pulling his soul to heaven and the angels of hell were also pulling his soul, Allah then sent down another angel to solve the problem, he said Allah has said that you should measure the length of the land, if he is closer to the land that he was leaving hes in hell, but if he was near the other land he was going to then he is in heaven, the man was closer to the land he was leaving, but becuase of Allahs mercy to his creation he streched the land and made him closer to the land he was going to so he went to paradise.
We learn from this story that we should stay away from that which leads us astray, we should also watch our friends, a man came to the prophet and asked him what kind of a person am I, the prophet replied tell me who your friends are I'll tell you what kind of a person you are.
Allah knows best hope I answered your question.