Negative perception of men influencing sexuality?

I have a strained relationship with my father. Growing up he was very critical towards me. He never hit or abused me physically, but I also felt that he used me as sort of an "emotional punching bag" especially when he was in a bad mood. For fun, he would tease and pick on me. He often did this until I... show more I have a strained relationship with my father. Growing up he was very critical towards me. He never hit or abused me physically, but I also felt that he used me as sort of an "emotional punching bag" especially when he was in a bad mood. For fun, he would tease and pick on me. He often did this until I started crying. Then he would get after me for whining.

Honestly, I'm kind of afraid of men. I'm always ready for then to act superior towards me, say an insult, or else have me wait on them. If my dad wasn't having me wait on him, he'd have me wait on my brother, uncles and male cousins at family gatherings. I have trouble making guy friends my own age (I'm 22) and I just don't even feel comfortable around them. On rare occasion I find a man attractive, but it's not like I'd want to be with him. But yet I'm leaning far enough to women I wouldn't consider myself bisexual.

I believe a person is born gay, straight or somewhere in between. I just hope the negative experience I've had with men isn't making me think I'm more of a lesbian than I actually am.
10 answers 10