Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

over protective parents, they dont understand that once im 18 im legally an adult..what am i waiting for?

if i still wont be allowed to do anything and have to go by their rules, i wont be allowed to move out either

would being 18 make a difference to them?

im not allowed to wear make-up the way i want, i havent got to the stage of wearing eye liner yet! ive been waiting since i was 13

not allowed to go out at night and i have to be home by 6 (only in the summer)

winter i have to be home by 4

My dad told me my life begins at 30,

not allowed a boyfriend

and i know that when im 18 i am legally an adult, but im just too sure thats not going to change anything and i still wont be allowed to do what i want, my brother is 20 and my mum is still washing his bum because hes "disabled"! he dosent go out or has friends because he got bullied at school so he left when he was 14 and is at home all day and my mum treats him like a child

But im different.. i have my own social life but they wont let me have it!!

so when im 18... how is that going to change anything if my parents are going to be like this?

what should i do?

they just dont understand =(

im 17

9 Answers

  • .
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    When you are 18 you can move out and live your life, and they cannot stop you. If you choose to allow them to continue to control you, that is YOUR CHOICE. If you continue to live under their roof, at any age, they can dicate the rules and you either obey the rules or you move out.

    So, if you want your life to change start making plans to get out on your own (with roommates or other family or by yourself) and then live as you desire. They cannot stop you, although they can make it clear they don't want you to. Legally at 18, in the US, you are free to go about your own life.

    Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you allowed to have a after school job? If so, I would very much suggest getting one, and save up that money until you turn 18, so you can move out. Once your 18, there is nothing they can legally do to stop you from leaving, nothing. They don't have to help you financially or emotionally, and can stop talking to you, but that's their loss. Or you can arrange with a friend, that once you turn 18, you will move in with them for a few months while you find a job and get on your feet. You can't do much now, but if your not willing to take charge of your own life when you turn 18 (get a job, a apartment, a car ect...) then stop whining. If your making no effort to figure out how to remove yourself from the situation, then you have no right to say anything about it. Also, if you do still live with them at 18, even though your a legal adult, it's still their house/their rules.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you feel independently strong at 18, to be able to put a roof on your head,food on the table,work and continue your education then do it.Are you really ready to start your life with all these responsibilities.At 18, you are an adult you can move out.But remember your parents will be upset

    so don't think for a minute that you can come back when you want to stop playing house anymore.To me 20,seems like a reasonable age.It gives you time to help yourself into getting into college and get a dorm.Get a job and save money for the rainy day.Don't just run because you have rules in the house.So you can't wear liner.You have curfew.maybe you can sit down with your parents and ask if your curfew can be extended now that your older.But what ever you do and if you walk out the that door your on your own.So what ever you decide good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    At age 18 they can't really hold you to anything. However out of courtesy you will still be under the "my house, my rules" blanket.

    When it comes your 18th birthday you don't have to get their approval - make sure you do what you want first and then discuss it with them afterwards. If you continue to ask permission at 18 they can continue to deny it. But don't get in their face about it. If your parents are paying for you in any way, don't push it.

    Don't be one of those kids that wants to be treated like an adult but doesn't work or act responsibly in any way. Turning 18 does not magically make people respect you. You need to earn that. And I agree with the above, turing 18 shouldn't be about wearing eyeliner- you could be sent to war now.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Here's the real deal...IF you want the security, support, food, shelter, money, etc. from your parents, you have to live by their rules whatever they may be.

    If you don't want to live by their rules, you cannot expect them to put a roof over your head, feed you, clothe you, or support you. You don't have to wait until you are 18 to leave home. You could leave now. But I advise AGAINST it. Right now, even though their rules are very strict, you have the advantage of them providing for you. I say stick it out until you have a good solid plan for how you are going to support yourself without their help. It is very risky going out on your own. But it can be done. But not without a lot of thought and preparation. So, if you like eating, and you like a roof over your head, stay at home and abide by their rules. But also talk to them as an "adult" and prove you can be trusted to stay out a little later. Be honest with them and don't give them a reason not to trust you. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    As long as you are living in their home you have to fallow their rules. Get you a job and move out on your own.Then your house, your rules. They may get mad at you. But you do have that right to do that if you want. But don't go whining to them and asking them to help you. Remember, your and adult now. And you can take care of yourself. It's not as easy out there as you think.

    good luck!!!!!!! your going to need it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hurting people hurt others. Theres nothing wrong with you its the people who are mean to you. They are sick and being mean makes them feel better. People/kids/parents do mean things or lie and control. They just want the reaction so they can get high feel good from it. The words are not true. They have a problem and they need control.

    When you have a bad past/rejection/father gone it lets other things start. Anorexia Bi polar, Cutting, OCD, anxiety, panic attacks, hearing voices can all come from a tramautic past. It opens doors to the negative and they start to dwell closeby, like addicitons cravings.

    You can talk to me or google "emotional abuse" and see all the definitions and see its all true. Knowing the truth is the step to freedom from pain. Negative people and abuse brings spiritual problems so praying to get rid of negative things of a spiritual nature is often needed after years of abuse. Its not you its them. Its all about you having control.

    Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Colosians 3-21

    1. Read online about verbal abuse. Read 20+ sites. BULLYING 20 sites

    2. Realize its their problem.

    3. Realize anger hurts you not them.

    4. Google "Sinners prayer"- stops sadness.

    5. Google "Deliverance Prayers"

    Source-- Experience

  • creed
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    just cuz you "turn" 18 physically, doesn't mean you are old enough to handle the "legal" aspects of your life;; if I were you, I would start planning now, & I'm NOT talking about how to wear your eyeliner...

  • 1 decade ago

    go talk to a counsellor and have ure parents talk to them too.. maybe a school counsellor

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