My Husband had an Affair?

My husband says he doesn't love me and "sometimes" care about me. We are married for 7 years and have a 6 year old son together. He says he doesn't like saying things that hurt me and he doesn't want to work on our marriage even though he knows I'm trying. I've been physically ill and my husband left his laptop open and I saw this strange email that he sent to a woman saying that he couldn't win her back and he was disappointed that she went with someone else. I typed in her email address on google and she's a webcam model on ifriends. I confronted my husband about it and he says for years he felt trapped in our marriage so he went outside his marriage to escape reality and he admitted to me that he has feelings for her because she's a nice person.

How do I cope with my husband's affair and trying to save my marriage at the same time?

And I'm also been physically ill for awhile it's like I don't have any strength anymore to deal with all this.

Update:

And yes I do get medical attention.

Update 2:

#2. Do you think he would treat someone else like trash like he's done with me? He hurt me pretty bad emotionally.

31 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm not married, nor even old enough to marry (17), but my dad has cheated on my dad has cheated on my mom countless times. So if your husband is clearly no trying to fix things, do you really want your son to live in a household where his parents' marrige is strained? Six is a young age and I know from studying child care that kids at that age usually blame themselves for a lot of things. My mom wont divorce him for religious reasons and claims that we need him. I grew up seeing all that and more and have a really hard time trusting people. Basically I have been affected emotionally. My brother has turned out the same way and my sisters put up with cheating as well. So if your husband is unwilling to cooperate, think of your son. Do you really want him to end up with trust issues, cheat on others, blame himself for the strain on your marrige, or act out at school? There is many other problems that can develop. It can also affect is cognitive, emotional, and social development. You're lifestyle affects his. I'm not saying you're a bad mother, because that would be saying mine is and mine is an incredible mother, and for all I know you could be one, too. You should have to "cope" with an affair. People cope with sicknesses and losses, but affairs shouldn't be on that list. If your husband says he doesn't love you, then how can you save the marriage? A marriage is built on love and if it's not mutual then there is no mariage to build. You can't force someone to love you, only to realize their feelings if they exist.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    My Husband had an Affair?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can't save something that is already destroyed. Your so-called "husband" is telling you that he has absolutely no interest in being a good, decent, respectable man so you need to file for divorce and just hope that he can be a good father to your son. This guy is making you feel like trash, worthless and you probably feel like you won't ever be able to find someone to love you. Just know that NONE of those things is true. It's HIM who is pathetic, NOT YOU. Good luck, hon.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry your going through this. If your husband is not willing to reconcile with you and stop his extramarital affair, you must leave for the sake of your son and yourself. This is not healthy and there is no reason for you to take this form of abuse. If he is willing to change his ways, then forgiveness should be granted and work on your marraige. If not, you really have no other options. There is nothing to save...

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Tough to have to add emotional ails to your physical ailments. You just have to be strong in yourself, not give up, and tell yourself that you are going to pull yourself through. I know you still love your husband, but that is no way to live. It takes two to make a marriage work, and you cannot fix it by yourself.

    If you don't get out of this situation, you will just continue to decline physically, as well as emotionally.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't understand why you would want to save this marriage? Your husband says he dons't love you and only "sometimes" cares about you and he is having affairs. Your husband is suppose to be the one who unconditionally love you and take care of you when your sick, not leave you by yourself being the only one to try and work on the marriage. You need to think about yourself and your son, save your strength to fight on getting better and not deal with his infidelity. Your worth it!!! Good Luck!!

  • jude
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    If a man tells you he no longer loves you, you have to accept it and face reality. If he has feeling's for her then it may be just a matter of time before he walks out on you for her or someone else. First I would see a Dr. to find out what can be done to help you. But I would not expect good things from this man who clearly seems to want to be with someone else.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am sorry for your illness and for your pain but you seem to be in denial. You are asking how you cope with your husbands affair and save your marriage as if you did not even hear that he told you he does not love you. You cannot force someone to love you and stay with you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your husband doesn't love you, doesn't want to work on the marriage, and sees other women to escape reality? I say the way for you to fix it, is to get a divorce. Why stay and be miserable?

  • 1 decade ago

    Dump the loser.....By the way, I think he most liely got played by the girl. He probably gave her a lot of money and that's the only reason she had anything to do with him. Have you noticed he has been short on money lately? He gave it to her and now she has a new sugardaddy.

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