I need legal advice ASAP, it's an emergengy custody case.?

(brief past, I was abused for 5 years by my daughters father and have been out of that situation for 3 years, he never laid a finger on our daughter, just me) My daughter currently lives with her father, fathers girlfriend and daughter (my daughters half sister), and fathers parents. The grandmother was primary caregiver until the girlfriend came into the picture, the girlfriend and I got along and had the same views of the grandmother. The father was usually gone working or out with friends. A couple months ago the grandmother has an affair and leaves to NY with her new boyfriend. Since her being gone, my daughter had a little outburst because she wasn't being spoiled, but that ended quick, things have gotten better, more communication, my daughter was eating healthier and there was less stress in that house.

Just 3 days ago my ex beats his girlfriend and girlfriend daughter, not touching my daughter (she was just questioned by police). The girlfriend and daughter left, the father was arrested which left my daughter with her grandfather. This whole mess happened on tuesday and nobody informed me. I found out about this on thursday from an inside family member i still stay in touch with in private, and picked her up with permission given by the grandfather. She hadn't showered since the incident and was upset about what happened.

I am scheduled to drop my daughter off on sunday because she goes back to school on monday, Because of what happened I don't want my daughter in that house anymore. Can I keep my daughter until monday morning, take her to school myself, while i go to court to ask for custody? Or do I have to bring her back to that house on sunday even though her father is not available?

I don't want to get in trouble for breaking the friday thru sunday agreement and risk losing my daughter all together. Her grandparents are very controlling people and I have already been told of there intentions to try to get custody while there son is gone to jail. They still haven't told me upfront what was going on.

I NEED HELP ASAP... Do I keep her and not drop her off sunday and take her to school monday morning myself while i take this to court to express my concern, and risk the grandparents calling the police on me for child kidnapping or something else outrageous, which I have no doubt they will try, OR should I drop her off sunday evening as already agreed then go to court monday morning, when they open, to express my concern.


a couple weeks into the affair while the grandmother was still in that house, the grandma was talking dirty to her "bf" a little too loud, my daughter heard more than she needed to, then there was an incident at school when my daughter acted out. The grandmother makes pinky swears with my daughter telling her HER dirty little secrets!!! I'm just finding out about these secrets because of what happend. The grandfather made my daughter promise to lie if she was asked about her dad. I dont want my daughter around her grandparents because of these horrible things. And my daughter is not with me because i gave custody 3 years ago when i broke up with my ex. I had no family or friends, and wanted my daughter to have a roof over her head. I couldn't give her what she needed then, so i sacrificed custody. In the past three years of only haveing weekends with her, i've worked really hard, to get to the point where i can take care of her the right way.

6 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You can go to court and file for emergency custody due to what your ex husband did. You will have to fill out some papers and there will be a court date at a latter time. If you are awarded emergency custody than your daughter will not have to go back to her father.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If the original arrangement is court ordered, you have to take her back. Seems the 'danger' to the household is currently in jail, so you can't immediately use that as a reason for keeping your daughter. If this arrangement is court ordered, the consideration is why you, as the mother, were not given physical custody. Take the child back and go to court to get sole physical custody.


    ouragon, none of us knows the terms of this custody agreement and why the mother does not have custody. The child's primary residence is intact and there is an adult there with whom she lives (her grandfather). Unless the mother states more details of this custody agreement, then I cannot make a blanket statement and suggest she keeps the child. Do you know why she did not get custody of this child? If the father lived with his parents, I am almost certain that fact was taken into consideration in awarding him custody. The child's primary home and a player in this situation is still available for care. If the boyfriend lived alone and was in jail, then it would be understandable to take the child in that situation and then appeal to the court for a more permanent arrangement. If you were being abused by a man, would you leave your daughter there? Won't you take your child with you when you left? The only side of the story we have is the poster's. Can't give advice based on that alone without having more facts. Hence the suggestion for her to stay with the original agreement.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If your ex is in jail, you have no obligation to return her to her grandfather. You and her dad are the people who are affected by the court order. If he's in jail, you have an OBLIGATION to keep her. They have no standing to charge you with kidnapping, which isn't what you're doing anyway. They don't have custody, so you aren't interfering with their exercise of custody. If you are concerned, you should also take everyone but you and the dad off of the pick up list at school.

    I'm glad you're finally taking his violence seriously. He will hit her eventually.

    Jordan: Why is she required to return her to the household? The dad isn't there, he's not married to the girlfriend, so she doesn't have custody, nor do the grandparents have custody. The person who has custody is unable to exercise it, because he's in jail. Would the mom be required to drop the child off at an empty house? That doesn't seem logical to me

    EDIT: I'm assuming the mom and dad have joint custody, the mom didn't lose custody for cause and the grandfather has no legal standing. So, I guess there are a lot of things I don't know..

  • 1 decade ago

    Since the situation does not involve you in a since the offense was not towards you; you can't get a retraining order against him which would allow you to then petition the court for custody. I would suggest you call the police station and ask someone there how the situation should be handled. If the father hold custody and he no longer is able to keep her because he is in jail i would think there should not be a problem legally with you obtaining it. But just call and ask just in case they may be able to file a complaint for you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Unfortunately, if this arrangement was court ordered, you absolutely have to follow through. I'd suggest speaking to a lawyer in the meantime.

    If no custody was ordered yet, then yes- you have every right to seek custody. Just try to be careful how you go about it. This custody cr@p gets to be such a mess sometimes.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    call the grandparents on sunday afternoon and say since her dad isn't there right now, would you mind if she stayed sunday night and I will take her to school and you won't have to get out to take her. would you mind?? I have her clothes all ready and all that. and her school books are here (if they really are). if they say no then you kknow they would have called the cops. even when you take her to the door, ask again say I will still help out since her father is gone and take her to school, then you can see her the next morning too and she can stay in her room and sleep. I think I would take her to cour t with you.

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