An older kid's question about bad parents.?
I'm 19 years old, 3 months till i'm 20. I have had one recurring problem all of my remembered life, only one thing that makes me sometimes feel like my life is terrible (Even though the rest of it is frickin' brilliant). My parents.
The problem is that on the outside they would seem to be very good parents, and maybe parents that spoiled their child a little too much. I'm an only child, so i guess i got a bit more stuff than friends who have siblings. They would seem on the outside to be loving (which technically there are), and respectable people (which technically they also are). Now keeping that in mind, this is where it gets complicated.
Ever since i was a kid they would hold on to me too closely, and yell at me viciously every time that i did something they deemed wrong. Both my parents seem to have had a major stick up their asses since the early 80s, so pretty much any means of fun is bad according to them. Both of them are foreigners to America, and both of them had rocky childhoods. My dad had a worse childhood than my mom did, he was kicked out of his house as a 4-5 year old boy and had to basically wander around looking for places to stay with other family members...so he's fundamentally screwed up. Despite this they are both good people with no intent to hurt other people, and they are respectable in every aspect minus the emotional stability plane. The problem is no one sees what i see at home, and i don't know whether i should feel bad or not.
My main problem is that my parents seem to be in a prolonged state of dysthymia (where they are always in a negative mood), and this carries over to me. I will get yelled at constantly, they will not listen to me even when i carefully sit down and suggest options to fix the situation, they constantly blame me for the problems with the family, they tear down my every being and tell me that i'm stupid and worthless, and basically put every possible combination of emotional abuse on this list and it will be there. I dislike the fact that they dont listen to what i say, and forget key information about my life (I.E: I have a 3.9 GPA, not a 3.1 or something).
When i was younger i thought i was wrong, and i thought that i was just being a difficult kid (which i kind of was). But now that i'm almost 20 (and still living at home because of community college), i'm starting to think that they just might be two assholes who happen to love me. There is no doubt that they love me (In the parent -> kid sort of way) and they are good parents who pay my expenses and such, but at the same time i feel like i really just don't respect them.
Here are things i commonly hear in the house, almost daily:
"You are an idiot!"
"You are just the most low class person!"
"Why can't you be like ________ friend!"
"Why do you associate only with the worst people"
"Do you want me to punch you in the face!?"
"Why are you causing all my problems?"
"Why should we be happy? We have nothing to be happy about!"
I'm kind of stressed out right now so i don't know if im accurately depicting what i'm trying to type out here, but basically what i'm asking is if anyone here thinks that my parents are emotionally abusive and if i shouldn't give a rats *** about the harmful things that they say. As a sidenote: I know none of you can know me but i will tell you truthfully: I don't cause much trouble, and the little that i do is harmless fun. Also i'm pretty nice and my GPA is 3.9. I drink and sometimes smoke weed, and have done harder drugs (though not anymore) and they know it. So thats about all they would have to get mad about i guess.
I know I'm not an adult yet, and i'm still living in their house, but no one should be treated the way i am treated. I get no respect, even when i'm doing nothing wrong. I feel like my parents are misguided people who wouldn't know true happiness if it hit them in the face. I shouldn't care right? Why should I? I don't even like them as people! I'm losing my mind.
On a last note: My psychologist evaluated them and said that they have alot of problems and that the best thing to do is move out, but financially i can't.