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Nicole asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Is it rude to wear headphones at the dinner table if someone else's table manners make you gag?

I was brought up with a very strict father who taught us that table manners are very important. Recently I have moved in with my grandparents and my grandfather chews with his mouth wide open, sometimes food comes out.. and makes smacking noises and other gross sounds while he's eating. He also scrapes his food back and forth across his plate, most of the time I have to get up and take tylenol because my head hurts so much when he does this. Do you think it would be rude of me to wear earbuds to the table to drown out the noise? I've been trying to just deal with it, but I feel like I'm going to be sick a lot when I eat with them, and they won't let me eat anywhere else. Advice?

Update:

seriously, it is gross. He's not losing control of his body, my grandma says that he's always been like that and it grosses her out too. I also moved in with them because they asked me to move in and help them, so moving out on my own is not an option here. Every single person in my family says stuff about it, so it's not just me being like this.

Update 2:

**also, it's not about girls at school, I'm 27!

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Obviously you have not yet learned the great skill of "tuning out" people and this is your chance to practice it because in your life, you're going to have to use that skill a lot. Some older people develop certain things due to physical changes they cannot control--teeth problems and all that. My old dad not only smack and sprays when he talks, you still can't understand him because he's not able to enunciate well anymore, and his gums are receding so he's always picking at his teeth. He has some sort of swallowing problem so spits out part of his food and coughs out some of his food. It really grosses out my mom who has to see him all the time doing this (plus she already was pretty bitter toward old dad and this is just aggravating her more) so she's going to a support group to work it out. I personally can just close it all off and not be bothered by it, find it kind of endearing somehow (because last summer he virtually stopped eating altogether, lost about 50 pounds, was unable to even stand up or get out of bed, and looked like he was dying which he was since he wasn't eating enough to keep going). I love the old guy so if he has to make noises (and he is aware of it, sheepishly apologizes) and all that just to eat, that's ok by me. I'm not selfish enough nor inflexible to allow for some give and take. If you find you simply cannot allow some grace for your grandfather's eating habits, talk to your grandmother. Maybe she'll allow you to either eat alone before them, or after they are finished eating, or maybe take your meals in your room instead. But ear buds would be inappropriate (however, they do make ear plugs usually for swimming that you could probably use as long as you know when someone is addressing you directly--again, ask your grandmother if she'd find that offensive at her table).

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    my cousin used to wear a baseball cap to the table , when he was at our grandmothers house she would force him to take it off, well he did and all we could do was gasp, it looked like he hadn't washed his hair in a year and his forehead was covered in red raw acne, the type of pimples that are half a centimetre above the skin surface with huge white or green heads, all of this was topped off by the smell of unwashed 15 year old boy. not very nice, but he really should have kept the hat on. no matter how rude, any how she sent him from the table and made him take a shower, he ended up wearing one of my gran's boyfriends shirts which was a XXXL on a boy who was tall and built like a bean poll.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, it's rude to wear earphones at the dinner table. Period.

    I can empathize, but try to remember that sometimes older people can't chew as well as others, either because of dentures, or mouths that just don't work like they used to. Try to be understanding, and forget about the earbuds. Sorry.

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  • 1 decade ago

    well once I tried that technique, the earphones thing, with a bunch of people who would not shut up. They would talk and talk and talk and talk and make announcements and make announcements and "May I have everyone's attention please.." on and on and it was all nonsense! I put up with it for a while and when I had heard every flipping announcement 1000 times over I started to wear discreet headphones and just quietly flipped on my music. It was a crowded event so you would think this was entirely appropriate. Do you know what happened. They were furious that they could not control my space. The gave up with the announcement and instead started to tap me on the shoulder, bump me, jump into my face and give me dirty looks. It was all about being in control of what I was to be subjected to - THEM.

    Are you sure you are getting headaches from the eating sounds or getting headaches from a negative energy of control.

    The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans may be of interest to you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes it would be rude of you to wear headsets.

    As people get older they sometimes no longer have the same control of their bodies as they did when they were younger. Give your grand pappie a break there's a very good chance that what you are thinking of as rudeness is just his inability to chew properly or he may even have less control of his tongue.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is rude to wear headphones at the table at any time. Two rudes don't make a right. Besides, you'll have to explain your own rude behavior and you might not want to do that.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should talk to him about it first. It would be pretty disrespectful to wear headphones at the dinner table. I would only do that if you talk to him about it, and he is unwilling to compromise. If he won't, then disrespectfully wearing headphones is better than being in physical discomfort.

    mine plz!

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap6GE...

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You moved in with your grandparents, their home their rules their table manners or lack thereof; so yes, it would be rude, don't do it. Your choices are, deal with it or move out on your own.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with Trixie. Its probably not that gross, it all depends on your state of mind, how you take things.

    Just because girls at school would say its disgusting if you told them, doesn't mean it is, they exaggerate and that helps you convince yourself its gross.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Suck it up and respect your grandfather. He is your elder. Someday that will be you.

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