Converts: What was it like when you converted to Islam?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbYADp56lDc - you can watch it here if you want
But anyway, watching it made me think of what it was like when I first wanted to be a Muslim - the feelings are still fresh. I was scared, confused, and felt torn apart because of the situations I was facing. This was almost 2 years ago
It’s a horrible feeling not feeling part of the ummah, not celebrating eid (so far I have been all alone in times of Islamic holidays, and my first eid consisted of me crying)
Not to mention all the changes I had to make - I felt like I had to change so much, and it was too much to take on at 15 - I wasn't the same with friends, I was trying to wear hijab in a community that despises Muslims and I kept dreaming of going to the mosque like a “Normal Muslim” – In some ways I was jealous of the kids who were Muslim so “naturally”, having Muslim friends and family, and it was no big deal to them, whereas every little thing was a big deal for me and I had to fight a great deal for it. Till this day I haven't been to a mosque, nor have I prayed with a Muslim.
I remember how everything was a mystery - I remember secretly buying my prayer compass and how amazed I was by it - like a 5 year old with a new toy.
Tell me how was it like for you? What events did you have to cope with? Christmas? Birthdays? Eids? What was it like? Did you ever feel like you are lonely?
Reason I’m asking is that after almost 2 years I feel like I am still struggling. I wish I had someone to wake up with at fajr, living in a household where I can hang Islamic pictures wherever I want, and not have to smell the smell of food during Ramadan while I am fasting – and get praised for wearing hijab rather than get treated like crap. I just feel so distant from everything. Have any of you converts felt this? And if so... did it have a happy ending, or is it the same?