Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

a good friend of mine died of leukemia and i feel so angry?

a friend died,she was only 27 and left behind 2 young children. we knew for a while that t would eventually happen ,and i was expecting to get sad or depressed or to decide to enjoy life differently ,but instead i feel so hurt and angry

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Anger is one of the five stages of grief, and is a completely natural, valid response to the death of loved one, especially since she was so young. I first was in denial when I found out I had Hodgkin's, and was in denial that I was in denial, and then I became incredibly angry and hurt, and then I finally started to truly deal with it. You can go through this process when dealing with any sort of grief or trauma.

    God bless.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My best friend has leukemia right now and shes only 13 i feel sad and angry all the time i know how you feel the doctors say she wont make it but what really helps me is to write my feelings down or just talk and get out to try to take it out of mind or go on long walks im so sorry this happened to ill be praying for you

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  • I understand.

    My friend and former brother-in-law passed in November, my niece along with him. It was sheer luck my other niece and nephew weren't in the car at the time. Ordinarily they would have been.

    Anger was the first thing I felt too. In my case it's a bit different since I do believe it was preventable and in many ways his fault, and not only was the child that died involved, but he had two other children who had nowhere to go but to me after the accident. But I think anger is a natural reaction to any kind of death of someone close. You're in too much shock to grieve and anger is easier to cope with until you're in a more stable place mentally to deal with the sadness.

    The five stages of grief are a theoretical model of how grief works in most people. There are some criticisms that are well-founded of it, but the basic ideas behind it are solid. Some people have them in different order, or skip some, but overall there's a predictable progress of what people go through mentally during a loss or a trauma:

    - Denial

    - Anger (with the deceased or with other people/forces; a way to insulate oneself from the sadness until later)

    - Bargaining

    - Depression (classic grief, sadness, lack of motivation or direction)

    - Acceptance

    You'll probably experience a lot of different emotions, in the months and even years to come. But you'll get through it.

    Source(s): Had a lot of different losses of different people and under different circumstances.
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  • 1 decade ago

    It's normal if you feel hurt and angry, I mean, if she was a good friend of yours, no one would even think that you would be happy. Maybe you're hurt because she left you when you didn't want her too. It would really help to know if you were angry at yourself, or why you are angry. Talk to someone about your emotions, just so that you don't go crazy keeping it bottled up inside of you. Sorry to hear about your friend, and hope the best for her two children!

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  • 1 decade ago

    sounds completely normal to feel angry. You're mad that she was so young and now her kids don't have a mother, etc etc. Everyone deals with death in their own way. The sadness and depression could still come, mourning goes in different stages. Maybe you could talk to a counselor to help you through it. When my brother was killed in Iraq I went from being in denial, to numb to anger, then sadness and depression...now it's been 2 years and while it still makes me sad when I think about him, it is easier to cope with. You'll be ok. How sad for all of you that knew her and her poor children. My condolences to you all.

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  • Helena
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    It's horrible that anger isn't it? You didn't say so but I wonder if you feel angry with her and then feel guilty and shocked at yourself? That she has 2 children missing her terribly and you're angry with her for leaving you? That was how I felt when my best friend died at 35. I knew he was going and I knew how much he didn't want to but when he did I was so angry with him for leaving me and making me feel this way. It was awful because he had AIDS and he suffered so much with other people's attitudes that he brought it on himself. Yes, he had unprotected sex but how many people get pregnant accidentally and society think they still deserve support and friendship. We don't think they deserve to suffer for years and then die, do we? I hated myself for feeling so angry with him. I felt I'd let him down. A number of people told me this is very normal - our first reaction is anger and betrayal - how could you leave me- then it cools and we are just so sad and gradually it eases. Mark has been gone for 12 years now and now when i think of him I feel happy with the loving memories I have of him. You cannot hurt your friend now. Accept your feelings as a sign of the depth of your love for her and look after yourself now.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Its normal to feel angry i felt like that when my auntie and grandmother died. Don't keep it bottled in because that ain't healthy. I'll be thinking of ya.

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  • Grieving is along process involving many emotions. My mum's best friend died of cancer , if you want to talk email me.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I'm not really sure what to say but I'll be praying for you and your friends family!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I am so sorry dude. : (

    I hope things turn around for you.

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