What happens when two people claim the same child?

So last year my husband (fiance at the time) filed and claimed 2 dependents, our son together and his daughter from a previous relationship (they have 2 children together and she has 3 children total). He certainly had permission from her but nothing in writing. Well last week we received a letter from the IRS... show more So last year my husband (fiance at the time) filed and claimed 2 dependents, our son together and his daughter from a previous relationship (they have 2 children together and she has 3 children total). He certainly had permission from her but nothing in writing. Well last week we received a letter from the IRS stating that someone else had also claimed the child. He called and confirmed with his ex that her mother had also claimed their daughter (his ex and her 2 children live with her mother). She is now claiming that he claimed their daughter without permission. What are we to do? The letter states that if the social security number is correct and you believe you are the one with a right to claim the dependent to do nothing. But we really don't want to just sit here and wait to hear what will happen. Does anyone know what happens next? Should we contact a lawyer? What are the chances that we are in the wrong?


He did call her on two separate occasions to confirm her permission and to get the social security number of their daughter but we have nothing in writing. He pays child support and can proof so with receipts and check stubs for the entire year. Is her mother allowed to claim her child on her taxes? Yes, the child lives with the grandmother but she doesn't support them financially other then letting them live there. The ex worked in 08 and was on state aid for medical and food stamps. We are thinking that since the grandmother claimed her we can certainly prove we provided more financially for the child then the grandmother can but are just worried about what is going to happen since the IRS is scary lol. Any advice or knowledge would be greatly appreciated. Any sites that may help us understand upcoming steps the IRS will take or personal stories would be amazing. THANKS.
Update: I looked it up on IRS page and found this ---- If a child is claimed as a qualifying child by two or more taxpayers in a given year, the child will be the qualifying child of: * the parent; * if more than one taxpayer is the child’s parent, the one with whom the child lived for the longest time during... show more I looked it up on IRS page and found this ---- If a child is claimed as a qualifying child by two or more taxpayers in a given year, the child will be the qualifying child of:

* the parent;
* if more than one taxpayer is the child’s parent, the one with whom the child lived for the longest time during the year, or, if the time was equal, the parent with the highest AGI;
* if no taxpayer is the child’s parent, the taxpayer with the highest adjusted gross income (AGI).
Update 2: What would that waiver form be called? And can I have her sign it after this has happened?
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