Without guidance in life we have chaos. This is seen in societies where there is much corruption. We need to have rules in order for life to function more smoothly. Even within societies where there is a good structure of policing, legal rights etc people have free will - eg how they want to decorate their homes, how to bring up their children, which career to choose.
How do we know that these men who wrote the Bible interpreted correctly what God told them? The holy spirit took care of that:
(2 Peter 1:20-21) . . .For YOU know this first, that no prophecy of Scripture springs from any private interpretation. 21 For prophecy was at no time brought by man’s will, but men spoke from God as they were borne along by holy spirit.
What happens if our prayers aren't answered? There can be several reasons for this - a) it's not the right time b) God knows better than we do and therefore knows what we need c) maybe it's not in harmony with his will ... Why pray then? We are invited firstly by God (James 4:8) and it's our way of showing that we want to be close with him. Sometimes God answered prayers in the past after a person repeatedly prayed although he wouldn't have done initially.
God is like us and has a personality? Many times in the Bible it shows that God has feelings. We are created in his image (Genesis1:26) in that we can show good qualities such as he has. That he is like us though isn't accurate, he has a perfect balance of all good qualities eg. Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power are 4 of his greatest but there can't be one without the other. People can be just, wise or powerful but without love. Does he have a major ego problem? The doctrine of hell isn't from God - he won't punish anybody in fire eternally - this is just a way of controlling people. Like you said you were told 'the fear of God needs to be put into you' - what is that all about? It's just evil to tell children (and adults) this, who would love anybody who you needed to morbidly fear? (I grew up a Catholic too, so I understand your confusion on these matters).
Jesus said that one of the reasons why he came to earth was to witness for the truth about God and that he represented what God was like (not that he was God). They were together for billions of years before Jesus came to earth so I guess he knows God better than anybody. So Jesus' teachings about love and kindness are reflections of what God wants us to be like. You are right there are so many who proclaim to love God and Jesus but don't respect their teachings or God's command - not to kill. What makes it worse is that the majority of religions bless war and soldiers but we are all from one couple - Adam and Eve and nobody has the right to decide who lives and who dies, which country is the strongest and which isn't - only God has that right and as I said above his qualities of Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power are always perfectly balanced so when he kicks into action it will be done in the right way. (Revelation 16:14, 16; Psalm 37; Proverbs 2:21,22).
If we find similar persons to ourselves who are truly looking for the truth about God and his purposes then meeting together isn't a burden anymore. If those persons use only the Bible as a basis and don't take scriptures out of context then it is also easier to listen to them and learn from them. True worship with fellow believers should be as the following verse points out:
(Hebrews 10:24-25) . . .And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, 25 not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom, but encouraging one another, and all the more so as YOU behold the day drawing near.
I hope you find peace and resolve your confusion.