Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Please help! Husband Having an affair!?

I`m due my first baby with my husband on March 10th and I came home early from my sisters house to find my husband having sex with a 19 year old girl he gives piano lessons to. I dont know what to do I should leave him but I feel so bad on the baby growing up never knowing her parents together. I still love him and he said sorry. But its not like he confessed to cheating on me. H e still would be if i didn`t come home early. Please help?

Update:

I know I should leave him. But I never had a stable background growing up and just want whats best for my baby. I always thought he was the best husband ever. He was always wonderful I guess I`m in denial

Update 2:

Oh my husband is a professianal piano teacher. Its his career and has been giving the girl in question leasons since she was 12. Sick I know

20 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Wow.... he's sorry? If he loved you and really cared about your baby and your future together, that would of never happened... specially in your own home! It takes a mentally sick person to f**k some other girl in the bed you make 'love' to your wife in... mentally sick........

    Man I feel so bad for ya.... All I can say is, leave. Your child deserves a dad she can trust, and no one can obviously trust him! Hes a nut case... and a 19 year old... he has a daughter on the way... you dont want problems with him doing some insane stuff to your daughter... thats the main thing. If he cheated on you, how do you know who he really is then... he may be really mentally ill.

    Get out, live with your sister, dont even let him contact you. If he loved you he would never have done that to you, ever. Specially when youre having his baby =[. Dont be naive and trust that he is truly sorry...

    How is your sex life going to be from now on with him... when you look at him naked and think... thats been with another woman... I wouldnt be able to do that. I am honestly very sad reading your question.

    I'm praying for you sweetie, I hope you take my advice and make the RIGHT choices for you and your baby. Don't be weak. He'll just do it again and again. It could get even worse.

    To Chocolate: Your comment is what I think about everyday lol what is seriously wrong with the world anymore.... my god...

    In general, I hate to say this, but I hope that one day theres a massive plague and takes out all these nasty people in the world... they are so lucky to have what they have and they waste it!

  • CHICKA
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Since she was 12, it has been going on a lot more then when she turned 18, more likely then not. Get some kind of camera's in your house and make sure his not some type of predator because I am sure if you have a little girl you don't want him to hurt her too. He could be a child monster so I would find out and stable background growing up. Um, what's stable about someone sleeping with someone he knew and taught since 12? That is not normal. You can still find a good man who will love you and your child, you don't have to settle, for this man who broke a vow with you and treated it like it was nothing! You deserve better, and you can get more. Get the proof of his affair and take his sorrey butt to court. If he showed some sort of remorse that would have been different, but he didn't. Think of your unborn child and protect your child from him. Please find out if the affair happend before she turned 18 because other kids may have had the same thing happen with your husband.

  • A H
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Your husband is giving "piano lessons" in your own home to a 19 year old girl? Yeah, I'm sure they were bangin that piano hard! That fact right there should have made you say: "Ummm, NO FREAKIN' WAY!"

    I guess the only thing to do here is one of 2 things:

    a.)Get some marital counseling if you think you can work through it and save the marriage.

    OR

    b.)File for divorce(cause:adultery).

    Honestly though hon, I really don't believe it was his first time if they have been meeting together for these lessons. He's just telling you that to comfort you and keep you from leaving him.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is or will not be as though you are an un wed mother. Your husband deserves any thing he gets or does not get from you ! Had he cared about you during this time of your life he would not have had sex with one of his students.

    What you should have done is picked up a camera and taken as many pictures of them as you could. Carried them to a Lawyers Office, and filed for separation ! Called the police and filed a restraining order on him and his girlfriend, so that neither one of them could have come close to you again !

    For a man to say he is sorry is one thing. But to prove it to you..........is another. You can give him another chance if you want. But just make sure you keep your eyes and ears open !

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    We are strangers, and we are not living your life for you, so this is not a decision that we can make for you, as you are the one who has to live with it day-to-day.

    I think you should consider the following:

    Does he seem sorry that he did it, and sorry that he hurt you, or just sorry that he was caught?

    Did he try to make excuses for what he did, such as blaming the girl, or blaming you? Or has he been quick to take the blame for his actions?

    Is he letting you express your feelings - such as hurt, anger, betrayal - rather than blowing you off and telling you it's no big deal or to just "get over it"?

    Is he willing to do whatever it takes to EARN your trust back, such as going to marriage counseling, giving you access to his schedule - at all hours - and giving you access to all his voicemail and email passwords, and cancelling lessons with any females, if that's what it takes for you to feel comfortable?

    My opinion... I think divorce is sad, but if that is what you choose - given that your husband broke his vow to you - that might be a more pleasant option for your child than for him/her to grow up with two parents who are constantly arguing. Just an idea. Only you can decide.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I'm so sorry. Your husband sounds like the world's biggest jackass. The fact that he would do this while you're pregnant and with a student makes it sound like he has no morals what-so-ever and will do this to you again and again. Do you want your baby to grow up thinking that it's ok to cheat on your wife like your husband did? You should leave now and not wait until he cheats again.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    my mom was never with my dad or if she was i was to young to know.

    i remember getting blood test and stuff. but over all I don't think it effected me much!

    I did want to met him when I turned 16 it's all i asked for I want to know my dad.

    my mom never really talked bad on him. but she never talked good.

    I met him he is the greatest man alive next to my man of course!

    he is sweet caring, I don't think he would of been a good example for me growing up tho. he drinks more than i would like.

    what all this has to do with you is this

    i'm glad the way things went I'm happy i got to meet him.

    so if you leave him and I hope you do just don't talk bad let him see the child you both can be GREAT parents without living together or messing things up!

    if he loved you he would share his passion with you not 19 YO girls

  • 1 decade ago

    If you want it to work, then both of you should make it work. If you want to leave, then leave now before the baby is born. What the baby does not know wont hurt hurt. And you can be good parents separately.

  • 1 decade ago

    lots of kids today grow up without their parents being together. that does not preclude both parents being involved in their lives, it simply means the parents do not live together. he cheated on you, most like has cheated before, and will again. saying he is sorry does not in any way shape or form resemble the apology you deserve, nor any indication that he intends to change and never do that to you again. two year olds say they are sorry. adults apoogize and atone.

  • 1 decade ago

    First of all you need to LEAVE HIM!!!! cause he obviously does not LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! and why would you apoligize to him he did sumtin and that wat i hte you sittin there apoligzing to ure hubby and he da one who cheated on YOU wit a 19 19 19 YEAR OLD GIRL!!! i wish someone didthat 2 me. I wouldve been 'on left'em. So you need to move on your child aint neva gonna kno why you guys got seperated till like 16 or 15 or 17 wen u should tell'm they will understand but dont tell them the age then they will hate their father so it is up to you if you this so i hope you will...... Wish you LUCK!!!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.