How do you react to ignorant / false comments in real life?
We know that most people around here are blunt & will flat out tell someone they are wrong.
It made me wonder, how do you react in "real life" situations? Have you ever corrected a stranger on their completely false understanding of something dog related? How did they react?
My example: I was at the feed store today & passed by the lead/collar section. I saw a girl pointing at a prong collar & saying "They actually make collars like this?? That is SO wrong. People who actually use those shouldn't own a dog".
I couldn't help myself, I had to throw my 2 cents in. I said "Actually they can be a really useful training tool is used properly. They've done wonders in my training work & have never harmed any of the dogs I've used them on."
I was nice I think... BUT the girl didn't like me "correcting her" (as she put it) & tried to argue with me.
I told her "Well, you're wrong sweetheart." & walked off.
What about you guys?
@Rather B Fishing: I don't think I was rude at all until she began raising her voice at me. It's no different than overhearing a conversation about dog food & saying "I've had a good/bad experience with that food"
No TDs from me guys!
- 1 decade agoBest Answer
With me, unfortunately, what you see is what you get. I respond in person just as I do here. There have been times I have elected to walk away, but this is a very rare occasion, as my husband will share with anyone who will listen.
The times I walk away are those times when I see a person is so totally messed up themselves, they are not going to understand what I am saying. And I am not trying to be facetious, nasty or earn a VN here but let's get real. There are people out there whose dog has more sense than they do. I do not really think they need a dog but I am concerned about their fate if they do not. Who will make the important decisions in their lives, like when to go to the bathroom and such?
Normally, I would probably have done the same thing you did with the girl. And I would have probably questioned her rearing when she turned and was offended that you "corrected" her. You did not correct her, but stated a fact that you saw she did not know. Some people are so fond of their own ideas they cannot hear reason.
I have pulled the car over before (with the entire family covering their heads I might add (except my daughter whose as outspoken as I am) and approached a complete stranger...in the case I recall right now it was a teenage boy who had a Pit on a choke collar. The dog was trying his best to understand what the idiot wanted and perform. But what the idiot wanted was an attack dog apparently...a deranged attack dog. He was beating the dog with a stick trying to make him growl and lunge. When the boy told me it was HIS dog, I got back in my car, called the sheriff's dept, and took the dog to safety that night. (After I explained to my daughter that even though we were at the park and on public property she could not shove that stick where the sun did not shine on the teenager.) I have approached people before and they have listened. In any case, I am what I am and I cannot change that. Even though my husband jokes a lot about it, I think he appreciates most times. :)
By the same token though, if someone wants to share something with me, I am open to listen. I have learned things this way. Sometimes it is wasted air, but we have to hear to decipher. As for the girl who thought you were "correcting" her: the way you made the statement was very polite and, in fact, both informative and true ... I would have come to the conclusion that she needed "correcting" a lot more than she had been exposed to since she was the one making a false statement an unwilling to listen. She did not have to agree with you, but neither did she have to act like you had just beat her poor undernourished brain.
Edit @ Greek: My husband has been whispering that under his breath for years now!
@Blue Bonnet: My groomer is WONDERFUL and has loads of knowledge. I love to talk with her and listen to her opinion. In your situation you see what the dogs are like and should be able to speak out, especially on matters of grooming. Anyone who continues to bring their dog in matted and in bad shape should have more than $5. added. You are too nice. I have watched and I know what it takes to do a good job on those dogs. I bet they raise mortal h3ll if they think you cut something wrong too, don't they? I have taken a dog in twice that had been too long without being groomed, because he had been sick and had been at the vet when his appt came up.. I expected to pay more. It was not the groomers fault, but I know she took at least an extra 30 minutes on that one dog because of the condition, and he was not in bad shape. But I have seen what they bring in.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
A co-worker was showing photos to another woman of her present dog, and the dog she currently wants. I didn't look, but I'm assuming it was a Chihuahua based on the comments of the woman looking at the photo. My co-worker said the dog was a "teacup". I looked over and wanted to get into the rant regarding the non-existence of "teacups" and that she already supported backyard breeding by purchasing the poorly bred Dachshund she owns right now. I refrained however. I didn't want to start an argument with a fellow employee, knowing that we already very much dislike each other, and it wouldn't be a pleasant conversation. She's the epitome of valley girl that buys into all of the nonsense, and wants to be a Paris Hilton mini.
Usually, given the right situation, I will say something. This instance wasn't great for a debate, and my supervisor certainly wouldn't appreciate the starting of an argument between two employees. However, I am pretty quick to correct someone, or state my opinion. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't ask for it. If everyone needed to ask for another persons opinion, we would have a world full of people holding back and would never progress.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think it was great of you to answer her adn show her a real understanding of the usage of the collar. People can be very close minded on many things, and anything in relation with dogs is definitely one of those things.
I tend to get a bit peeved when someone looks at my year and a half month old Staffy and assume he's vicious, especially when a comment is made by someone who obviously has no understanding of staffy dogs.
Whenever i get into one of those situations where a comment has been made i simply tell them straight out that my dog is a loving dog that although big is soppy as hell, acts like a complete attention seeking baby always wanting hugs and kisses and also loves meeting new people so much that he won't leave them alone, and bombards them with hugs or simply follows them everywhere, if they come into the house.
I like to try and give people a more open minded view and show them that it IS all about training that makes a dog the way it is and i think that you correcting that girl on her statement was a way of showing that to her.
- 1 decade ago
I will correct people if the comment is directed AT me or my dog. Or, as others have pointed out, if someone is having trouble deciding on collars/food or such in a petstore - ESPECIALLY if they are being completely led astray by the workers there who are spouting out their rear.....But I wouldnt be rude. I just explain what MIGHT help - if they listen, great. If they dont, their loss. No skin off my nose.
I corrected a woman on a train who made a snidey comment - I was standing by the doors with my dog sitting next to me. Her boyfriend smiled at my dog and made a comment about how "cute" he looked - His girlfriend looked at me and said "Cute now. Lets see how she copes when he's older...." and went off on how "kids" get puppies because of the "cute factor". I cleared my throat, looked at her pointedly and just said "Actually, he's two....NOT a puppy. And I'm (insert age) - NOT a kid, thank you". Her boyfriend did a very bad job of hiding his giggles as she blushed and turned away.....
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- Erica LynnLv 61 decade ago
I try to politely educate them and actually provide websites where they can go find the proof themselves. If they are willing to listen and ask questions, I'm happy to answer them. If they just want to argue, I generally just shake my head and walk away. Nothing can be done to teach someone who doesn't want to learn. The sad thing is that, while some ignorance hurts no one but the individual, some actually hurts others.
I had a woman who, without my permission, got in my foster puppy's face and was letting the pup jump all over her and lick her face. She asked the breed and I told her APBT. She absolutely freaked and told me to "put that thing down" because she was dangerous. What was she gonna do? Lick her to death? I tried to explain that not all APBT are fighting dogs and that Sara Beth had offered her no harm despite her grabbing her face without any warning. Unfortunately, she was not interested in listening and becoming rather animated which I was worried would end in her striking my pup. Nothing I could do other than walk away before she harmed a puppy that had done no harm to her. That pup has grown into a lovely four year old dog and has lived with a little girl, now five, for the past three years. So much for vicious. :)
- 1 decade ago
She is just not very "smart" about dogs. I personally don't use the pinch collars but I know that they have been tested and proven that dogs that wear the pinch collars have less throat problems than the ones that have just normal collars. Because the dogs with normal collars sometimes pull and that isn't good for them. I think you did the right thing. When I hear something that is wrong I usually just giggle a little about it after I walk away because I don't know how to tell someone in a nice way that they are wrong. But you did a good job telling her and I don't think that you said it in a bad way I think she was just embarassed of what she said.
- KarenLv 44 years ago
- 1 decade ago
I think you did the right thing. When people give me advice or answer a question for me I'm always listening and attentive unless they seem snotty or quick to judge. Sadly most other people have been told all their life that that's how something is and wonder who are you and why are you feeding me these lies? Others aren't like that they like to have a sense of their somewhat perfect and never wrong and when corrected usually feel embarrassed. This can lead to them just walking away, standing in shock, or just lashing out. Best thing to do isn't worry about them try to inform them of their mistake and if they're not willing to listen then they're not worth the time or breath.
- AbbyLv 54 years ago
I just state my truth. I tell them that I think they're wrong or say, "That was rude." I used to get mad. I would yell at them nearly at the top of my lungs because I had spent most of my life holding it in; letting people tell me what to think, how to feel. I only started speaking up when I was 16. Now I am 17 and now I just simply tell them that I disagree and that is all that needs to be said.
- SapienLv 71 decade ago
In real life, I will argue my points back. But I will do it in such a way, that I will be sure to remain calm and informative, rather than angry and emotional, to get my points through better. This is why I hate disagreements over writing - limited interaction! But usually, my approach to disagreeing in real life spares hurt feelings, so the person I am arguing with ends up listening to me, and if they aren't delusional, being open to my suggestions. It's better to appear non-threatening, and even let the other person feel like they have respect.
Just like in your example, there will always be people that are closed off like that. And with those, I too usually just lose interest and walk away before it gets wost. I find a lot of animal lovers can be heavily emotional, which can also make them insanely stubborn and closed to the opinions of others.
- ~Compétences~Lv 61 decade ago
It's really easy to go off online on a complete stranger. In real life in situations like this, I correct them or let it go, just depends on my mood that day and what they were saying.
I have corrected people saying "tea cup" yorkie when they seen my yorkie. They had shocked faces when I was done.
And when a child runs up to my dogs and tries to pet them without asking, I say, excuse me, sweetie, for your safety you need to ask to touch an unknown dog. Some left and some stayed and asked.
I had someone asked if they could use my male as a stud to their female yorkie, of course I replied no sorry and tried to walk off. They got mad, saying why the hell not? I can pay you up to $500 or pick of the litter. I replied, sorry, my dog is neutered. and they replied, are you flipping crazy? He's a purebred, you can make money! You are so damn stupid, girl for getting him neutered!
I replied, he's just pet quality....but hey thanks for the compliments on my dog! and walked off.
ETA :Lol, Launi, you are a very very "bad" person. Yeah I've gotten those means looks from parents/children that ran off. Though one time I had a dog with me that wasn't very good around children- he was okay but easily skittish if someone suddenly rushed up and started yelling "cute doggie" or suddenly rush out and pet. He was an abused dog and was getting rehabilitated.He never bit, not that I was fearfurl of that. He shook and was scared though. At the end though he turned out a well mannered, not a fraidy cat dog!Source(s): idc