please help!!!!!! please!!! i lied to my bestfriend and i dont know what to do! I'm sooo lost!! please read!?
My best friend went to a trip that the school organized around june, he asked me if i wanted to go but i said no. So he went by himself but well.. with another guy of my classroom. They didn't relate much anyways, and they were waaay different.
But after they came back, my best friend was changed... he acted differently and almost didn't wanted to talk to me.. just with the guy he went with the trip and i felt really bad about it, i didn't know what was going on. After some days he started to talk to me, but not as we did before, and i really felt bad about that and needed to know what was going on, so here its were i started making was is probably the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life..
I told him i met this girl and that she might be interested in him. but actually the girl doesn't exist.. i just created "her" so i could grow confidence with him from a different perspective and see if i could find out what he was feeling, because by the way, asked him a lot of times what was going on, why he changed, why he didn't talked to me and that i felt bad about it.. but he just made simple answers as if he wanted to ignore me..
So my best friend started talking to "her" by messenger.. and after some days i found out what was going on.. it was a deep problem and i have no idea why he didn't wanted to tell me. So my "other incarnation" helped him solve what he was feeling and we started again to talk and do everything as we did before. The "girl" its not supposed to live here in this country so i made her leave so that i didn't push this even more.. but.. i can't help myself... i really care about my friend a lot and i know that using this "other self" of mine i can know what things he thinks about stuff that a guy-friend would never ask him for example.. and it has become part of my life now... and the worst thing is that i think he is in love with her!!!
Guys i don't know what to do.. but please know that i did this because i wanted to know what was going on with my friend, i wanted to help him... but look at this hell of a mess now, i need help please, anything would help.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
It's wrong that you did this, but I completely understand why. You were desperate for information and you were worried. When my best friend and I became distant, I would ask other people to ask her questions like, "Ask her why she's mad at me" or "Ask her if she misses me". Everyone does it. When you can't confront the person personally, you take matters into your own hands. However, sometimes, we go too far.
I think you need to tell him. It sounds like it's eating away at you, and it sounds like you are very, very sorry. Now, first things first, if you DO tell him, he will be crushed and extremely angry at you. You need to accept that first before you do it. You can't really blame him, though. He trusts you as a friend, and what you did was low, sneaky, and mean. He is going to feel hurt and betrayed, and he may ignore you for sometime :(
Now, you need to think about how you're going to tell him. If you're scared to do it face to face, that's completely fine. I would suggest typing him a letter, and giving it to him. Tell him not to open it until he gets home, or until he is alone. In the letter, write down everything you told us. Tell him how much you missed him, why you did it, that you realize you were wrong, ask for forgiveness, and remind him that you still love him as a friend. At the end of the letter, ask him to call you (if he can find it in his heart to do so) or text you, that way you can know that he read it and understood it. Or, if you don't want to write a letter, you could just tell him face-to-face. You would do the exact same thing, tell him how you miss him, why you did it, etc.
Good luck with this. What you did was bad, but we all make terrible mistakes in life. At least you can learn from this, and it will let you grow as a person. Be prepared for some painful times, my friend, I'm sorry :( There's no telling how severely your friend could react. Please be strong during this situation. It's going to be tough, but you can always email me if you need someone to talk to. I went through a situation where I lied to a friend, and it was one of the worst things I've ever done. Luckily, I was able to learn from the situation. Hopefully you can, too.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
First things first, I hope you have learned your lesson, so NEVER do something like this again, especially not when it could break someone's heart)
There isn't an easy way to do this. She could just have to delete her account because of her parents or something? THIS IS IMPORTANT: DO NOT have the imaginary girl die! that would just crush him. And if she said she had found someone else, that would be pretty bad, too. Say that she had to delete the account.
And you probably also learned that through messenger you could fall in love with someone who is not who you think they are so be careful w/ ppl you have never met
PS just curious because I have friends I keep in touch with via internet in a few countries, but they are people I know that have moved away.
- 1 decade ago
that's really tough umm i do think you should tell your friend but im a girl so i really don't know how a guy would take it, girls normally just get mad for a week then make up but im not sure what he would do..... it is always better to be honest cuz if he finds out any other way u'll be way worse off but telling him could be bad too so yeah sorry i don't really know what to do but try to tell him the truth if at all possible.... GOOD LUCK!
- 1 decade ago
This is similar to a situation that was with me, as well. I didn't tell my friend the truth after, but it figures that he found out himself... I suggest that you tell him. I don't think that this helps really, though...
Can you answer my question...?