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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

Torn between average wedding and intimate weekend long wedding with a select few?

The last thing that i want is a cookie cutter wedding. In the last year I have attended almost a dozen weddings and honestly remember very few about any of them (open bar helped with that too!).

We could have a standard wedding at a country club at home with 75 guests. There are ways that I can make that unique so that its not to "cookie cutter". I would definitely have alot of limitations since our budget is far from large.

We have been having some issues with family members who we would like to exclude but wouldnt be able to if the wedding was easilly accessible. Of course this isnt the reason why we like my next idea, its just an added perk. Lately I have been thinking that I would like an intimate destinationish (like within a 3 hour drive) wedding with just 20 or so of our nearest and dearest. We could make it a weekend wedding. Spending $8000 seems worth it if 3 days of activities are involved. Not so much for 6 hours of eating and dancing.

Think I'll be disappointed when its all said and done if I do the intimate wedding? My fiance is open to anything, but I secretly think he would prefer the intimate weekend. What are your opinions?


Thanks for the advice but I dont really want to have to plan multiple events (outside of the weekend festivities). Great suggestion though.

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I say go for the intimate option - hands down!!

    My husband and I had a very intimate and romantic wedding in a garden together and we could NOT have been more happy with our decision! The BEST day of our lives!!

    What on earth would you regret about having your wedding with those that mean most to you in a beautiful location for the weekend???? ... not having people you dont really care for there? Thats no regret to me!!! Seems like you may be giving into pressure or what people are trying to say is the "norm".

    I get the feeling you really want the smaller option.. and I say GO FOR IT!!!

    Source(s): experience
  • 1 decade ago

    I was very close to having an intimate destination wedding. I was like you - I knew 100 percent I didn't want the same ole wedding everyone else had. I backed out of it because of my grandparents. They are elderly, and I knew they couldn't travel. I knew it would have crushed my grandmother's heart if she couldn't be at my wedding.

    Also, I had a few family members that were a bit put off that I was basically asking them to use their work vacation days for my wedding. I agreed with them somewhat, and didn't really feel right about it.

    I ended up having a wedding back home, but I made it special and unique by using things that were important to us as far as the decor, etc.

    You have to go with your heart - above is my experience with this; your mileage may vary. I'm totally not against destination weddings at all. No matter what you do, you will always wonder what if you had chosen the other option. I wonder all the time how it would have been if I had had an intimate destination wedding.

    Go with your heart :)

  • Here's a Reality Check for you, Hon....the ONLY people that truly remember the wedding in any detail are the bride & her mother....and maybe the MIL. Guests? Only if there's a brawl and someone looses teeth, or somebody gets sloshed and barfs all over the floor....or the fractious flower girl throws a temper tantrum....

    ...they will remember good food, good dance music....and how pretty the bride looks.

    The 'uniqueness' of any wedding is only important to the bride....the rest don't give a crap. You're getting married, not competing with all weddings that have occurred before yours. And unless you ride down the aisle on an elephant, your wedding will blend in with the memories of all other weddings they've been to as far as your guests are concerned reguardless of any effort you make in the 'unique' department.

    An intimate wedding cuts out people who want to be there....can you deal with the fallout? the uninvited talking smack about you? Only you can answer this.

  • 1 decade ago

    You have to follow your heart! If you feel you'll be disappointed or you're already doubting having a destination wedding, then you probably don't really want one.

    I can't give you much more advice beyond that. No one can. This is a very personal decision that you and your fiance have to discuss. This isn't a matter of money, time or travel. It's about what memories you want to create for yourself and how you want to remember and share this special moment with your loved ones.

    Everyone has a different vision of this. But, anytime something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. If the destination wedding doesn't feel right for any reason, then it probably isn't.

    Sit down with your fiance and talk about your ideas of your ideal wedding. Write down everything that comes to mind. So, people, places, colors, smells, food and other images. Only write the positives. Putting your vision onto paper might make the decision a lot clearer.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I want exactly the same thing and have exactly the same dilemma! Does it really matter to you what the extra 55 guests think about your wedding? Would they remember it at all or would it like you say be just ANOTHER wedding to attend? For those 20 invited it could be the best wedding they've ever been to and will remember it dearly. For you also, it would mean that you could be totally relaxed and at ease with every one of your guests rather than racing around trying to give your attention to each of the 75.

  • 1 decade ago

    i had a nice wedding with like 20 people and then a week later threw a massive BBQ dance party for a reception and invited everyone i left out of the wedding. maybe you could do something like that?

  • pazo
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Even nowadays ladies are introduced as much as suppose that if they do not get married then they're a failure. If you should not have the enormous white marriage ceremony and depart your self in debt then you could have by some means failed. I had been to weddings wherein the bride has contacted all her visitors to notify them what they are able to and can not put on and in addition a marriage ceremony wherein the most affordable factor at the reward record used to be over £30. People have to think again their lives and their courting in the event that they suppose anybody turning up in cream will smash the marriage ceremony. I realise short of to think precise. When I received married I desired a first-class get dressed and my household there, I received each and the fee of the entire marriage ceremony used to be not up to £one thousand. I pledged myself to my husband and my household received per week's excursion. No one used to be anticipated to pay for his or her possess beverages, I did not have a photographer and I nonetheless felt precise. I regularly think that the ladies that obsess over the little main points of their marriage ceremony accomplish that given that it approach they are able to forget about the disorders of their courting. Also such a lot of ladies seem to celebrities and spot them getting married inside six months and spot that as they approach ahead (in my opinion I don't have any thought why). The entire thought that a courting has a timetable you pass out for 6mths get married after 2yrs after which you could have a baby after a different 12 months. Women appear to seem at that and suppose what am I doing unsuitable. The quantity of strain I received to get married used to be incredible. I used to be with my hubby for 5 years earlier than marriage used to be even severely mentioned and by way of this factor we were residing in combination and had moved overseas so the connection used to be already critical. Now that we're married it has end up oh while do we be listening to the patter of tiny toes hmm. It drives me insane allow me development at my velocity! It is that this strain that provides to the divorce fee as ladies rush into a wedding so they don't seem to be left at the shelf after which it's the marriage ceremony day that turns into fundamental and no longer the connection. Maybe as a society we must be much less judgmental of ladies who've by no means married and extra supportive of ladies who say they've by no means met the proper guy. At least they don't seem to be making me pay £forty for a cup and saucer, £20 on instruct fare and £60 on a brand new hat; for a marriage ceremony day that inside 2 years I will ought to damage all momento's of, because the barsteward ran off with the marriage ceremony planner!

  • 1 decade ago

    me n my boyfriend were having this convo...he wants a standard, i want an intimate beach wedding with 6 people. i think im just gonna get him drunk n elope to vegas

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