I'm a big Pussy. How can I learn to be a man without joining the military?

I'm a shy 35 year old man whose never had a girlfriend and is afraid of confrontation. I'm big and strong from working out but a wimp inside and terrified to stand up for myself and tell people what I think. I've worked sissy office jobs my whole life and thought maybe if I joined the military it would... show more I'm a shy 35 year old man whose never had a girlfriend and is afraid of confrontation. I'm big and strong from working out but a wimp inside and terrified to stand up for myself and tell people what I think. I've worked sissy office jobs my whole life and thought maybe if I joined the military it would toughen me up and teach me to be a real man, but I'm too old and don't want to be in my 40s by the time I get out. I have no mechanical skills and I'm horrible at math, which means I can't join the trades or construction field. I feel completely hopeless and don't want to live my life alone anymore working these sissy jobs and getting drunk by myself at night. Any suggestions?
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