dark asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

Help Extremely SAD SAD SAD SAD?

hELLO EVRY ONE in a thirty smthing year woman and my father pasd away 6mnths ago I saw him die slwly from BONE CANCER and Ive heard all the healing stories and grief stories but thy have not helped me at all I feel sad,empty and cry out loud every chance I get when Im alone And yes Ive done the talking and evrything else but cant seem to let it go! HELP HELP HELP

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Hi,

    I have lost my dad too, in a way I feel what you are going through... I adored him so much, and the loss of someone that loves you unconditionally is very hard... I am sorry for what you have been through, but its ok to cry and feel sad after all six months is not long and what you are doing is better than keeping it locked up...

    I was so sad, but i remember that after a year passed I wrote a letter expressing how much I loved him and how much I missed him... I wrote all the nice things he used to do for me... how he felt when he saw me or how he helped me when I wan in trouble etc... I called it a tribute to my father...

    Let it out write whatever crosses your mind about him... You loved him and he loved you... I felt much better after the letter... but all I can say is that time heals... you have to be patient... and think of the good times you had together... and as time passes by the pain will ease...

    Dad passed away five years ago and to date I remember him every single day... but when I do there is this nice smile on my face...

    I am sorry for your loss but PLEASE be patient and step by step you will be better...

  • Power
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I wrote this poem on this site so go to the search for question space & put in the words They are daning in heaven tonight.....6 months is not a long time but everyone dies & if you can believe he just left his body it might help. I had a near death experience when I was 10 & it was more peaceful than anything I ever experienced since them. You just have to work through it. 10 years ago today my son was missing & still I think about it & those weeks before I found out he died. Do something to bring your energy to a higher level. I coach people & I can help you but this site alone isn't going to be able to do much for you. So if you want start coaching you could talk to me once a week & start letting go of your pain. I was in so much pain that it manifested physically & I was on meds. I went off of them 2 years ago thanks to a technique I learned to use. I think coaching would help you feel better & to heal cause only you are going to change. Nothing outside of you will change. You can learn how to be more peacefully & happy with your life still completely doing whatever it is that helps you feel connected to your father.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm very sorry to hear about your father. Losing a loved one is very tough, you've probably heard that line a million times. WHen my mom was losing her mother to pancreatic cancer I had to help her out a lot, I had to take shifts with her to help her out sometimes. I know hearing me talk about this isn't helping you with your situation because yours is different and how you deal with things is different. For my mom it took her awhile, longer than six monthes, to really start to come to terms with it. Even now we will think of her on occasions and still cry.

    What my mom did after she lost her mother was keeping herself busy, she indulged herself into her hobbies that she enjoyed, which are for her, painting and drawing. This was part of her healing process. She would also spend times talking about her feelings and even writing it down to relieve herself of the built in stress and sadness which overwhelmed her. Maybe starting up some hobbies which you enjoy and haven't been able to do for awhile would be helpful to you.

    I find that trying to think of the good memories that you had with the person is also very helpful, it's hard in your situation because you had to watch your father slowly die which is probably one of your most prominent memories. but trying to remember the good things and what he meant to you is important and also how he and everything going around you is making you a very very strong person.

    Nobody will have an answer for you in this situation because nobody can tell you how to feel better, they can only help you get there along the way.

    Talking to a doctor or a therapist can be very helpful too, they could help you find ways to feel a bit better and even just let you vent your feelings.

    I hope I helped a bit and I'm sorry if my writing is sortof jumbled together and not in proper format.

    Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Even just closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths and clearing your mind can help.

  • 1 decade ago

    I can understand your situation completely. I work in a place where I deal with loss almost daily, and it is never easy. Crying is a part of the healing process.

    You should try to find an activity to keep you busy, and it will give you a chance to get your mind off of the painful memories. Try volunteer work, or join a running group, or whatever it is you enjoy.

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  • drdr
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    WebMD depression health check:

    http://www.webmd.com/depression/default.htm

    Depression self-help

    For teens:

    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen_te...

    Depression self-help

    http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_tips.ht...

    National Mental Health Consumer Self-Help Clearinghouse

    (800) 553-4539

    www.mhselfhelp.org

    Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

    Weekdays 8:30 a.m. to 12:00 a.m. EST.

    (800) 789-2647

    http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/

    National Mental Health Association Hotline

    800-969-NMHA (6642)

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I am sympathetic because I lost my dad 13 years ago when I was 15 and it happened so suddenly without warning that I never even got to say goodbye. I take hope in my belief of paradise on earth. If my father and I should make it into there I will see him again for all the dead and those living who make it shall be reunited once again. I don't know where you stand spiritually, but it never hurts to pray to Jehovah. Pour your heart out to him-everything-what do you have to lose?

  • Cherie
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    The movie is called "Keith". It is an independent film and Jesse McCartney plays the lead. He is actually very good to my surprise. You can get it from block buster or netflix. It has a really sad ending. It is a sad love story. Don't watch the trailer though because it gives away the whole movie!

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm sorry sweetie, I know your pain. I lost my mother to the same cancer 10 yrs ago. I remember it as if it were yesterday. The pain never goes away; but as time goes by it becomes easier to live with. so cry cry your eyes out its good for you. eventually it will subside.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    How do you expect anyone here to help you? We can't undo what happened. You're just soliciting attention and you don't deserve to be rewarded with sympathy.

  • 1 decade ago

    go to a therapist

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