Playing with unrhymed meter...another take on sand......c/c?

the form is pantoum, but twisted to fit my poem. http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5786 I stood at a ravine and gazed across aware of dripping sand somewhere far off I thought of you, and dreams that I had lost these memories, like wind, blew through my thoughts aware of dripping sand somewhere... show more the form is pantoum, but twisted to fit my poem.
http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMI...

I stood at a ravine and gazed across
aware of dripping sand somewhere far off
I thought of you, and dreams that I had lost
these memories, like wind, blew through my thoughts

aware of dripping sand somewhere far off
the sand itself a mountain none can climb
when next those memories blew through my thoughts
I caught the wind, and trapped it in my mind

a mountain now, the dripping sand piles on
dreams I've lost, ravines, my memories
are thoughts that churn a faster blowing wind
the dripping sand, a mountain at my feet

my memories, ravines, my dreams, the wind
my thoughts a hurricane that spin and spin
the dripping sand a mountain I can't climb
the spinning wind expels - a hurricane

the dripping sand, a mountain, now a bridge
I stand at a ravine and gaze across
dreams blew, like the wind, across my mind
I caught them with the force of my own thoughts
Update: oopps..I dint use enjambment...the form isn't made for that. Thanks though. =)
Update 2: swing...yep...a dang enjamb did get in...i should change it? hmm.. k
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