promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted

How do I find other young gay men in San Francisco?

I've tried gay clubs and trust me, there is almost no young gay men. I'm 19 myself, and is looking for those that are around that age. People I've met are mostly 30-50. Its like talking to my dad and his friends...so not comforting. Any places I should check? Or is online dating the only way to meet up with guys? I've been meeting with someone but he's still closed, so its a bit irritating. And oh, another thing; is online dating safe? I've always heard bad BAD stuffs about it, care to give me some enlightenment, o,experienced ones?

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You're very fortunate to be in San Francisco. There are a lot of gay men there and the community is generally much more open than most of the rest of the nation.

    Online dating puts too much of an emphasis on looks, and it's hard to make a good first impression with a web page. Real dating is about more than looks. I've dated some physically beautiful men and I ended up with an overweight guy who is 7 years older than me. There are more important things than looks for settling down. Finding someone who is real and loving is something that's hard to do with online dating.

    Try to meet guys in settings that don't involve alcohol, late nights, and sex. All of those things can be fun, but they're distractions. In bars and clubs, young guys tend to insulate themselves with groups of friends and can be hard to get to know. People tend to seem arrogant and self-conscious in these settings, resulting in the "stand and model" syndrome that can be hard to penetrate. I met my husband at a meeting for the NGLTF (National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce), a gay rights group. We chatted while we were waiting to talk to the woman who gave the speech. Neutral settings like that can be a good way to meet people, because there's no pressure.

    If the people you have meet are mostly 30-50, you're going to bars/clubs that favor an older crowd. There are places that favor younger crowds, but young people are increasingly meeting online because they don't have to deal with the bother of turning away a lot of older guys. That being said, 30 is not old, and certainly not old enough to be your father, realistically.

    A 30 year old would have had to be 10 or 11 when he got your mom pregnant. When I was 30 college guys asked me what year I was, thinking I was around their age because like my mother, I look and feel young for my age. I still do at 33. Furthermore, pro tennis players are in outstanding physical shape and many of them are in their early 30s. Don't limit yourself too much. I dated guys who were older than me and younger than me, and it really comes down to the person more than the age. A 10-11 year age difference is a lot for a long-term relationship, though. Young guys can be childish to an older guy and older guys can seem too serious.

    Online dating is safe if you're careful. Meet people in a public place. Setting up a lunch or dinner date is one way to get to know someone. Don't be obnoxious and give the guy the 20 questions routine -- because that sends the message that you're not interested, but also ask enough questions to find out if the guy is shady. If a guy says he doesn't want to meet in public because he's in the closet, don't buy it. Eating lunch with someone is not like putting a neon sign above the table that says "GAY GUYS HERE". If he's not comfortable meeting you in public, given the way you said you are frustrated with the closeted guy you know, then find someone who is comfortable.

    Another thing that's important is to make sure you bring two condoms with you. You never know when things will move to the bedroom and you will want to be prepared. A second condom is a good idea in case the first breaks. Dealing with not having a condom during the heat of the moment can really kill the mood, so come prepared, no matter how unlikely you think it will be that you'll end up in the sack.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 years ago

    Gay Dating San Francisco

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    3 years ago

    Each time a individual thinks of San Francisco thinks at a giant Global Orange-coloured bridge, a park spanning more than 1,000 miles or even a town wherever modern art and tradition and if you're interested in that city then this is actually the place to start hotelbye . Among the points for what you must visit San Francisco is PIER 39. From remarkable views and a sea of sea lions to chowder bread servings and California wines, your visit to San Francisco begins at PIER 39. That place is the absolute most visited location in San Francisco. It offers two levels of food, entertainment, shopping and attractions, all surrounded by irresistible opinions of the town and the bay. Positioned across the historic San Francisco waterfront, PIER 39's spot offers the picture great background for postcard views of the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges, Alcatraz, Angel Island and the famous city skyline.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    RE:

    How do I find other young gay men in San Francisco?

    I've tried gay clubs and trust me, there is almost no young gay men. I'm 19 myself, and is looking for those that are around that age. People I've met are mostly 30-50. Its like talking to my dad and his friends...so not comforting. Any places I should check? Or is online dating the...

    Source(s): find young gay men san francisco: https://trimurl.im/i52/how-do-i-find-other-young-g...
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    ehh, I don't really think online dating is very safe tbh. If you do go that route though, only meet in really public places and don't go anywhere private with him until you get to know him well.

    There are definitely a ton of bars that have younger people in them- you're just ending up in the wrong ones,lol.

    Here are some bars that are supposed to have a mainly 20s crowd:

    Bar (on Castro)

    456 Castro St (at 18th), San Francisco, CA; www.thebarsf.com.

    and

    Jet

    2348 Market St. (at Castro), San Francisco, CA

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Hi Yogz:

    The post above by Justin A is right on the money. I would print it out & refer to it now & then. Internet arrangements rarely turn out well. Been there done that. It is too anonymous & almost like a fishing exhibition. Most of these guys lie through their teeth. Been there done that. They rarely turn up looking at all, like the pictures that they post or the age for that matter. I've been real lucky with the "Damron Men's Travel Guide" folks. They are in the city. Call them @415-255-0404 ?9am-5pm Mon-fri. They are very helpful It's refreshing to hear that you want to do it the right way. Good Luck

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 years ago

    a good time that being said, the Castro kinda sucks. It's mostly residentail with a few shops and some gay bars the rest of the city is fun I was there a re few years back, and there were plenty of Gay people all over, not just the Castro

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    how do you not find gay men in San Francisco?

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 3 years ago

    1

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    is this a serious question.....

    ITS SAN FRANSISCO!! GAY CAPITAL OF AMERICA!!

    geez...c'mon

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.