Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Intimidated by guys? Are guys intimidated by girls??? (10 pts)?

Intimidated by guys? Is this why I don't have guy friends or a boyfriend???(10 pts)?

Hi, I'm 18 and feel like I'm 12, I'm intimidated by guys so much to the point that whenever I talk to one I get super self conscious about my outside appearance. Afterwards I'll dart to the lady's room and check my mascara and foundation. Is it too much foundation, too cakey? ahhh chapped lips? It seems like or well at least to me that guys are sort of shallow when they are looking at a girl. They want their girlfriend to have a big chest, nice eye color, and tall, blonde etc.. I'm none of the above I'm small, dark hair, and brown eyed. I don't know how guys think because I have no guy friends at all. All girls none of them really have guy friends. I just can't bring myself to talk to one, I know they aren't aliens or anything, I'm just really scared because I know I'll never marry. Heck, I probably will never be asked out, I'm 18 guys only like girls with high self esteem. Please, how can I change, are guys intimidating as they seem (well to me).Thanks and God Bless:P

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    there are certain times where everyone is somehow intimidated by the opposite sex.

    There's no reason why you should be THAT afraid of boys though. They probably really like you, and you just need to like YOURSELF more.

    Start really focusing on who you are as a person, and don't worry about what you look like, heck you're probably MORE beautiful with no makeup at all, and shouldn't have to worry about all that nonsense.

    once you become more confident in yourself, and hold yourself at a high level, and ACCEPT who you are and what you look like, then it'll be easier to talk to guys, i promise.

    In the long run, you should start talking to guys, say hi to them. You don't need all the pressure of flirting and dating and crap on your shoulders, just get with a few of your friends, or by yourself, and just go say hi some guy. Like the guy next to you in class, next to you in the subway, etc.

    Stop saying "i can't" and start saying "i can".

    this is just like any other phobia, and you can get over it with some work.

    i wish you the best of luck : )

  • 1 decade ago

    i kinda know how you feel. i am a shy guy. if i meet someone for the first time, even if it with friends and the person is the friend of my friends, i have a really difficult time talking to them. guys or girls. i would guess that i am average looking, definitely nothing special. i am willing to guess that you could ask your girl friends what kind of guys they like. ask them. have them write it down or something without names, and see how their interests vary. i bet the answers will vary a lot. (as a guy, i don't know, but this is what i think.) guys are the same way. some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like big boobs, some don't really and are happy with anything. some like big butts, some don't. etc etc etc. every guy likes something different. the thing you are going to have to do is change your attitude. if you think you will never marry, you can ultimately influence your future and drive people who do like you away. accept who you are and how you look and become proud of it. if you tell yourself that you look good daily, you will eventually come to feel that you look good. there is someone for everyone out there, don't give up so soon. men and women have too many differences to list, but in the end, we are all humans. if you think of them as people, it might be easier. people make mistakes, nobody is perfect. everybody has their faults. take small steps. say hi to random people who you see, and work up from there. over time, you can change your mindset about guys being intimidating. stay positive, and remember, only you can change how you feel. if you want to change, you have to try and when it gets hard, keep going.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, guys are intimidated by girls. Some of them who are, succeed in acting like they aren't. And that is what you need to practice doing until it becomes a reality.

    Act like you couldn't care less what they think. (Not in a bitchy way, but just in an unconcerned way.( Pretend that you are perfectly happy just being you, whether your are single or not, until the day that you really are.)

    And by the way, small, dark and brown-eyed sounds very sexy. Big chested blondes are everywhere and usually aren't the brightest.

    One more thing to remember - your fear is a product of your thoughts. Consider the things you say to yourself whenever you're near a guy. Your inner monologue is creating the fear that you feel.

    The great thing about this problem is that you are in charge of your thoughts. All you have to do is change what you're saying to yourself. Practice this with the above advice about pretending that you feel completely unconcerned about what guys think about you. You'll be surprised to find out how well this works to attract them.

    Good luck, and have fun!

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmm I'm 17 and I never been on a date.But every girl is self conscious (inside &out) before they see that guy like or want to talk to. But it comes more natural for some people. Try going places that you like and comfortable in. Every guy is different so don't worry about what they want.Worry about being your self and have fun! Boys can be so much fun because they are so funny and talk about different things that girls talk about. I think guys are normally nicer then girls (of course there are lots of jerks out there) but forget about them. Try having talking to guys when a friend is with you so it can eae up the tension. You can compliment them (d you don't even have to flirt)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Be yourself. And you can have guy friends which could lead to a bf. Be youself, try and don't be scared of them. I am 19 and I amtiny dark hair and dark brown eyes. Dont think that guys only lik fror blondes and other stuff. There are plenty of guys that aren't like that. Hope this helps

  • 1 decade ago

    They're just people. You need to talk to them just like you are talking to a friend. It's ok to worry about your appearance, but to have it monopolize your thoughts may be a bit psychotic. Not all guys want girls with the features you described, so don't let that bother you. Can you practice talking to guy on myspace?

  • 4 years ago

    I don't find them intimidating at all. I'm personally attracted to tall guys but it really just depends on how the guy is not his height.

  • 1 decade ago

    from a guy's perspective, we don't necessarily only like girls for their looks. that's a bunch of 13 year old crap. guys with real personalities like girls that can be open and friendly. looks aren't everything because guys are into girls that actually have brains and like what they like. and, if you are hanging out with anti socials (thats your decision to make) try to find some friends with good morales and who have other guy friends, and watch the way they interact.

  • 1 decade ago

    Chill girl. Okay, I'm younger than you, 12 so who am I to give you advice? I'm intimidated by guys too. I try not to look at attractive guys because of that. I envy the girls who can be so natural around them. I know there are guys like that too. They're human after all, humans who have feelings and are consious of themselves (Even the emotionless ones. They act like normal people around friends). Look around on Yahoo Answers. There are guys asking questions because they don't know what to do with a girl he likes or they're wondering whether they look attractive or not. I know a few guys who are intimidated by girls too though maybe not to your extent. I really don't see why you are so intimidated about guys. Even the ones who aren't attractive? I'm quite comfortable around guys(until they start talking about sick stuff) because I'm not looking for relationships, I don't care how I look or what impression I make. When you're with the guys, you're one of them. Why are you so nervous around them? Guys don't really see the point. Just be yourself and treat them like your friends (though don't use too much girl talk on them, they wont understand it so dont talk about clothes, make-up, style and fashion as if you're obsessed with it) Don't worry about how you look. Yes, those guys who like blondes are really shallow. You don't want to date a shallow guy because they are stupid. I stay away from guys who like blondes because they talk about sick things too much. You won't like them as a bf so no use trying to please them. They're trash. Just keep on being yourself and be the way you're comfortable with. If you're uncomfortable it'll show in your actions and appearance. In a bad way. Just don't avoid guys like they're ET. You don't neccessarily need to approach them but just don't run away as if you're scared of them. It makes guys feel bad to be intimidating a girl. Just treat them like you treat your friends. They're really just humans. If you're don't seem intimidated by guys you'll be much easier to approach. I'm sure somebody likes you but is just too scared to ask. Maybe you'll get enough confidence to ask a guy out later on. If you can, I'll give you 3 cheers and a hi five. What a feat! I'm cheering for ya! Go get 'em girl!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i am too. i think some guys are intimidated by girls... i think it's cute when they are :)

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