I just dont think I can cope with TTC anymore....?

I honestly dont know what to do anymore... Im getting no where!

Its been such a long struggle.. nearly 2 years! Firstly my periods took 9months to regulate after coming off the pill, then I had regular periods (24-26 days) then over the last couple of months its been between 30 - 32 days. (not sure if its because I started exercising or no tho)

Ive had so many people fall pregnant around me... and to day! AF arrived and I got told my sister is pregnant again.. Im soo happy for her, I really am! But surely its my turn, surely I deserve some good news (not saying my sister dosnt) Also my partners best friends baby is due within the next couple of days and I have nothing apart from feeling miserable! my sister in law baby is nearly 6months and I was trying before she even started trying!

Honestly I have been so patient and kept my chin up and stayed positive but now i feel so drained!

I just dont think its meant to be yet.. i honestly feel like I can never conceive!

So has anyone got any tips to get me out this horrid mood, I need to be strong because I dont want to feel jelous towards my own sister!

Thanks girls and sorry for the lil moan xx


Thankyou girls.. and Kayleigh i remember you!! I cant believe how fast your pregnancy is going!!

But Ive had some tests done, and everything came back normal! He told me to come back after 12months as we are only counting the months I had regular periods as actualy months TTC! So il go back and see him in Jan! Hopefully it will happen soon! xxxx

31 Answers

  • Best Answer

    I can understand how tough this is for you.

    I believe you will conceive and that you are meant to have kids. Anyone who can show this level of devotion and persistence is meant to be a mother, and a wonderful one at that.

    You are so young and you have time on your side. Please go and see a R.E and get some advice. I am sure if there is anything holding you back it will be something tiny and easy to fix, so please go get proactive so you can have the baby you are so desperate to have. Use this moment as a turning point so that you never have to feel this way again. Be positive and hopeful and optimistic, and I am sure that with some effort and assistance you will get that baby you so long for.

    All the baby dust in the world, as always. Hugs xxxxxx

    Source(s): 17+3 with our little girl bub x
  • 1 decade ago

    Oh hun.

    I am so sorry for you. We must have started TTC around the same time? (December 2007 for me)

    It took me a fairly long time - Well it certainly felt like it, but I'm here now - I gave up because I couldn't take it anymore... That month I fell pregnant.

    I can only hope the same thing happens for you. You deserve this so much, and I just don't understand why it isn't happenening! You've had tests right? and they have said it's unexplained.

    The only way I can think of to comfort you - Is MummySarah pregnant with miracle #2 was TTC for 3 years, she also had unexplained infertility - but she is now 31 weeks pregnant. Laura, was told she would need IVF to have a child, but she is now naturally pregnant - and due in 2 weeks!

    Can they not try IUI or IVF? After all - You are entitled to a go on the NHS hun.

    I wish I could cheer you up - I really do. I might sound sad but I'm always checking up on you to see if you ever got that BFP. I just know you will get it. It's just a matter of when!

    I know I'm no longer TTC, but I was there not so long back, and I do remember how truly awful it felt. If there was anything I could do to help - I would.

    Email me if you want to talk - Even if it's nothing to do with babies :)

    Oh and it's totally normal to feel jealous towards your sister - just try and think of it this way - That WILL one day be you. It's not an IF - It's WHEN.

    Again.. I'm always here if you want to talk xxx

    EDIT - I don't know if you will recognise me with my username.. or if you remember who i am... my previous names were

    Harry's Mummy ... or Ruby was born an angel Jan 09 xx

  • I gave up too... and while I only TTC for a year it was a LOOOONG year... I can't image two :( :( But let me tell you- the very same month i stopped TTC (didnt chart or ANYTHING) i fell pregnant. I wasn't even thinking of a baby, because I set a new goal for myself and focused on an upcoming big event. I was so concerned with my upcoming event I completely ignored TTC and had given up. I still have no idea when I got pregnant- haha! I was also taking new herbal supplements to help my hormone levels and to straighten out my period. I was taking Saw Palmetto and Black Cohosh.

    I know that when people told me to forget about TTC while I was, i just couldn't i was obsessed. But once I found something to be excited about and to plan and prepare for- i was able to forget and put it off. As a matter of fact- I told myself I would wait to have kids and that now wasn't a good time and that i would try later. I was about to get on birth control and my doctor said i had to wait till the start of my next period... which never came.

    I know its tough, but hang in there :) If you can- go on a vacation and spend time planning and being busy with that. Forget TTC, i've heard it work for soooo many people!

    Good luck and lots of sticky baby dust! xx

    Source(s): 11 weeks pregnant after "giving up".
  • 1 decade ago

    Hi I know exactly how you feel and I feel like giving up too. I stupidly tested today 13dpo and got yet another BFN to add to the collection of disappointments and I seriously have convinced myself I am pregnant this month. I am sick of logging into facebook to see everyone pregnant or having babies who have been with their OH five minutes when I have been with mine 8 years and we waited for the right time with our careers secure, cars, nice home etc... is this the punishment for being sensible about the whole thing? I am due to go back to my consultant soon as I said I wanted to try a little longer naturally before I have a lap to see if my tubes are damaged. Unless you have experienced the frustration of TTC when you desperately want a child you can never know how depressed this can make you because NOTHING you do seems to work. I totally understand your pain and I am just glad my sister is not pregnant at the moment because I dont think I could handle that when I want it to be me so badly. I think your being strong. Good Luck with TTC and I hope you get your BFP sooner rather than later.

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  • Liss
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I understand your frustration. I just about 10 minutes ago got another negative test. I high really high hopes this time too. Hubby said I think your pregnant. I said how, he said well you were snoring last night, and I only snore when pregnant. So I had to get both our hopes high to only drag us both down. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I just lost my second at birth in May and my first born came early, luckily he was perfect.

    When we were trying for our daughter, we tried for 2 years. We gave up on the TTC and thew out the calenders, no more spending money on ovulation tests. And went about our normal sex life. Had sex when we wanted, how we wanted. Honestly our sex life was never better after we did that. I feel pregnant some time later in the year. We are again TTC but haven't spent a dime on any ovulation tests, I do have a calender but I don't know if it's right. I decided that if it was meant to be then it would happen. When trying it puts humongous pressure on the both of us. It just seems to be like when you stop trying and just go about a normal sex life it happens.

    Best of luck to you and lots of ****baby dust**** Maybe you'll get the BEST Christmas present ever, to get a positive pregnancy test. My wish is to give that to my husband this year.

  • Susan
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    My hubby and I have been TCC for about 1 1/2 years. Im currently going on round 4 of clomid. My hubby was tested and is fine. Go to the dr and get their opinion. I had bloodwork, an HSG(to make sure tubes are open and clear of debris or growths) and fertility drugs for 3 full months(working on four here in the next couple of days unless a miracle happens) The last appointment I had I was told I had symptoms of Polisystic Ovary Syndrome(lazy ovaries), but Clomid is a possible treatment for that to make the body ovulate. Im sorry im not sharing a success story, But im sharing an "I feel your pain" story. It has been a long hard 3-4 months for us. Emotions have their highs and lows. It is very hard to think that I'm the one preventing Pregnacy, but hopefully your partner is as supportive as mine, he'll never look at it that way, he'll just be supportive of whatever you choose to do. I was on the verge of giving up after the 3rd month, but I cant... Not yet. My husband and I decided we're going with the dr's plans until either A)it happens or B) the dr tells us he cant help us or detects something that makes it impossible. hang in there. It will be worth all the pain in the world when you get the news your going to be a mommy!

  • 1 decade ago

    sorry youre going through a difficult time concieving. have you been keeping a record of when youre ovulating if at all? as if your periods are getting more irregular there could be an ovulation problem, so maybe consider getting help and advice from your gp now its been 2 years they will offer help. i have pcos and whenever my periods are irregular its because i havent ovulated that month so thats what i generally go by although i know its different for everyone and i assume you dont have pcos. also if you stop trying for a baby and just let nature take its course many people fall pregnant quickly. its the stress and constant reminder that upsets people and stops them falling pregnant, so if you put it to the back of your mind and pretend its not an issue you might just get a surprise positive. when i fell pregnant with my daughter we were trying but i didnt think too much into it because i know stress always effects my ovulation and i knew it wouldnt happen, it was hard but i forced myself to forget about it and sure enough that month i got a positive. it can happen dont worry when the time is right you will get pregnant. good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh Pumps!

    Don't say that. I've been keeping an eye on your questions, and I just know you'll be announcing your BFP anytime. I'm lucky enough to be expecting again, but was told when I was 19 I wouldn't have kids. It was a long and tough 4 years before I had my first, but well worth the wait.

    And don't worry about feelings towards your sister; even though I have kids, I'm not married, but run my own business, and own my house. My sister got married, travelled round the world with her perfect husband, and owns a lovely cottage. My parents were delighted when she announced her pregnancy, but a bit indifferent when I announced mine. What I'm trying to say is, no matter the situation, it can feel an uphill struggle. But you'll peak someday soon, and though I know it'd be nice to be expecting when your sister is, if you don't conceive til after, then it'll be you, and no one else in the limelight!

    Keep smiling, I really do feel for you, and remember feeling just as you do now, but it won't be long til it's your turn- every day that passes is a day closer to you being pregnant.

    Have my fingers and toes crossed for you, and just know we'll see you in the pregnancy section soon.


  • 1 decade ago

    I know how you feel. I had been trying for a year and had two miscarriages when my sister in law got pregnant her first month trying! Her baby is 8 months old now, and I have no doubt she'll be announcing another pregnancy soon. And all I can seem to do is miscarry one after another, over and over again.

    The best advice I can give is just imagine when you do have a kid. I know it seems unattainable at this point, but it's not.

    Kids require patience. For us unlucky few that patience starts before even conceiving them. Just remember, you're working towards the most important thing in your life. This will be your biggest life's accomplishment.

    We're all working on our baby making degrees, hopefully it doesn't take any of us as long as a university degree, and luckily baby making is far more fun than writing exams.

    I think about birth, I think about breast feeding. I think about being able to one day explain to my child how much I wanted them, what I went through for them, all the pain, medications, doctor appointments, tests. I want to explain to my kid just how much I fought to have them, just how much I loved even the thought of them.

    Consider starting a "trying to conceive" journal. Write to your future children about your frustrations, and what you're going though.

    I find so many women with fertility issues completely forget what the actual goal of it all is, and that it will happen eventually for all of us in some way or another.

  • 1 decade ago

    Im in the exact same situation... Every where i look someones pregnant or has just had a baby. Its all around me atm as 2 people in the family are pregnant.

    Just keep smiling, the only thing that keeps me going is when all the fuss as died down after there newborn (i no it sounds mean but i hope u get where im coming from) it me our turn.

    Pointless worrying about things you cant force to happen, it'll happen with abit of patience and when you stop worrying about it.

    My fiancees auntie has to become pregnanct after so many operations, and they told her she'd never have a baby, now shes 5months and everythings perfectly healthy!

    Good Luck relax and enjoy trying to make a baby instead of worrying about it.

    Lots and lots of baby dust for both of us =)

    Dont give up though you've come this far, and it'll never happen giving up!!!

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