The truth is, everyone suffers. The baby never had a chance to experience the love of God before moving on to Paradise. It never felt any of the pleasures and wonders that God has placed on Earth for us. The baby is the innocent 3rd party. He had no choice in the matter, so that would be considered as the least liable of being killed, so the baby therefore, will suffer. In terms of the most tangible loss, the baby suffers the most. The mother will always have the regret of having sex when or with someone she shouldn't have. There will always be that thought in the back of her mind that she could have her own son or daughter walking around the Earth, sharing life with her, and she had to rip his life away. In the sense of the most pain, the mother suffers the most. The father is to be most at fault for anything that happened. He knows that he never has to stick around for that birth. He doesn't have any part in it. Besides, people say that women become mothers the minute they know they're pregnant. Men don't become fathers until they hold the newborn baby in his arms. The father has the least emotional connection with the child, and so he doesn't feel like he's suffering much at all. In terms of blame and spirituality, the father suffers the most. Arguments could go toward any case, and there is not a for sure answer to your question, I'm afraid, other than the mother will FEEL like she is suffering the worst.