Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

if someone lied to you, deliberately deceives you, do you forgive them?how do you get even?

I met this guy for about 2 years and we kinda connected, he said he loves me and ditto too. We always have fun when we are together, even got to meet and hang out with each others friends. But i found out he was seeing another girl behind my back and is telling her the same stuff as he did to me. When i confronted him about it, he says he's sorry and promised to make it up to me so i thought everything was fine, coz it seems we got connected again. Up until recently i just found out HE IS STILL DOING IT! he willingly deceives me. I dont know if i should confront him again or what? i dont know...part of me wants to really talked it out with him and see whats wrong when everything is going great between us and forgive the 2nd time, but, part of me wants to get even also, what should i do???? help please! Oh and he doesnt know i know this 2nd time around

11 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, and smarter!!

  • Lila
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Ok first of all getting even only starts childish games, and he will do it back to you, then you will do it again, and so on it becomes a cycle. Trust me I know Jesus and he always gets even when the time is right. Second, if he did it once, and now he is doing it again and said he was sorry the first time, this guy is an obvious player, and will always be. So if you want to share your man for the rest of your life with whom ever he wants to date on the side of you, then whatever. If you don't want to share your man, then you need to just break it off with him, the other girl probably has no clue that you exist, so don't be like other girls and blame her, you need to blame him. Just tell him you found out about his little games again, and that you are through. Tell him you are worth more than how he is treating you and you don't deserve to be cheated on. And leave it at that, move on and never talk to him again. Make sure you make a grand exit when you say your final sentence, don't do this over the phone, the best thing to do would be to say all of this when you go out to dinner, and say everything after you order, before the food comes, then leave, so he is stuck with the bill and two plates with no company. Ok I admit this is sort of getting him back, but not in an evil way.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, it doesn't sound like he lied... decieved yes, but lied - no.

    Did you ever have the exclusive talk? Because, if not, you're not his girlfriend and he can see whoever he wants. As can you...

    Also, when you confronted him he said "he was sorry and promised to make it up to you" He didn't say "I'm sorry I won't do it again".

    You need to have the exclusive conversation. He will either say no... in which case you will stop wasting your time. Or he will say yes, and if he continues to see other people, you have every right to dump him and seek revenge.

    If you really want to get revenge now, just make plans with him and then break them last minute to go out with someone else. Make sure you go somewhere he will see you. He should get the point!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Getting even is childish. And don't confront him again because you did it the first time and nothing happened so what makes you think that it's going to change this time. He is obviously playing with the both of you, I would tell him to screw off and move on. Forget that he ever existed and take some time to yourself and then put yourself out there for other guys. Forget him, he isn't worth it. Don't forgive him.

    I wish you the best of luck !

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  • 1 decade ago

    Want my advise?? Here is comes. Your boyfriend`s behavior sounds like that of my ex,my ex boyfriend cheated on me a number of times and whenever i confronted him he would deny and then after seeing that i was about to dump him,he would apologize with tears.Promising me to change,i gave him chances but he never changed till i lost trust in him and left.The truth is even if you confront him he will tell you the same things that he loves you and that he is sorry.He is the kind of guy that cant commit,he loves you but he cant keep up to you alone.And of course you don't want this,get a life.Move on,you don't need him at all,he is a cheater.You can confront him,but trust me he will be sorry as usual,not wanting to lose you but you are better off without him.

  • 1 decade ago

    Girls always go back ! why is that ? You found out he was seeing someone else and he says some bullshit and you take him back . WRONG !!

    Leave him now , dont confront him and go psycho , dont set his house on fire , dont get with his mates (unless their hott , hay why not) dont confront the girl and tell her to back off , just get over it and move on . He played you twice because you let him ! Yeah he's an asshole but you're a sucker . I may sound like a ***** but its true . lol

    You deserve wayy better and you shouldnt let this prick fool you again . I guess if you really wanna get him back find someone way better !

    Dont talk it out because it might just drive you back and you're better the that :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Don't try to get even. Be the more mature person. Just make the other girl aware of the situation and walk away from this guy for good.

  • 1 decade ago

    i kinda like Shannon's idea...way to go girl!

    Eventhough some posters here say revenge is childish but sometimes, u gotta teach a guy like this A LESSON!

    becoz they think the can get away.

    Just do it subtly like Shannon suggested..

  • 1 decade ago

    A cheater will always be a cheater. Dump his face and make sure you do it when you look your best. That way..he will see what he lost for the very last time. Your heart may be broken, but in time it will heal. trust me... all you need is time. Be strong and you wont fall again to one of his traps.

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    he is a player and he played you. not his fault you allowed it.plenty of ways to get revenge

  • 1 decade ago

    he's not worth your time. bin'um. nicer guys out there, somewhere..

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