? asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Help? I want to kill myself?

I'm Brianna.

Yeah, I should tell you my story.

I need someone to understand what I'm going through.

I'm 15. My life in unfair. My family is dysfunctional. They're druggies, drinkers, smokers, and my parents are constantly at eachother. They're seperated, I was the result of a one night stand between my parents. I'm totally ignored by both my mother and father, I honestly think they just don't want me around.

I may have a best friend, Kayla, who sticks by me no matter what, but she has her own troubles at the moment and I can't burden her with my troubles.

I have zero self esteem. I'm completely convinced that I'm undescribably ugly.

I lost my virginity at 13 to my first boyfriend, Sean. I thought I was in love with him, until he cheated on me, twice.

My second boyfriend, Harrison, pretty much just used me for sex.

My current boyfriend, Brenden James (BJ) doesn't understand me. I can't break up with him cause he says that if I do, he's gonna kill or hurt himself.

I feel like a total whore.

My mother's boyfriend bashed her a few months ago. He spent some time in jail but now he's back home with my mother & me. I'm scared to death that he'll hurt us again. My mother doesn't need this. She's too vulnerable.

I may be smart, but I'm failing school. I can't concentrate anymore. I feel so bad cause I feel like I'll end up having no future.

And to top it all off, one of my friends Troy says that he's gonna take his own life, and I can't stand losing him, I'd just rather go with him

I have no hope anymore. i do know that suicide isn't the answer, but my depression is overcoming me and I feel like I have no choice.

Can someone please help me?

I'm scared that I'm gonna go through with it....

Here's a picture of me..

Am I really as ugly as I think I am?

http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=Y%2FhLISduVV4D...

http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=Y%2FhLISduVV41...

http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=Y%2FhLISduVV6i...

http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=Y%2FhLISduVV4d...

Please help me :(

I'm losing hope...

32 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    you are beautiful...don't kill yourself

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi Brianna, I'm Amanda ;)

    You are young and gorgeous, you have your entire future ahead of you. You definitely need to talk to an adult such as a school counsellor, a nurse or doctor (anything you tell them is confidential and only between the two of you). It is good that you have a friend who sticks by you no matter what and you two should talk about your issues and support each other the best you can. If you are thinking of ending your life, that is a terrible mistake, you are much to young and pretty to do such a thing. Please talk to someone who has the means to help you, don't you want a family of your own one day? Things get better with age, once you get out on your own and become independent you really find yourself. You know how you feel about your friend that says he is going to commit suicide while imagine how your friends and family would suffer if you did that. Just think positively and talk to a counsellor or even a social worker to help you get out of the situation you are in. Life is precious and so are you. If you want to talk you can email me at minniemouse434@yahoo.com

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You're beautiful Brianna. Life can be unfair but it always gets better, I promise you. You are SO young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You can break up with your boyfriend. You can not let him guilt trip you into staying with him, it isn't right, and chances are he is all talk and will do nothing. You deserve someone a lot better than him... but if you don't stick around you will never find that person. Talk to Troy... you can both be in this together, both try to help each other. Suicide is not the way to go. You know... life sucks as a teenager, most of us can relate, most of us know how it feels to want to die. I know I do. So many people feel like this as a teenager, and so many people also make it though. Remember that. When i feel like that I just think about how sad people will be. How selfish it would be for me to kill myself. I need to hang on for their sake, and in the end it will be worth it. I want to get married someday... have a family... don't you? You have so much to look forward to Brianna.. teen years are just really hard.. but it does not last forever and even in the midst of all this there can be some really great moments. it's going to be okay. you can email me, message me on yahoo messenger, anything. i will always be here to help you and I'm sure the other people who answered this are with me in that...

    email: joshyboyhanes86@yahoo.com

    messenger: joshyboyhanes86

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't lose hope! this situation your in is really terrible! You need to talk to someone immediatley!!! If you feel you can't confide in your mom or any of your friends speak to the school nurse or a counselor. Suicide isn't the answer even though it may sound appealing because you don't have to worry for feel this way anymore if you carry it out. And even though you feel you can't confide in your mom tell her that your scared! let her know exactly why your scared and how your feeling. If you can't tell her in person, write her a letter that she will only find. If she doesn't do anything in that situation you need to tell another adult. This is very serious! You shouldn't have to feel afraid in your own house. As for you being ugly, Esteem is not measured on beauty it really isn't and I know that probably sounds stupid. Because at your age everyone is always worried how they look. esteem is measured on how you feel and you think your worth something. Getting validation from others telling you your not ugly is not the right way to feel something because people can lie. It's hard to look in the mirror and say im worth something. But thats what you have to do! What is going on in your mothers life doesn't have to be a reflection on you! If people tell you your ugly and your not worth something try your hardest to make only your opinion count about yourself thats the only one that should matter. because no one is your shoes but you and no one can make you feel anything except for you. You have more power than you think! This is your life no one elses. I wish you luck!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, killing yourself is NOT the answer. There are many people who care about you. Just look at all the people who have responded to your question! As far as your troubles at home you need to get in touch with a social worker who could advise you on what to do. Although Troy is a good friend of yours.....he has no right putting that burden on you. You are not responsible for anyone else in life but yourself. You are a beautiful girl, but its inside what counts. You need counseling from a qualified professional and you need it quick. Make an appointment with your doctor and share your feelings with him/her. They will guide you in the right direction. You said your parents are using drugs and drinking.....you've already shown that you are a stronger person than most by not getting involved with that crap....it would only make things worse for you. Do not lose hope....there is help out there and you will feel better about yourself once you get it. Anyone that just wants sex from you is not good enough for you. That doesn't mean they care, they're just horney!!!!! Stay away from guys like that. Take care of yourself first then things will fall into place for you. Please get help.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I almost died a few times when I was young... I'm an oldster now (53, man)

    Life does get better as you get older. I'm very happy to be alive now.

    I think you're quite beautiful... Looked at your pics.

    You'll be 16 soon, then 18 and can choose any life you want...

    Join the Navy and become a medic... You'll be a thousand miles away from the life you live now in the blink of an eye.

    Or perhaps you'll find a good man your age who will take you away and love you like you never thought possible!

    If you die today, you'll never know...

    One day at a time... That's the way to do it.

    One day at a time... Till things change. (and they will!)

  • 1 decade ago

    I have been in the same situation as far as wanting to kill myself, I am now 35, I made it, you can also. I have a family of my own and learned from my parents mistakes instead of following them. You are not ugly but the blue hair is way too much. I didn't think schools still allowed that. See if your school has a program or talk to the counselor. YOU CAN MAKE IT!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hey, I've read your entire post. Please don't lose hope. I know that life seems unfair and really horrible, but I think it's best that you know that I've felt that way before also. Life is full of many challenges and struggles but when you overcome them, you become a leader. What you need to do is stand up and help your friends because when you help them, you will feel better about yourself and people will love you for it. Don't be afraid to tell someone what you think. Maybe it will open up their eyes and make them realize someone cares for them, just like I'm sure people care about you. Look....I'm just some random guy on the internet and I care... There ARE people who care about you whether they know you or not. Good Luck and God Bless you!

  • 1 decade ago

    no homos but you are a beautiful girl and i think that you should be confident as for the family get to really know them. there is probably a good reason they just let go of life. and really get to know a boy before you go out with him. and if you find out a guy cheated on you just tell him in a respectable way (you dont want him to come after you) tell him that it is over. take some recovery time and go back out there and show the world i am a beautiful girl waiting for my prince charming and he will find you. and i LOVE the blue hair. from a 10 year old girls prespective.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your looks won't matter if you have no self-esteem. They also won't get you anywhere in life if you have no goals. Regardless of what anyone else says, only you determine how you feel about your looks. It's time to talk with an adult in a position to help you: doctor, clergy, school counselor. Until you get the help you need, you may find yourself in the same position day after day.

  • 1 decade ago

    Check yourself into a suicide clinic or the hot line in your area. In terms of your relationships, your boyfriend seems really unstable if he's threatening to kill himself too, you should be around people who will listen and are supportive You are a good looking girl and have a lot to live for.

    You have an opportunity to succeed in life and find happiness in spite of your family problems. You need to get of that house.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.