Pregnant, husband want baby to be Muslim and I'm Christian?

My husband and I are having a baby, but we're from two different religious backgrounds. I'm Christian and he's Muslim. When we got in our relationship we fell in love fast and moved really fast. So we always danced around the topic of what religion our child would be.

Last night we got on the topic and he is being so selfish he wants out child to be Muslim no if ands or buts about it and I'm sooo sad. But I told him I was willing to allow our child to understand both religions. He is originally from Africa, but I mean here in America it's mostly Christians I don't want our child to grow up and wonder, why don't I celebrate Christmas or Easter. I feel soooo lost. Because I don't want to end our marriage becauseI love him to death but I feel like he is being selfish and not understanding. It's like his attitude is so nonchalant. I've been crying allll morning and at this point I don't know what to do. I know it's our fault for not having this conversation before I got pregnant. Does anyone have any advice or been through something like this. Please. I'm sooo down and stressed I'm scared I'm going to miscarry

14 Answers

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  • Dawn
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    He needs to be more reasonable. Esspecially sense he knows your not his religion. What I would suggest is talking about either exposing your child to both religions and letting the child sorta pick it's own religion when he/she is old enough to understand both. You don't have to be exposed to a religion at a young age to appreciate it and worship it. You have just as big of a say in this as he does. Don't let him push you around.

  • 1 decade ago

    He's being incredibly selfish and unreasonable. Try sitting him down and explaining what you told us. If he's not willing to listen, you may want to have this conversation with a marriage counselor since it IS affecting your relationship. My honest opinion is that the child should be allowed to observe both religions equally. When the child is old enough, s/he can decide which religion is right on his/her own. This is how my husband and I are doing things. He's Christian but I am atheist. Neither of us want to push Emily one way or the other so we'll explain our views when she wants us to and can make her own choice whenever she is ready. We don't even care if she decides to pick something else entirely different as this is HER spiritual choice, not ours. Any way about it, she can still enjoy the fun parts of Christmas and Easter that have little or nothing to do with religion like finding the eggs. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    This is a VERY difficult place to be in. I actually had to end a relationship to a man I truely loved with all my heart over this issue...luckily we weren't married or considering having children. You are in a very difficult place and you need to make sure your husband understands that your faith is as important to you as his is to him and that your child is made of both of you and therefore, like it or not, he is going to have to allow your child to learn both religions. Muslim men in particular can be very ahrd to deal with especially on issues like this because they grew up in a culture where what the man says gos and so he has said it and so it shall be, but you are a woman living in America and you have to find your voice and make it known. This may cause your marriage to end, but you have to stand up for what you believe as well otherwise you might as well just become a muslim, because if you don't stand up for Christianity, then you can't claim it's your faith. Sorry. It's a hard place to be. I wihs you all the luck in the world!

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, there are certain things to consider. 1) I would compromise and let him/her know BOTH religions. ---I say this because if it is a girl...Muslim women are treated like property (not by all men, but enough where there are Honor killings, rapes, etc all of this can be verified by Muslimwomen.org I think was the website 2) in today's society most Muslims are feared (I am NOT saying this is right, but it is the stigma today with everything going on in the news etc) Also, he should realize it is YOUR child as well and to force a particular religion on your child is wrong.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    do a compromise my friend is in this boat she has her child learn

    to eat

    muslim food sharon uses this site

    www.umah.net/family/recipes

    he could help with enjoy your festivities in the best possible manner

    muslims stand for society where the rights of all individuals are not only tolerated but respected and protected

    Sharon has her child learn Pangalay dancing

    and buy clothes that don't have logos

    and sharon takes her child to church and lets her husband teach their child any religious beliefs and as the amy grows up she learns of both worlds

    she knows arabic and english

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to relax and be patient. See, there are thousands of Muslim kids in America who don't celebrate these holidays but are yet happy; they have lots of friends, are very patriotic and they grow up to be successful as well.

    However, you must not worry yourself with these things right now. Maybe a few years later. Right now, you should be happy you and you're husband are having a KID! Woohoo!

    Source(s): Muslim.
  • I'm Muslim. A Muslim man can only marry a non-Muslim woman IF the child is raised Muslim. Actually people of the book doesn't even apply today. Islam teaches that everyone is born Muslim. If the father is Muslim he has a duty to raise his child Muslim, otherwise he will be punished by God on the Day of Judgment. Children take the religion of the father, NOT the mother unless you are Jewish. He is not being selfish, he is doing what God orders for Muslim men, to raise their children Muslim and guide their children on the straight path which is Islam.

    • Kristen5 years agoReport

      That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Pope Francis said he got his religion from his mother, so the christian faith can also pass matrilinealy.

  • 1 decade ago

    thats a tough one, my family is mainly christian but i do have muslims in my family. my mom did not talk about religion when I was growing up. We celebrated holidays such as christmas sometimes. my mom was around more than my dad, so we did participate in things related more to the christian way, but my mom always gave me the choice of my religion.

  • 1 decade ago

    Teach him or her the two religions and let him/her choose the religion after growing up. I know a lot of families who do that and they are happy.

  • 1 decade ago

    don't be upset and don't cry, you'll just hurt the baby.

    teach him or her the two religions and let him/her choose the religion after growing up. thats the best thing you can do. everything will work out don't worry.

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