Lv 7
. asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

9 Fay's Talk Show starring Fay Koprah c/c?

A small group sits at the back table of Yidiot's Coffee House and Bait Shop. No one would guess they weren't just ordinary customers having an espresso and friendly conversation. At the next table Ronnie and HP had dumped out the container and were counting maggots. The last two times they'd gotten them from Yid, they'd been short-changed by several maggots. It would not happen again, and they were spreading the word... Yidiot was another that had to be watched...

In the kitchen Yid was arguing with Chef Carrol, trying to force him to re-use the old coffee grounds. "They won't know the difference!" he yelled, "And I'm in business to make a profit!" The chef held his grounds...er, ground.

Baby Blues Rocks shifted her skirt and straightened the seam in her stocking - and act not unnoticed by the town reprobate and horny dude, Angus, who was gluing a tiny mirror to the toe of his shoe. (A trick he learned in grade school.) He smiled to himself thinking, "Finally, women are wearing skirts again!"

MtheoryRules was alone at another table, yet again completing the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle in record time. The door opened and Shultzie, in full uniform as usual, goosestepped up to the bar, his saxophone inadvertently banging into Dondi's head. "Hey!" Dondi yelled, rubbing the newest saxophone-caused bump on the back of his head. Shultzie appologized profusely, as was his habit, took a seat and ordered a hyssop tea. Dondi thought to himself, "I don't know if I trust Shultzie anymore; maybe it's his peculiar accent." Debra was next to enter. She grinned, tipped her hat and hollared, "Yahoo! How's about a Mountain Dew for this here cowgirl?" Yidiot, hearing Debra, grabbed a can out of the cooler; he wanted to wait on her, say something clever so she might see him as more than a fr... His thought was interrupted by gas. Debra, unknowingly, had dodged a bullet.

Back at Harpok Yaf Studios the writers were arguing over who would be the one to pick up lunch, who would be the one to tell Fay they'd seen Studman kissing Hiram and who would be the one to come up with a reasonably good idea for the show. They were blocked. If only some of the potato salad had been saved... If only.

Stay tuned. I'll return after this lengthy commercial or sooner if I get some idea what's going to happen...today.


Fay - (she's still giddy from Studman's kiss - there was something about it that left her weak-kneed and hor..never mind, it's a family show) We have a special treat today! We are having a BLUES theme! (french horn music from back stage) Our guests today will be Baby Blues Guy, Bluebell Got Spanked and Baby Blues Rocks! (a familiar giggle is heard from the audience; it is a giggle that sends chills throught mo...)

We interrupt this program for a special message from the President (cough) of MSNBC...cough...about the Swine Flu)

Update 2:

(the program returns with Fay mid-sentence)

Fay - ...nd she didn't mind you putting it there?

Baby Blues Guy - Not after she saw all the attention she got. People would drive by her house, beep their horns, call her at all hours day and night...

Fay - Baby Blues Rocks, you weren't at all shy of the attention it got you?

BBR _ Well, Fay, I really didn't want my poem published on the society page, but BBGuy insisted - and it turned out he was wiser than I thought. Heh heh.

Fay - Bluebell, it's your turn at the plate, Dear. What would you like to say, Sweetie?

Bluebell - Uh, that guy playing the horn, Fay?

Fay - That's our darling Shultzie, Bluebell!

Bluebell - Whatevah; the *&%$$## stole all the Twinkies outta the Green Room then hit some guy in the back of the head with his saxophone!

(from back stage) IT'S A FRENCH HORN!

Update 3:

Back at Yidiot's Coffee House & Bait Shop, the group at the back table had finished their plans. The blonde checked her watch and said, "We'd better hurry; the show is ending about now - and Sandy is waiting for us." The man at a nearby table, the one reading a newspaper, waited until they left and then retrieved a small microphone from the centerpiece of the newly vacated table. "This is why I get paid the big bucks," Sparky smiled to himself.

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    ROFLMAO! Skirts again!. hahaha. And Yahoo Mountain Dew! Priceless.

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  • 1 decade ago

    O M G

    this is to much

    my kids think I am nuts, laughing and crying at the same time...

    Happy Hiram kissing studman---OH NO!!!!!!

    Dondi got a bump on his head, for sure a sonnet will flow out soon...

    Shultzie with a saxophone, I think I'm in love...

    [sax, french horn, whatever, I still think I am in love...]

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  • ...well, I didn't do it and Angus is creeping me out.. I caught that look and I am moving inconspicuously as far away as I can....I bump into a guy wearing a green toque... uh oh.. trouble! he has his hands both clutched on a thick hunk of sausage, blushing I slip on by and join Ronnie and HP at the table, picking a maggot off the chair before I sit

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  • Rachel
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I protest~~ I sat not with suspect Bayard Lady. I was merely out of site, uh uh talking, yes that was it, talking with a poet... And one I might add who would not leap out a window at the first sight of suggested danger. Humpff...

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  • 1 decade ago

    yuk, counting maggots - this send shivers up and down my spine, the coffee don't sound much cop either! Hope them maggots don't end up in the coffee --wired in for next episode.....(lol) - you are a funny girl BG

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  • 1 decade ago

    Uh oh!!!!

    (quickly starts shredding documents

    and establishing an alibi)

    I was no where near there! I swear it!

    >>>near where?

    It doesn't matter, it weren't me I tell ya. I'm innocent.

    >>>so why are you sweating so much?

    It's these tight clothes. Squeezing my poor orblets.

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  • Daisy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I was already rolled to the floor gut chuckle loud not even through the first para....oh you no-holds-barred she-devil !!! ROFLMAO

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  • Mizzy
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Keep em coming BG!

    This is a hoot!

    And now we know why the call Angus twinkles toes....


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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    "Yeah, sorry about the potato salad". (I hope i got a really good excuse) cant wait for the next read.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That was no saxophone, it was a french horn dropped by a real Frenchmen.

    It's in their blood........

    Sorry Don!


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