If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Oh crap Chuck Norris!