? asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles Β· 1 decade ago

what is the best chuck norris joke on the face of the frickin chuck norris planet?

I have chuck norris joke chats all the time i need to know all the good ones and fast

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

    Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

    Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

    There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

    When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    Source(s): Oh crap Chuck Norris!
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  • 1 decade ago

    Chuck Norris

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  • lj1
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

    Originally, Chuck Norris was cast for the role of Jack Bauer on the show "24." He was soon replaced with Kiefer Sutherland after he killed every bad guy in the world in 12 minutes, 24 seconds.

    Before the Boogey Man goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    The last digit of Pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

    Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

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  • Chuck Norris is suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

    Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

    Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

    When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

    Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

    If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

    Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

    Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

    Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

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  • 1 decade ago

    One day Chuck Norris amd Mr. T were playing a game of poker, Mr.T won, Chuck Norris got back at him....by inventing racism

    Everyone had skeletons in there closet, Chuck Norris has 4783.

    Chuck Norris secretly has sex with every Woman in the world at least once a month, thus resulting in their "period".

    Chuck Norris doesn't seduce women to sleep with them, he just looks at them and says "now"

    most people spell their name in snow or sand when they pee, Chuck Norris prefers steal

    Chuck Norris, the only person in the world who can do "good"

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  • 1 decade ago

    Chuck Norris said this was his favorite joke:

    They were going to put Chuck Norris on Mt. Rushmore but Granite wasn't tough enough for his beard.

    Another funny one is:

    Chuck Norris once ate 4 live baby turtles, when he crapped them out they were 6 feet tall and knew karate.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Chuck Norris owns you!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Chuck Norris can change the time, all he has to do is look at the clock and flex :)

    under Chuck Norris's beard isn't a chin. It is just another fist.

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  • kwest
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

    There are 3 main causes of death in America:

    1. Heart Disease

    2. Cancer

    3. Chuck Norris

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  • 1 decade ago

    chuck norris has counted to infiniti... twice

    snakes were once lizards, but chuck norris loves reptile legs

    global warming is a myth. chuck norris was cold so he turned the sun up

    with chuck norris, 1+1= anything he wants it to.

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