How do I tell my dad that my half-sister doesn't want to meet him? (reposted for more answers)?

I know this isn't the correct section but I'm not getting many answers from the family section so...

I found my 19 year old half-sister on myspace a few days ago! (YAY! I'm so happy!)...the last time I saw her was when she was like a year old and my dad hasn't seen her either. Well she & I have been emailing back and forth for the past few days just random, getting to know each other, things. Well when my dad heard that I had finally made contact with her, he told me to let her know he'd really like to see her...I don't want to feel like I'm forcing her into seeing anyone! She doesn't remember us (she didn't even know she had any sisters). She wants to meet me when she comes back in town, which I am THRILLED for but she doesn't seem to want any contact with our father. She said she wasn't trying to sound mean but she never really considered him her father (her mom remarried when she was 2-3 years old and that is who she always considered her dad). I really don't want my dad to get hurt but I don't want to drive away the sister I've looked for the past 17 years by trying to convince her to meet him. What do I do?!?

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Tell him she is not ready to meet him right now. At some point in the future just by talking and catching up, you could explain that your dad would really like to meet her but that doesn't diminish the role of her father, (moms husband) in any way and that your dad would not want to do anything that would hurt the relationship between your sister and her father. To your sister, her father is the only father she has ever known. To her, meeting and starting a relationship with your dad feels like she is betraying her father. If you push this issue you very well may push her away. You are still almost a stranger to her and it wouldn't be as hard for her to walk away from all of this as you may think. She is also young and things don't seem as clear to her at her age than someone else with a few years of maturity might see it. As time goes on and you get closer she will probably change her mind. She will probably have a lot of questions for your dad about why he wasn't around for all of those years and don't forget she has also only been getting one side of the story about what happened too. Take it slow. It's not always hugs and tears of joy like they portray on TV. Good Luck. : )

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Don't force her into doing anything she doesn't want to. She may or may not change her mind later on.

    Respect her wishes.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just be honest.

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