borderline, bulimia, depression?
I have been told before from symptoms that i have given that i could be borderline. i have severe mood swings, i self harm, i am very impulsive, i have rocky relationships etc but the main thing i am not convinced about is the abandonment issues. This is where it doesn't fit- i do not fear abandonment, i almost expect people to leave me because of the way i act. i can be very horrible which i hate. My view is leave or be left, i expect people to eventually see what i am really like and leave me so i do it before they can get the chance.
It is drastic, but i really hate myself. I have suffered from bulimia for 10 months which along with it has made my depression periods longer and more frequent. If i hadn't had the mood swings and self harm etc long before the bulimia i would have assumed depression due to the bulimia but talking to other borderlines, i share a lot of traits. I get into very bad spirals where everything goes out of control then i suddenly snap out of it. I used to be happy and sometimes moody but no im moody/depressed and sometimes happy but i can never feel properly happy anymore, i just feel empty and lost. i don't know where i belong, i don't know who my friends are, what i want to do and at the age of 19 9 think i should be able to stop these childish mood swings and pathetic behaviors
i don't think it is as drastic as borderline but people keep saying that
hmm i had bipolar suggested too but i don't have the manic periods. Happ(ier)ness and occasional hyperness yes but thats normal but is by no mean out of control manic
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
ok first of all, take a deep breath. im not quite sure how old you are but my guess is about my age. i have the same diagnosis as you pretty much. just not bulimic anymore. the part where you said you leave before you get left. i was the SAME way. when things were going great i started freaking out like a spiral down and ended it. i lost a bunch of great relaionships. i dont mean to crunch on your views but sweetie. read what you said. "i almost expect people to leave me because of the way i act. i can be very horrible which i hate. My view is leave or be left, i expect people to eventually see what i am really like and leave me so i do it before they can get the chance." thats expecting abandonment. as you said. you dont want the full flat out version so you end it. i have the same issue. you , in your mind, think that if you end it they are not abandoning you. but , you abandon them? its not your fault about the mood swings hunnie. yeah you wish you wouldnt have them but lets face it its going to happen happy or not. look. i dont know your past or your current present but if you would like to talk more i would definately not mind. if you have read my past questions on here i was in the same boat.. ok similar boat. i want to keep talking to you sweetheart. jsut so you have someone to relate to a little bit. because i know what its like not having anyone at all to call when your not sure what to do or crying uncontrollably. im here to talk to you when ever your needing it. email@example.com.. name is rochelle.
Maybe your self harm lead to bulimia. Moodiness is normal, and usually girls with bulimia are high strung, as from what I've been told. You shouldn't hate yourself, but sometimes you can't help it. As a personal opinion, I think you might be in denial, as for the borderline thing..You're probably just lost right now. Therapy is always a good way to go. It really helps with everything, and help you make the right decisions for your life. It sounds totally stupid, but it works, trust me. Also, in a study done at Yale, having one really good, trustworthy friend makes you a happier person, because he/she can guide you through everything and provide support. Hope this helps a little.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Go see your doctor. Nobody can answer that kinda question here. Sorry.
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- 1 decade ago
what the heck, you sound bipolar...