Are all the men on internet cheaters? How can I trust in men again? Help?

History:

I met a French man who lives in Rochester NY, in a dating website. He is a CEO and President one of a company is NY(he holds a master’s degree from the University of Rochester’s William E. Simon Graduate School of Business Administration (N.Y., USA). He is 56 year old and looked well educated man. He told me that he separated with his wife 5 years and had an unhappy marriage and already sent divorce dox to the court just waited divorce finalizing. From US he sent me a lot of love cards, gifts. He called me chated with me everyday and always told me that he missed me and loved me so much. He spent so much time to show his love for me and tried to move my heart. He saw me twice in my country and we was very happy together. He said to me he never met so beautifull, nice and well educated woman like me. He seemed very nice man I never thought that he cheated on me. I loved him so much with all my heart. He swore with me he loves me so much and will marry me and relocate to VN to live with me. I trust in him and felt in love with him.

One day I searched in internet I found his wife in Facebook. I decided to ask his wife if he separated 5 years and divorce sent to the court as he said. His wife was very shock and upset about her husband. She told me to send her all the proofs of her husband affair. I think his wife should know what kind of husband she live with, when her husband cheated on her so I decided to tell her all the truths and sent her all the proofs I have. I also told her before me her husband already loved a Chinese girl when he worked in China. When he left China that girl cried a lot. I knew this story because my boyfriend told me this story himseft. After talking with his wife I knew that they never been separated and he cheated on me. I feel so sorry his wife because I did not know my boyfriend cheated on me about his marriage status at the beginning.

I feel hurt and broken heart, because I give my heart for a wrong man. He lied and cheated both his wife and me. I can understand his wife must in pain and hurt so much about his cheating action. His wife is very nice woman and she is a teacher in Pittsfort NY. That man called me and blamed me why told the truth to his wife and why I sent to her the proofs and why I destroyed his family? He said I am Vietnamese and do not understand Western thinking. He said to me my action (tell the wife truth) is terrible action in Western countries. I said to him, "I will not lower myseft to love a married man and I do not want to steal happiness of your wife, I just do the things I should do and give a peace to my soul. " I am so sad but I know I should leave him. He is selfish and loves only himseft. I just could not understand why he has a nice wife, 3 lovely children and does not respect his family, chose the way to cheat a little woman from other side of the world.? I feel very sad and can not understand why that man blamed on me.

This story happend to me 4 months. Since then I did not contact with him any more. I closed my heart and can not open with any men. I see may be all the men could be a cheater if they have oppotunties to cheat. I lost my trust in men and I can not over this feeling. I feft I am so foolish and stupid. That bad man may think that he is clever so he can cheated on his wife and deceived me. He is a thief of my heart and a thief of his wife trust.

How can I trust in man again I really do not know. All the men in internet are cheater? Still there is honest man in this world?

How can I can believe someone again and why I can not forget his cheating actions? I think about that everyday.......PLEASE KINDLY HELP ME GET OVER THIS DIFFICULT TIME. I wanted to forget but can not.

Update:

He flew haft way of the world to meet me in person several times and met my family ask them for dating me as Vietnamese tradition. He did everything to show his love for me. But he is liar and cheater.

9 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Kudos to you Bubu, for contacting the wife. You are in no way responsible for hurting this jerk's family. He did this. I am the first one to call a homewrecker a few choice names, but if the man was lying to you about being married, it's not your fault. I'm so happy that you quit seeing the liar when you found out he was still married.

    There are TONS of wonderful men out there. I would not trust an internet dating site myself though. You can usually tell when a man is married. They are the ones that do come off with all those sweet things you want to hear. You're beautiful, you're wonderful, blah blah blah. That stuff comes from single guys too, but not so fast. A married man will tell you that so that you'll continue to be a woman on the side when you find out that he has been lying. Oldest trick in the book. Unfortunately, it works. So many lonely women in this world that they settle for being second and believe the lies they tell.

    I'm so sorry you're hurting, but this will pass. Just tell yourself what a loser he is and how lucky you are not to get stuck with him. Don't let him blame you. Don't respond to his idiotic accusations. Stay strong and away from him. He is toxic.

    ****

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  • 4 years ago

    No, certainly not ALL men are cheaters, but sad to say, some are. I had nearly the same thing happen to me, only I am a man and she a woman. It hurt then, and still hurts today, years later. People that are liars do not realize that we give our hearts with trust. I am happy to report that you can trust again, and love again, though it will not be easy. I am now happily married to a good woman, and excited about the future! My wish for you, after you heal from this, is the same.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    had it not been for the strangeness surrounding me and J, I would not be talking to him right now. I met J on this website and it turned out, although we live 1000 miles apart, i work with a guy that he knew when they were kids and in church. Had it not been for that connection, I probably wouldnt be involved with him right now. Not all men cheat and lie online, but most do. Be smart and dont fall for somebody until youve met them in person.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Put aside your unbelief and Say this prayer so God can come into your life, He is right there waiting, hoping You will make this choice & say it.

    He has a plan for your life He can and will help you with everything. He wants you to be the best you can be. He loves you and gave You free will to choose having His unfailing love in your life or not He loved you first and left the door open for you. Its up to you to walk through into His loving arms.

    God can help you, If only you ask Him.

    If you want to accept Christ as Savior and turn from your sins, you can ask Him to be your Savior and Lord by praying a prayer like this:

    "Lord Jesus, I believe You are the Son of God. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. Please forgive my sins and give me the gift of eternal life. I ask You in to my life and heart to be my Lord and Savior. I want to serve You always." Amen

    He helped me and I want you to feel his Love too.

    Then pass on this prayer to others so they can get to know Gods unfailing love too!

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  • 1 decade ago

    most or almost all guys are cheaters...it's just part of being a man. If you expect a guy to be faithful, then you might as well not try and be alone.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    We're not all cheaters. Some of us have morals. I despise cheating. I couldn't do something like that to anyone. No one deserves it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i don think so. i think alot are online though. im recently single, dont know to join a website or not to meet people. I plan on doing it myself but online just seems like they are not relationship material.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    get over it, the internet is a game which you shouldnt play to find love

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    buddy

    they are all cheaters they can tell whatever online

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