How do i tell my gay friend that im bi and have a crush on his lesbian friend?
There is this gay guy at my school and we are friends, not best friends but we talk on a regular basis. I am bi and i have developed a crush on his lesbian friend. i have wanted to tell him for a long time but i find it really hard to come out to people. I have messaged him and asked to meet to chat and he was more then happy to do so. I was just wondering how i should proceed with the situation, how to tell him that i am bi and that i have a crush on his friend.
any advice is valued
thank you :)
- humanbeanLv 41 decade agoBest Answer
Honestly and directly.
Unless times have changed completely he will be ecstatic to further your potential romance. He is unlikely to be mean about this, and maybe you "guys" could all casually get together for a movie, rock climb, or whatever.
i don't think a gay guy is going to "Out You" in the student newspaper...
I do think a gay guy is going to be completely sympathetic to your "plight", and that, whatever happens with your crush, you are apt to get a good and trusted friend out of this (your gay guy pal).
go for it...you don't even need to be really blattant.
How about something along the lines of "Hey, I've noticed you're friends with "Sassifras", and I think she looks really interesting...do you think you guys would like to...
join the global warming art project
go to the movies
go out for coffee
have lunch on Wednesday
watch Saturday Night Live at my house...
Ya get the idea. Invite him, and invite the girl...The girl knows he is gay, if he ismore out than you are...and the fact of your invitation will not be lost on her. then flirt.
and don't break her heart by being
gay in October, and Stait in December...
If you are still in the "I'm Bi= I fu anything I fancy stage....
Then leave the real lesbians alone and keep playing with your marginal girlfriends who know that the hot sex they have with you will not result in pregnancy. A crush is fine and normal. But toying with people is not. Bi sexuality has become so facile that many "real" Lesbians learn to mistrust it. Be sure you know who you are and that you have the capacity to love a woman before you involve yourself with a person who genuinely and deeply does so.
- JenniferLv 44 years ago
i say YES....it gets the Lesbian thing off your back if people suspect you are lesbian. There are no gay women as you may here all the time. Gay = male. Bisexual may not be understood by everyone but even straight people could say they are bisexual to get the homo suspicious people to go away. I'm single never married, there has to be suspicion among some people around me. If they ever ask I'll say bisexual.....that puts me in the company of males or FEMALES and that is what they want to know...gay or not.. Sigmond Freud thought everyone was bisexual. I do to.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think you should feel comfortable about approaching the lesbian girl. You will have to do so sooner or later if you want a relationship or...
If you are too shy to pursue her or something (make a move or introduce yourself, etc) that's understandable. That's so often the case when you feel so strongly and fear being let down. So if you ask your friend to hook you up with her, I'm sure he will be delighted to play matchmaker. He'll probably be glad that two of his friends can be really close. I would suggest that you say this: ("Joe" will you hook me up with "Amy"? I have very strong feelings about her, so I hope you will help me "break the ice" with her. Do you have any advice how I can catch her eye?). I think he wil be interested to help you girls get together if it brings you joy. Good luck with her. I hope you find bliss. :-)
- 1 decade ago
Well be honest with him from beginning to end, he knows how hard it is to open about being either Gay, Lesbian or even Bi..
Just tell him what you told us and how hard it is for you to open up about being Bi, he will understand where you are coming from after all he is gay right??
If you are honest with yourself then you will be honest with him and tell him exactly what it is that you wanted to talk him to about..
Good Luck.. Wish you all the best..
Keep the Faith && God Bless..
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- 1 decade ago
your making it sound like he's your boyfriend and you want to tell him that you have a crush on another girl...but he's gay so that's not the case...or that you feel like you have to ask for his permission to date his friend....
get to know her better, befriend her, see if she reciprocates...
I don't see why you had to specify him or how its any different than telling any of your friends.
just come out to him, he's gay, so knowing how natural and normal it is he will accept you..probably.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
So let me get this straight?? U wont talk to his LEZ friend?!?! Shes not str8 for heavens sake!! U got it good to like someone thats actually ur sexuality, go for her!!
- jmicaallefLv 41 decade ago
well you could get all 4 of u together and u bring a friend...then u introduce yourself to her and ask her yourself...cos shes a lez...so she wouldnt care
or u could just be like i like your friend introduce me to her...be honest with the situation
- One DayLv 51 decade ago
"Hey, I have something to tell you and a question to ask" "I'm Bi and I like your friend _____" "Do you think she would go out with me or hang out sometime?"
- autyLv 61 decade ago
Just tell him. He's gay, same sex, therefor he doesn't have a chance with her whereas you might. Although shouldn't you really be telling her?
- bunny's sineadLv 71 decade ago
you could always ask him if his friend is in a relationship
he might answer with "why? do you fancy?" to which you could answer may be, that way you are not committed and he might just introduce you to her