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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Under what circumstances should you get a divorce?

Under what circumstances should you get a divorce besides cheating, I know God says your not supposed to unless the husband/wife commits adultery. So whats you view, Im so afraid that God is going to deal with me if I go against his will...Advice please

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Please watch this talk on:

    The Psychology of Morality

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs41JrnGaxc

    Youtube thumbnail

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  • 1 decade ago

    In Matthew 5:31 it talks about divorce and that anyone who divorces must give a certificate of divorce. It proceeds to say..anyone who divorces except for marital unfaithfulness, causes one to become an adulterer, and anyone who marries the divorced person commits adultery.

    Go over to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Read the chapter in its entirety. It explains marriage/singleness the pros and cons. I read from the NIV/Message bible. Its a parallel bible that offers two translations, also the Amplified/Living bible is good too. Whichever helps you understand.

    I will point this out..verses 10-15 (1 Corinthians 7) may help you in your dilemma. Overall, God is about peace and not confusion. I like this translation:

    "time is of the essence". There is no time to waste, so don't complicate your lives unnecessarily. Keep it simple--in marriage, grief, joy whatever. Even in ordinary things--your daily routines of shopping and so on. Deal with as little as possible with the things the world will thrust upon you. "Time is short."

    Read these chapters for YOURSELF, pray and ask God to settle the issue in your heart...you will get your answer. I can't tell you what to do, what's right or wrong because we ALL will give an account for all we say and do.

    I recommend you go to the creature himself, that way you'll be at peace by whatever decision you're led to. His word is the final say so. I wish you well :O)

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  • Kriss
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    the three A's: Adultery, Abuse (physical, emotional, mental, financial), Addiction (drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, shopping/spending /mishandling finances)

    these are the big 3 reasons most religions will dissolve a marriage. And the reason for that is once these three enter the marriage then the vows have been broken and once the vows have been broken then the marriage is invalid.

    another reason for ending a marriage (that's alright w/ religion) is when the marriage should have never taken place to start with. for example: one of the spouses comes out as gay--this is an example of fraud. The spouse presented himself/herself as something they weren't or made promises that they were unable to honor and the marriage was invalid from the start.

    another example of fraud is when one of the spouses cannot legally marry the person they are married to because they are already married or when one of the spouses marries for criminal reasons. More mundane reasons--the husband is impotent; one spouse tells you they want children but once you are married they tell you no, they dont' want children, they only said so to marry you; neither spouse wants children at the start but one changes their mind and the other doesn't or one says they lied and hoped the other spouse would change their mind.

    so you have 4 instances when a marriage can be ended according to God's law: 3 of them (Adultery, Addiction, Abuse) are for when the vows have been broken and 1 (fraud) is for when the vows were invalid to start with.

    edit:

    excellent point about a spouse breaking the law after the marriage. I'm sure depending on the nature of the crime that it would fall under one of the 3 A's or under fraud and criminal activity would be a valid reason for ending a marriage.

    also good point about the Abandonment, although abandonment or neglect may be classed as a form of abuse.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Mental and physical abuse are reason for a divorce. God said the husband is to love his wife as the He loves His church. This means God loves his children and the man should love his wife the same way. Mental and physical abuse are not Gods way, a reason for divorce.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wrong choice you made. God knows we are not perfect and he forgives ignorance. You might have thought you loved this man, then realized it was everything but love.

    His attitude and personality also has to do a lot about keeping love alive, if it was ever there. Indifference, insensitivity, arrogance, manipulation, lack of caring, selfish, proud, are just a few of the things that could "kill" love and again, God knows all that.

    God wants you to be happy with a man who He will put in your life and you will know it when the time comes. Ask Him this time, to help you make the right choice according to His will.

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  • Pookie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Abuse: emotionally, physical, mental

    I would consider a divorce if my spouse became involved in criminal activity, or a physical addition to gambling or a susbtance (I would stay as long as I could, but if I had children, or if there was no attempt to recovery, I would be out of there)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Let's start with abuse and neglect. I haven't asked God but I do not think anyone should stay in an abusive relationship. When people get married is it not because they love and cherish each other as human beings? When we think of loving another person to the point of marrying them we want to keep them safe and nurtured. When a person discontinues respecting, nurturing, caring and wanting to keep the other person safe...it's time or a divorce.

    Source(s): PROGRAM DIRECTOR of a dual diagnosis intensive outpatient program.
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  • 1 decade ago

    If you are being abused emotionally or physically;

    If your husband is controlling you and trying to alienate you from your family and/or friends (this is abuse);

    If your husband is abusive towards your children;

    If your husband has substance abuse issues for which he is unable/unwilling to obtain help;

    If your husband is involved in criminal activity;

    If your husband is unfaithful;

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  • Erika
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    God will not "deal with you" for leaving your abusive husband. You need to get out now before its too late.

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  • 1 decade ago

    adultery, abuse, or abandonment.

    but only after counseling. i really hate how many people's advice for everything from boredom to him not picking up his socks is "divorce him/her!"

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  • 1 decade ago

    Cheating and abuse. This can be physical, mental, financial, emotional, sexual or substance abuse that one is not willing to seek help for. I think anytime your family is in danger you should leave the situation.

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