Boyfriend always wants sex normal?

Okay so I've been going out with this guy for almost a year. And we've had sex before but it was always whenever it happens it happens. Now all of a sudden there's all this pressure to have sex. And i know he's trying to get me to go along with it because he'll always finger me or give oral and I just wont be in the mood OR ask for it. I always feel bad but 1) we never have time we're always busy 2) I'm afraid of getting caught. If my parents EVER find out about this I'll be kicked out of the house. I don't want to let him down but at the same time it isn't worth getting kicked out of my house for. He's not doing as well in school (college level) as I am and I don't want the whole sex thing to get in the way. I know when I receive but don't give I seem like a ***** but really more than half the time I don't want it. So what the heck do I do?


Also I know a lot of you think I'm too young and immature for sex. Whatever that's not the point anymore I made my bed and I'm the one that has to sleep in it not you. Its my judgment call not yours you're not my parent you're not my best friend you're someone on the internet who knows nothing about me. Just answer the question based on the information. I'm sick of being told I'm "too immature" Thanks

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Hun, first of all you aren't a b*tch if you say no. Sex is supposed to be mutual, an expression of love and physical attraction. Faking it, or doing it just because he wants you to defeats the whole point.

    A lot of guys want to have sex all the time. Even if they aren't in the mood, the mention of it can make them want to. Most women just aren't like that, and it's totally normal for you to not want to have sex every single time he wants to.

    Sex won't get in the way of his school work. It'll probably make him more relaxed if anything and help him do a little better. So don't worry about that.

    If the house scares you so much, maybe try other places.

    What's wrong with where he lives? Or maybe your friend will let you stay at their place for a weekend. Or you could be crazy spontaneous and do it in the back of a car in an empty parking lot or somewhere different.

    When you say "We don't have time anymore", I think you are thinking that way because a part of you really wants to. Generally when a girl really isn't into it a couple weeks can go by, maybe even a few months, and she won't be missing it/needing it at all.

    You want to get it on just as much he does, but the stress of everything is getting in the way.

    The most important thing you need to do is tell him how you feel. Tell him you're afraid of getting kicked out of your house and suggest some place else. It's so important that you guys talk about stuff, otherwise the relationship will have more serious problems.

    Also, if he's fingering and you don't like it, there are a bunch of ways to resolve that without hurting his feelings. Like moving his hands away from that area and straddling him as a distraction. Make out more and try new things. Take control some control so you can figure out what you like, experiment. Sex is supposed to fun!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    sex is quite important for any relation to be prosperous, and most guys want it more often that women, that he wants it often is normal... I think that's a choice you can answer, there will be a point where he has to keep waiting for things to change or go find it somewhere else... think of it as food... when you're hungry and you're out on the street isn't harder to stay away from fast food places or a restaurant when you should be eating at home... how long could you avoid not eating somewhere...

    and though i understand its a way different situation... both can turn into an almost unstoppable urge...

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Okay, harsh wake up call time: You are a young woman of the 21st century. You can (and should) tell him no and expect to be respected! The next time he tries anything sexual that you don't want him to do right that moment, calmly tell him that you're just not in the mood right now and that you'd rather not be kicked out of your house. Sex should NOT be the number one thing in a relationship, whether it's in or out of high school. Your boyfriend should understand that, and if he has insecurity issues because you're smarter than he is, then that's his problem. If he doesn't respect your wishes, you don't need him around anyway. "Letting him down" should NEVER be as important as getting kicked out of your house or even doing something you don't really want to do. Next time he pressures you, tell him no. It's that simple.

    Good luck, hon, and God bless.

  • Janice
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Guys have a heavy sex drive till about mid 20s early 30s.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The forbidden element (worried about getting caught by your parents) makes sex more desirable. Plus most guys his age have fairly high libidos. Men hit their sexual prime in the teens-20s. Women hit it in their 30s.

    You need to talk to him about your sex life an expectations. Tell him that yes, you want sex with him and enjoy it, but because you live with your parents you're not totally free, and you don't want your entire relationship with him to be about sex. He's got two hands, he can take care of himself sometimes. Tell him you don't like the pressure he's putting on you, and it doesn't make you want sex more. Just be honest.

    And hopefully you have plans to move out soon.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sounds like you two are not really compatible. Break up with him, maybe he can find someone that is interested in him sexually. You will basically just frustrate him the rest of his life. Do both of yourselves a favor before you get married and divorced over the issue.

  • 1 decade ago

    let him know that you dont want to be pressured and to stop asking you for it all the time couse its making you think thats all he wants. and if he gets mad at that then hes a kid. a real man knows how to act and get a women to want him and honestly hes not doing a good job, he must be a horn dog and most the time pleases himself by touching u instead of making u feel good.

  • Shana
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I would break up with him. I know you probably don't want to but it is the thing to do. you have other important things in your life and it's not SEX. Think about your future, do you have one with him. If so i guess stay with him if not DITCH HIM.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he's willing to give you oral. thats a guy you want to keep around. be creative, there are tons of other places to have sex.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    the dude lost focus and ..using sex to make him feel better ..he needs to get back to his life .

    take a break tell him you want him to be back on track first then sex

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