哈佛大學 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文作文文法的衣些問題

各位精通英文文法的大大們,小弟寫了一篇的作文想請你們幫我看看文法哪裡有錯誤.

Update:

My favorite room

Some people have different style in their room. My favorite room has a verity of characteristic. First of all, the wall should white. For example, the white represent clean and simple-hearted, and the white could help my room become brighter. Second, I want to put bookshelves.

Update 2:

For example, I like read books or some novel, so I need buy bookshelves put my room. Most important could make my room neat and tidy. Next, I will plant some flower on the flowerpot in my room. For instance, every day I could enjoy comfortable evergreen life.

Update 3:

Finally, the picture window is most important. For example, sometimes when I study for a long time, I will tire, so I need take a rest and relax. In this time, I will sit in front of picture window, and watch beautiful scene.

1 Answer

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    【題目】

    My favorite room

    →My Favorite Room

    記得不是介系詞字首就要改大寫

    【第一段】

    Some people have different style in their room.

    →○

    文法對,只是有一點怪怪卡卡的

    My favorite room has a verity of characteristic.

    →There is a variety of characteristic in my favorite room.

    <1>建議改成there is句型

    <2>variety拼錯

    <3>characteristic改複數)

    First of all, the wall should white.

    →First of all, the wall should be white.

    →First of all, the wall should be whitewashed.

    <1>因為沒有動詞,所以第一句幫你加了一個be

    <2>猜想你可能是要說"牆壁要刷白",所以改成第二句

    For example, the white represent clean and simple-hearted, and the white could help my room become brighter.

    →white color represents clean and simple-hearted image

    →also, it could makes my room brighter.

    <1>white前面用the來限定沒必要,white本身就是名詞,但這裡加一個color比較通順

    <2>represent前面有三單要加s

    <3>represent後面要加名詞,clean and simple-hearted都是形容詞,所以幫你加上image

    <4>最後一個句子和前一個句子的主詞一樣,所以用it代替

    <5>最後一個句子太囉嗦,所以用make+O+adj改寫

    Second, I want to put bookshelves.

    →Secondly, I'd like to set bookshelves in my room.

    <1>兩個方式,第一種你前面的first of all不用改,後面的second改成secondly;第二種你把前面的first of all改成the first,後面的second改成the second

    <2>我覺得改成would like to比較順

    <3>put是擺放著的意思,但set有安裝的意思,set比較好

    <4>因為你的first of all和secondly離得有點遠,而且兩大點的內容長度有差滿多的,我覺得讀者容易混淆,所以又加了一個地方副詞片語in my room,也順便點題

    2009-10-12 02:48:04 補充:

    【第二段】

    For example, I like read books or some novel, so I need buy bookshelves put my room.

    →I like to read books and some novels

    →so I need bookshelves.

    2009-10-12 02:48:13 補充:

    <1>你的第二段跟第一段有跳tone,而且忽然冒出for example有點不知所云的感覺,我不曉得你原本想表達的內容,所以就只針對文法下手修改

    <2>like後面要加to V當受詞,不然你會同時存在有need和buy兩個動詞

    <3>novel加s

    2009-10-12 02:48:18 補充:

    <4>你原句的need後面直接加buy,的確need可以當助動詞,只是它一般當助動詞使用時,會出現在否定句型

    <5>改為need to buy bookshelves後又發覺太囉嗦,所以直接改成need bookshelves

    <6>我覺得不用強調in my room讀者就能知道,一直重複文章會很雜,重點也會模糊掉

    2009-10-12 02:48:29 補充:

    Most important could make my room neat and tidy.

    →Most important of all, bookshelves could make my room neater and tidier.

    <1>most important of all整個副詞片語要一起使用

    <2>改成it could make又發現你前面用的是複數的bookshelves,但用they could make又會覺得they是什麼而突然會意不過來,所以乾脆直接用bookshelves could make

    <3>改用比較級更有力

    2009-10-12 02:48:52 補充:

    Next, I will plant some flower on the flowerpot in my room. For instance, every day I could enjoy comfortable evergreen life.

    →And the next,

    →I will plant some flowers on the flowerpot in my room so that every day I can enjoy comfortable evergreen life.

    2009-10-12 02:48:56 補充:

    <1>改成and the next

    <2>flower改複數

    <3>不懂為什麼會出現for instance所以改用so that連接兩個句子

    <4>前面你用現在是的will後面卻用過去式的could,整個打架,所以改成can

    2009-10-12 02:49:07 補充:

    【第三段】

    Finally, the picture window is most important.

    →○

    正確,但picture window改成複數也可以

    2009-10-12 02:49:18 補充:

    For example, sometimes when I study for a long time, I will tire, so I need take a rest and relax.

    →For instance,

    → sometimes I will get tired when I study for a long time,

    →so I need to take a rest and relax.

    2009-10-12 02:49:34 補充:

    <1>第一段用過for example了,所以我改成for instance

    <2>你原先的sometimes when I study for a long time, I will tire兩句分開本來是很OK的,但你後面又出現so I need take a rest and relax,變成三句,我覺得太零零落落,不如將sometimes when I study for a long time和I will tire倒過來,變成一個句子sometimes I will get tired when I study for a long time

    2009-10-12 02:49:37 補充:

    <3>tire是及物動詞,你前面的主詞要是事物,而不會是人,你自己不會使你自己疲累,所以改成I will get tired

    <4>同樣的問題,need後面要加to V當受詞

    2009-10-12 02:49:48 補充:

    In this time, I will sit in front of picture window, and watch beautiful scene.

    →In this time, I will sit in front of picture window, watching beautiful scenes.

    <1>如果你是國中生那寫成, and watch...是可以的,但若你是國中以上程度,強烈建議改成, watching...的分詞構句

    <2>scene要嘛改複數,不然就改成不可數的scenery

    2009-10-12 02:49:58 補充:

    【建議】

    <1>把文法書裡的五大句型搞懂,對你的幫助會很大

    <2>整篇文章轉折詞好多,有點喧賓奪主

    <3>段和段的連貫性有點弱,可以再改一下

    <4>單字量是你的優點,善用這部分,多抽換詞面,你的作文會比別人更有可看性(如果連貫性和文法這兩個缺點能改善的話)

    <5>加油!只要多花點心思的話,進步會很神速!

    2009-10-12 02:53:29 補充:

    sorry

    →also, it could make"s" my room brighter.

    這裡要改成

    →also, it could make my room brighter.

    夜深了,眼有點花抱歉

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